The Coffee Shop (7)

[beckybooiloveu]

*bec wanders in and curls up in a dark corner where she becomes invisible*

 

[Soulwings]

No, no, no becoming invisible. Maybe to the outside world, but not to us. We care about you, love. Hang in there.

* Soulwings sends Arnold over to snuggle with Bec and make her feel better with his pandalicious hugs, and then settles down by the fire to write some poems for a little while before it's time to get busy with the day.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*cries* i want to be invisible... to everyone... or just not here at all...

 

[Soulwings]

I understand, love. I've wanted to be invisible too... in fact, have felt invisible... and it's not really a pleasant feeling. Why do you want to be invisible??

Can I get you anything to drink??

...

Two thousand nine is almost here!! I can't really believe it... it's ridiculous!! This year went by wayy too fast. Any highlights from it, anyone? good, bad, funny?

...

s for all.

 

[katey]

i'd love a nice hot drink, its rather chilly here, in fact its snowed earlier and stuck but its trying to snow again n not doing much just making things really really cold.


i'm wishing there was a real coffe shop i could hide in. i dont like new year.

hope everyones well xxxx

Katey slips in and collapses in the corner on the bean bags out of the way coz thats where she belongs at the minute

Arnold i brought some surprises for you theyr on the counter x

 

[katey]

Happy new year ............................


crawls into corner and hides.

 

[katey]

Anyone around??

 

[katey]

Its a little bit quiet in here at the minute. Im going to have a tidy up need to keep busy for a bit. And we havent had a spring clean for a while, all the Drinks have been topped up and theres fresh muffins and pastries if anyone would like one!

 

[Soulwings]

Ooh hullo, Katey.

Thanks for tidying up!! It was getting to be a bit of a mess. Is there chai around? I'm hankering after a mug of peppermint chai, actually... or hot chocolate.

* Arnold thanks Katey for the treats by giving her a pandalicious squishy hug.

Happy New Year's... I hope that oh nine will be better than oh eight was... not much hope for that, though. Grrrr.

* Soulwings snuggles up by the fire with a fleece blanket and dozes off.

 

[katey]

April, ill get you a mug of Peppermint Chai right away there plenty on the go.
know what your mean about not much hope. i dont get what all the whoha is about new year nothing much changes, like i said, other than the date!!!

Hope your all doing ok, ive found a new room in amonst all the mess that was piled over by the cool area, its a stress relief zone.( sounds random i kno but bare with me) you can use it whever you feel the need to destress or anything, its completly safe (and sound proof if u feel the need to scream and shout!) there foam walls with bean bags and soft toys to chuck around and pillows to scream into. could do with one of them in in reality, but hey heres just as good. hope you all like it, it can be whatever you need it to be x

 

[beckybooiloveu]

i want to be invisible because noone should have to see someone as hideous as me... im disgusting... i disgust myself so i cant imagine what i do to other ppl...

Happy new year everyone btw.

*curls up in corner and bangs head on wall to stop thoughts*

 

[katey]

hun in here everyones welcome you done have to be invisible, no matter what you think. its not true. remember we dont see what other people see, but we also struggle to listen to other people telling us good things, or the things that they see.

dont bang your head, honestly hun it wont help it just gives you a really really bad headache.


anyone like a drink??

 

[Soulwings]

Bec, love, you may indeed disgust yourself - but that by no means means that you disgust others. I'm pretty sure that there are plenty of people out there who think you are beautiful. I know that you are beautiful, because I know the "inside" Bec... you're kind, gentle, caring, loving, and encouraging/supportive. I hope and pray that someday you will be able to see the true you... the God-created you... not the twisted and warped view that your ED has given you.

And Katey is right, banging your head will do nothing except give you an awful headache. And I'm not sure if I've got any Tylenol in my purse... maybe there's some in the kitchen cupboards?

...

Katey, I think the stress relief zone is a good idea. I might just be using that in a bit, if things keep going the way they are. Yey someplace to scream that is soundproof!!

Thanks for the peppermint chai, it was tasty!! Yesterday actually I went to a coffeeshop in town with my sister and I had a chai latte... not peppermint, though, although they do offer than as an option. It was really good. Right now I'm drinking Irish Creme coffee, so I think I'm set - but do you want anything to drink??

...

Today should be an okay day. Jarrod and I may be doing something together, since he's not working... but I don't know what. He may take me somewhere but I don't know where; he says he wants to keep it a surprise. At least, that's what he said last night. Not sure if it holds true for today or not. I hope so!! hehe. 'Cause that would be exciting.

I can't believe that it's a new year... but yeh Katey, you're right, I don't understand somewhat just why so much is made about the year changing... but oh well. I guess a new year is a time to start fresh or something... I don't know. I'm going to try to make this a better year than last year was. Hopefully it won't be that hard...

* Soulwings snuggles up with her coffee and a book by the fire and reads for awhile, til breakfast - pancakes!!

* Arnold wants to snuggle with someone, but he's too sleepy to move... he ate a lot of those treats... ...but they were oh so good!!!

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*curls up on a sofa lounge to try and regain some energy because she is feeling weak... *

 

[Soulwings]

Bec. Have you eaten lately??

* Arnold wakes up and waddles over to snuggle with his friend.

* Soulwings fixes herself breakfast and reads for a little while before church.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

no... i cant remember the last time i ate... im feeling really ill tonight actually.. really light headed, shaky, headachey... just ill all round... and weak... i feel so weak... and cold... which doenst make sense

*curls up on the couch under a pile of blankets even though its summer*

 

[Soulwings]

Bec You're weak and cold cos you can't remember the last time you ate, sweetie. You should know the pattern by now. Try and eat something, even if it's small. You're risking gaining weight if you don't eat... if you do eat you'll be fine.

* Soulwings fixes herself a chai latte and Bec a mug of hot raspberry tea, and sends Arnold over to snuggle with Bec and keep her warm til she eats something.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

ive havent felt this bad before from not eating... so i didnt even think about it... but i actually have the flu... so that is also not helping...
everytime my mum has seen me in the last month she cant believe how much more weight i have lost... i cant see it though... i jsut cant see it... my clothes still feel the same size... i cant see my bones anymore than i could before... i still feel gross...
but i have eaten a little so dont worry... im eating...

my mum is also saying that i have to have at least two weeks off work before i go back to college because of how sick ive been and apparently i look worn out... but because i have just bought my first car and im still paying it off, i cant affor two weeks off. because i cant go back to college with an empty bank account... especially when i cant work for the frist two weeks because of preparation and orientation week in which i am heavily involved in...

 

[Soulwings]

I'll be praying, Bec. I don't have many words to say right now about much of anything.

...

My best friend and I made chocolate chip muffins yesterday, and took a load of photos of us just being goofy. Who said that people our age have to be grown up? Haha......

* Soulwings hides under a fleece blanket in the corner with Arnold.

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*bec goes and hides uner the blanket with april and gives april a BIG hug*