Hi there,
So just to give you a view from the mountain top, I have wrestled with my schizophrenia since my twenties and I have learned:
Doctors, nurses, carers, whoever, they all fundamentally have nothing to say to the Devil, in his desire to leave you in bondage, with nothing of your own say. I have even got to the point, where I will not trust God, in preference to not having the Devil say "I know you, better than you know yourself". That's the line the Devil gives people who are sane (he's never happy with sanity either, go figure that out!) and it makes no difference whether you are on your way to sanity or away from it, the Devil will not concede you need a judgment of your own, to help deal with the schizophrenia - he will just leave you with the schizophrenia, until it destroys you, in one fashion or another.
I have called myself all manner of names, asserted myself in all manner of ways - "I'm the Devil, I hate the world; I'm the anti-Christ, the world is mine" etc. etc. and I have never got rest from my schizophrenia. It's like Jesus said "Birds have nests and foxes have holes, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay the head". Jesus gets it. Jesus realises that asking for sanity in the middle of a schizophrenic breakdown is not going to make the Devil go away: you have to get angry and say "Hey Devil, I know you will never let me forget my schizophrenia, but you never let Jesus out of His Schizophrenia, so now I am wise to you and you telling me on my own, isn't going to work!"
Like you literally have to put your foot down "I may never be free from schizophrenia, but that's not going to stop me from praising God forever" - if you can do this, you will be free, in some degree (the exact nature of your freedom will depend on what condition you have, what it is tempting you to do and how long it takes for you to surrender it to the Holy Spirit). Have hope, the Devil can be beaten - if he was so curious about your Schizophrenia, he might be interested himself, but being proud, he'll never be able to admit it (like I'm doing here - let the reader note) and so for him, it will only ever get worse. If it gets worse, the Devil will fight, but he will need to be "tamed" before he can learn to cope with it!
Thumbs up for Jesus, if you think the Devil could get tamed by a schizophrenic! Jesus said "Watch out, it's at the door" you haven't got long when you are facing off with the Devil - show him the way up or show him the way out!
The Devil should have been happy with my schizophrenia a long time ago.
So just to give you a view from the mountain top, I have wrestled with my schizophrenia since my twenties and I have learned:
He doesn't want you to give it to him, but he doesn't want you to give it to anyone else, either. He's scared. He thinks you will outfox him, or take off with something he was counting on having to himself. God thinks this is funny, even. Like God - without you asking Him - will leave the Devil to complain about your schizophrenia all day and all night long. It's like there is a different schizophrenia every moment: the Devil does not want it to stop.The Devil is never happy, with your schizophrenia
Doctors, nurses, carers, whoever, they all fundamentally have nothing to say to the Devil, in his desire to leave you in bondage, with nothing of your own say. I have even got to the point, where I will not trust God, in preference to not having the Devil say "I know you, better than you know yourself". That's the line the Devil gives people who are sane (he's never happy with sanity either, go figure that out!) and it makes no difference whether you are on your way to sanity or away from it, the Devil will not concede you need a judgment of your own, to help deal with the schizophrenia - he will just leave you with the schizophrenia, until it destroys you, in one fashion or another.
I have called myself all manner of names, asserted myself in all manner of ways - "I'm the Devil, I hate the world; I'm the anti-Christ, the world is mine" etc. etc. and I have never got rest from my schizophrenia. It's like Jesus said "Birds have nests and foxes have holes, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay the head". Jesus gets it. Jesus realises that asking for sanity in the middle of a schizophrenic breakdown is not going to make the Devil go away: you have to get angry and say "Hey Devil, I know you will never let me forget my schizophrenia, but you never let Jesus out of His Schizophrenia, so now I am wise to you and you telling me on my own, isn't going to work!"
Like you literally have to put your foot down "I may never be free from schizophrenia, but that's not going to stop me from praising God forever" - if you can do this, you will be free, in some degree (the exact nature of your freedom will depend on what condition you have, what it is tempting you to do and how long it takes for you to surrender it to the Holy Spirit). Have hope, the Devil can be beaten - if he was so curious about your Schizophrenia, he might be interested himself, but being proud, he'll never be able to admit it (like I'm doing here - let the reader note) and so for him, it will only ever get worse. If it gets worse, the Devil will fight, but he will need to be "tamed" before he can learn to cope with it!
Thumbs up for Jesus, if you think the Devil could get tamed by a schizophrenic! Jesus said "Watch out, it's at the door" you haven't got long when you are facing off with the Devil - show him the way up or show him the way out!
The Devil should have been happy with my schizophrenia a long time ago.