The breakdown of the family-Where are the parents?

[Semper-Fi]

Where are the parents?
Politicians and policymakers looking to address the youth-crime
crisis cannot afford to ignore the question.

Youth Crime and Family Structure | City Journal

“
A group of seven young Philadelphia teens were caught on
surveillance camera beating a 73-year-old man named James
Lambert Jr. to death with a traffic cone in June.

The footage shows the teens giggling and recording the slow,
brutal assault as if it were casual entertainment. “I just
don’t know what’s going on in our city,” Lambert’s niece
told Fox 29 Philadelphia. “Where were the parents?”

Pennsylvania, like many states nationwide, is experiencing
a youth-crime crisis. Data from the state’s Juvenile Court
Judges’ Commission suggest that a major factor in crime
among youth is family structure.

More than 80 percent of every juvenile court disposition in
2021 involved a young person who lives in a broken home,
without two married parents. Nearly 48 percent live with a
single mother, while a mere 15.5 percent live with both
parents. Similar trends hold up year after year after year.

“That’s consistent with what I’d expect, but it’s a striking
number,” said Brad Wilcox, a senior fellow at the Institute
for Family Studies and director of the National Marriage
Project at the University of Virginia.

“The strongest predictor for incarceration is the share of
two-parent families in a neighborhood.” Wilcox pointed to
research by Raj Chetty of Harvard University and the IFS
that confirms that criminal behavior drops dramatically for
youths who live with both parents and in neighborhoods with
a high proportion of married adults.

“America’s young man problem is disproportionately concentrated
among the millions of males who grew up without the benefit of
a present biological father,” a recent IFS brief concluded.

“The bottom line: both these men and the nation are paying
a heavy price for the breakdown of the family.”
”

 

[Ligurian]

Where are the parents?
Politicians and policymakers looking to address the youth-crime
crisis cannot afford to ignore the question.

Youth Crime and Family Structure | City Journal

“
A group of seven young Philadelphia teens were caught on
surveillance camera beating a 73-year-old man named James
Lambert Jr. to death with a traffic cone in June.

The footage shows the teens giggling and recording the slow,
brutal assault as if it were casual entertainment. “I just
don’t know what’s going on in our city,” Lambert’s niece
told Fox 29 Philadelphia. “Where were the parents?”

Pennsylvania, like many states nationwide, is experiencing
a youth-crime crisis. Data from the state’s Juvenile Court
Judges’ Commission suggest that a major factor in crime
among youth is family structure.

More than 80 percent of every juvenile court disposition in
2021 involved a young person who lives in a broken home,
without two married parents. Nearly 48 percent live with a
single mother, while a mere 15.5 percent live with both
parents. Similar trends hold up year after year after year.

“That’s consistent with what I’d expect, but it’s a striking
number,” said Brad Wilcox, a senior fellow at the Institute
for Family Studies and director of the National Marriage
Project at the University of Virginia.

“The strongest predictor for incarceration is the share of
two-parent families in a neighborhood.” Wilcox pointed to
research by Raj Chetty of Harvard University and the IFS
that confirms that criminal behavior drops dramatically for
youths who live with both parents and in neighborhoods with
a high proportion of married adults.

“America’s young man problem is disproportionately concentrated
among the millions of males who grew up without the benefit of
a present biological father,” a recent IFS brief concluded.

“The bottom line: both these men and the nation are paying
a heavy price for the breakdown of the family.”
”

Where were the parents?
Standing somewhere waaaay behind his/her teachers.

Nobody ever asks why teachers--who take up most of the child's time and formative years--are never the ones being blamed.

Say the parents taught their child that there is no Santa Claus. And the child tells his/her friends in school. And the child's teacher hears about it, and orders the parents to come talk about this.
Will the child (1) go against his peers and the teacher who push this fairy tale? Or (2) blame the parents for teaching what got him/her in trouble?

If the child chooses option (2), then who are the child's real parents?


May I suggest to you that the "breakdown of the family" started when mandated schools started teaching what the government wants the children to learn.

 

[wendykvw]

Where are the parents?
Politicians and policymakers looking to address the youth-crime
crisis cannot afford to ignore the question.

Youth Crime and Family Structure | City Journal

“
A group of seven young Philadelphia teens were caught on
surveillance camera beating a 73-year-old man named James
Lambert Jr. to death with a traffic cone in June.

The footage shows the teens giggling and recording the slow,
brutal assault as if it were casual entertainment. “I just
don’t know what’s going on in our city,” Lambert’s niece
told Fox 29 Philadelphia. “Where were the parents?”

Pennsylvania, like many states nationwide, is experiencing
a youth-crime crisis. Data from the state’s Juvenile Court
Judges’ Commission suggest that a major factor in crime
among youth is family structure.

