The Causemostlogical Argument (aka. Let's disagree to agree)

[Mark Quayle]

This is meant to be tongue-in-cheek, caricaturistic, hyperbolic even. Don't get upset.

Ok, try not to get upset.

In order of their placement on a scale of simple-to-complicated-thinking concerning causation:


—Atheists: Long, long chain
"Science!"

—Agnostics: Weak links
"Maybe there was"

—Deists: Long Chain enthusiasts
(God caused)
"I was"

—Theists: Long Chain therefore Short Chain
(God causes)
"I am"

—Calvinists: First Cause be cause
"I am that I am"

—Arminians: First Cause because effect to be caused causes
"I am that I might"

—Pelagians: Effect causes first cause
"I could be"

—Open Theists: Effect causes unknowable future
"I could be; we'll see"

—Middle Causers: Effect causes random possibilities
"I might be; we'll see"

 

[Hans Blaster]

What is this supposed to be?

Given that it is in the kitchen sink forum and keeps mentioning chains, I can only conclude that it is a random characterization of groups positions on sink stopper management and methods. (I never liked sink stoppers on chains.)

 

[durangodawood]

I like the idea of the Causemos.