mina
Brown Eyed girl
No, the church shouldn't help singles to find partners (that would be a little controlling and weird), but they should be welcoming to singles in the body of Christ and help them in their faith. There should not be matchmaking events or social events specifically for matchmaking, but the church should be a place where singles are included and welcomed sincerely. I was a longtime single and my experience was the church either wanted singles completely separate in their own singles ministry never to mix with couples or families unless they could provide child care or I was one of only 2 or 3 singles in church at all because it was an unwelcome environment and singles were not coming. There was no one to meet if you were trying to find someone that shared your faith either romantically or for even friendship with similar persons. That's not the reason to come to church but churches do facilitate groups for families , moms, and couples to befriend one another because most churches are extremely welcoming to those in those various life stages and want them to feel accepted in the congregation and keep coming back. I will say it's hard in the church as a single ; people can be cruel. It meant so much to me when a married woman at church befriended me and truly was my friend inside and outside of church and treated me like I belonged there and not just someone she needed to charm to be a warm body in a ministry and then never speak to me again.
Singles ministries or bible studies can have their own problems and quite frankly I never attended the singles events or ministries at my church when I was single. It was a large church and there was a single's ministry but it had very weak leadership. I attended the singles Sunday school class a few times when I was new because it was the only place I could go. There I made friends with several young women just like me and we created our own Bible study for women and met in each other's homes. I count them as some of my closest friends - throughout singlehood and even now when most all of us are married. So I do think there should be ministries geared towards singles- to fellowship, study, and minister together but it shouldn't be the place for singles to be locked in and they are never welcome to join other ministries or fellowships in the church (choir, small groups, etc...) until they are married. Like I said before, I didn't really attend any singles events my church offered and when a small group for women was started I joined that instead, I served with other ministries within the church that had nothing to do with my single status and well meaning church people would tell me to my face that I would never ever find a Christian man to marry because I didn't attend the singles group! anyways, I said all that to say this: I do not think that churches should focus on pairing anyone up, but I do think that they they should welcome singles and disciple them so they do have connections with the body of Christ and solid faith and so that finding a quality person of a shared faith isn't looked down upon or is such a rare occurrence.
Singles ministries or bible studies can have their own problems and quite frankly I never attended the singles events or ministries at my church when I was single. It was a large church and there was a single's ministry but it had very weak leadership. I attended the singles Sunday school class a few times when I was new because it was the only place I could go. There I made friends with several young women just like me and we created our own Bible study for women and met in each other's homes. I count them as some of my closest friends - throughout singlehood and even now when most all of us are married. So I do think there should be ministries geared towards singles- to fellowship, study, and minister together but it shouldn't be the place for singles to be locked in and they are never welcome to join other ministries or fellowships in the church (choir, small groups, etc...) until they are married. Like I said before, I didn't really attend any singles events my church offered and when a small group for women was started I joined that instead, I served with other ministries within the church that had nothing to do with my single status and well meaning church people would tell me to my face that I would never ever find a Christian man to marry because I didn't attend the singles group! anyways, I said all that to say this: I do not think that churches should focus on pairing anyone up, but I do think that they they should welcome singles and disciple them so they do have connections with the body of Christ and solid faith and so that finding a quality person of a shared faith isn't looked down upon or is such a rare occurrence.
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