More than 80 percent of every juvenile court disposition in
2021 involved a young person who lives in a broken home,
without two married parents. Nearly 48 percent live with a
single mother, while a mere 15.5 percent live with both
parents. Similar trends hold up year after year after year.

“That’s consistent with what I’d expect, but it’s a striking
number,” said Brad Wilcox, a senior fellow at the Institute
for Family Studies and director of the National Marriage
Project at the University of Virginia.

“The strongest predictor for incarceration is the share of
two-parent families in a neighborhood.” Wilcox pointed to
research by Raj Chetty of Harvard University and the IFS
that confirms that criminal behavior drops dramatically for
youths who live with both parents and in neighborhoods with
a high proportion of married adults.

“America’s young man problem is disproportionately concentrated
among the millions of males who grew up without the benefit of
a present biological father,” a recent IFS brief concluded.

“The bottom line: both these men and the nation are paying
a heavy price for the breakdown of the family.”
”

The breakdown of the family occured when women were told they can have a career and family. It broke down when women were told you can be just like a man. Biblically speaking women have a role in shaping morality and rasing a family. Most women I know view motherhood as degrading. Well, this is one of many consequences of the breakdown.

 

[Skye1300]

The breakdown of the family occured when women were told they can have a career and family. It broke down when women were told you can be just like a man. Biblically speaking women have a role in shaping morality and rasing a family. Most women I know view motherhood as degrading. Well, this is one of many consequences of the breakdown.

That's exactly what I was going to post! It started when mothers left the home to work instead of being there with the kids. Being a mom is not degrading, it's the most important job there is! Shaping the future. Yet women were tricked out of that job by being told they need to compete with men and prove they can do what a man can do. But it actually made women's lives harder. Now women have to work 8 hours AND try to take care of the kids, whereas before, they only needed to take care of the kids. Yet most women seem to think it's better this way. With them working and raising kids. Crazy. God knew what He was doing. He designed the family to have one to be the provider and one to take care of the kids. If both work no one is taking care of the kids and if both stay home with the kids no one is being the provider. Someone has to work and someone has to be home with the kids. He designed the woman to be the nurturer raising the kids and the man to go out and provide for the family. That's why men have more muscles and women have more fat to carry babies and nuture babies through breastfeeding. One job is not better than the other. You can't have two left hands or two right hands. You need a right and a left. But women got convinced that it was "better" to try to be like a man and moved out of position and messed the whole program up. Then men no longer felt needed so they felt it was okay to leave and next thing you know the whole wheel is broken. Now women have to work like a dog and try to raise kids as a single parent. As a result the kids are being raised by school, and by the streets because the single parent is too tired to spend time with the kids after working 8 hours. She's out of energy and patience. And the kids know it and just do what they want to do.

 

[Skye1300]

That's also why a lot of marriages became strained too. The woman didn't want to do the housework because she also worked 8 hours so they argue over who's going to do what. Both are tired and frustrated and out of patience. But us women know in the end it always falls on us to do everything, so why women wanted to take on more work by working outside the home to try to prove something is beyond me. Now we have no choice, now women HAVE to work because wages are set up so that it takes two parents working to afford things. In the past men used to get a high enough wage to cover being the only source of income in the home. But once women started working, most jobs lowered the man's wages since he now has a wife who's also working. Now it's set up so that both have to work to make the same that the husband used to make as the only source of income. So now single parents are in poverty even after working 8 hours AND trying to raise kids. Should have left it the way it was before with only the husband working.
Women's lib back then was like transgenderism is today. Women wanted to be like a man instead of staying like a woman. And look how that turned out. Nothing good comes out of messing with God's design.

 

[wendykvw]

That's also why a lot of marriages became strained too. The woman didn't want to do the housework because she also worked 8 hours so they argue over who's going to do what. Both are tired and frustrated and out of patience. But us women know in the end it always falls on us to do everything, so why women wanted to take on more work by working outside the home to try to prove something is beyond me. Now we have no choice, now women HAVE to work because wages are set up so that it takes two parents working to afford things. In the past men used to get a high enough wage to cover being the only source of income in the home. But once women started working, most jobs lowered the man's wages since he now has a wife who's also working. Now it's set up so that both have to work to make the same that the husband used to make as the only source of income. So now single parents are in poverty even after working 8 hours AND trying to raise kids. Should have left it the way it was before with only the husband working.
Women's lib back then was like transgenderism is today. Women wanted to be like a man instead of staying like a woman. And look how that turned out. Nothing good comes out of messing with God's design.

Amen. Exactly. It is actually very rare to find women these days who understand what you and I believe. Christian women in fact!

 

[wendykvw]

That's exactly what I was going to post! It started when mothers left the home to work instead of being there with the kids. Being a mom is not degrading, it's the most important job there is! Shaping the future. Yet women were tricked out of that job by being told they need to compete with men and prove they can do what a man can do. But it actually made women's lives harder. Now women have to work 8 hours AND try to take care of the kids, whereas before, they only needed to take care of the kids. Yet most women seem to think it's better this way. With them working and raising kids. Crazy. God knew what He was doing. He designed the family to have one to be the provider and one to take care of the kids. If both work no one is taking care of the kids and if both stay home with the kids no one is being the provider. Someone has to work and someone has to be home with the kids. He designed the woman to be the nurturer raising the kids and the man to go out and provide for the family. That's why men have more muscles and women have more fat to carry babies and nuture babies through breastfeeding. One job is not better than the other. You can't have two left hands or two right hands. You need a right and a left. But women got convinced that it was "better" to try to be like a man and moved out of position and messed the whole program up. Then men no longer felt needed so they felt it was okay to leave and next thing you know the whole wheel is broken. Now women have to work like a dog and try to raise kids as a single parent. As a result the kids are being raised by school, and by the streets because the single parent is too tired to spend time with the kids after working 8 hours. She's out of energy and patience. And the kids know it and just do what they want to do.

There is a culprit behind this programing. Two actually. But the main culprit is the evil serpent.

 

[iarwain]

There is a culprit behind this programing. Two actually. But the main culprit is the evil serpent.

Interesting thought. First the serpent told the woman (who told the man) they could be like God. Then the serpent told the woman she could be like man. And now days the serpent is telling men that they can be women.

 

[Paidiske]

Amazing how quickly "where are the parents?" turned into slamming mothers. Nobody ever seems to think it might be bad for fathers to be basically absent due to work. (Or indeed due to domestic violence as a leading cause of relationship breakdown...)

Here's the thing; the dad-goes-out-to-work, mum-stays-home, nuclear-family model is historically an anomaly, and really, really modern. It's not "God's design." It's a product of the industrial revolution. Before that, homes were generally multi-generational, home and work were much more integrated, most everyone worked in raising food or small cottage industries, and domestic labour was also shared. (If we look at how Jesus would have grown up, Joseph's carpenter's workshop would have been in the front room of the family home, and Mary would have had an active role in helping run the business; and there may well have been extended family in the same home to share the load of various tasks).

If you want to critique modern employment situations, economic constructs, and so forth, by all means go for it (although I suspect we also need to look at trauma, violence, inter-generational disadvantage, and so on); but making it all about how evil women are for wanting to use their gifts, develop their potential, make a contribution and be involved in society alongside mothering, comes across as an incredibly short-sighted take on it all.

(Said by the working-from-home mother who's writing this on a lunch break, while sharing parenting with a working-from home father, while we're together nursing a sick kid who's home from school, because, you know, there's more than one way to combine family and working life well).

 

[wendykvw]

Amazing how quickly "where are the parents?" turned into slamming mothers. Nobody ever seems to think it might be bad for fathers to be basically absent due to work. (Or indeed due to domestic violence as a leading cause of relationship breakdown...)

Here's the thing; the dad-goes-out-to-work, mum-stays-home, nuclear-family model is historically an anomaly, and really, really modern. It's not "God's design." It's a product of the industrial revolution. Before that, homes were generally multi-generational, home and work were much more integrated, most everyone worked in raising food or small cottage industries, and domestic labour was also shared. (If we look at how Jesus would have grown up, Joseph's carpenter's workshop would have been in the front room of the family home, and Mary would have had an active role in helping run the business; and there may well have been extended family in the same home to share the load of various tasks).

If you want to critique modern employment situations, economic constructs, and so forth, by all means go for it (although I suspect we also need to look at trauma, violence, inter-generational disadvantage, and so on); but making it all about how evil women are for wanting to use their gifts, develop their potential, make a contribution and be involved in society alongside mothering, comes across as an incredibly short-sighted take on it all.

(Said by the working-from-home mother who's writing this on a lunch break, while sharing parenting with a working-from home father, while we're together nursing a sick kid who's home from school, because, you know, there's more than one way to combine family and working life well).

First of all I am not slamming mothers. I came from three generations of working mothers. I saw the pressure of all three generational lines from the 1920s to the 1960s. Unfortunately using their gifts was not the issue. Having to put career over family was the issue. My advice to women and my own 30 yr. old daughter is make a choice career or family. Children deserve two parents, one parent at home with full attention to home and family is ideal. I don’t need to bring the Bible or religion into, it is just a fact that children should be raised by two parents who love each other and care for them, not anyone else. It is the responsibility of both father and mother. I have been married for close to 40 yrs. Not once have I needed to make a choice between a position at an employer over my children. My husband and I went without to make sure our family had all their needs met. It was a conscience decision on my part to leave a career. Family was my priority. So many mothers who work end up with teenage pregnancy, mainly because they have little time to supervise what their teens are up too. Unfortunately many women of faith have been brain washed into believing they must fit in with social norms and have a career. So when some one says where are the parents, the answer most likely is at work.

 

[Paidiske]

Children deserve two parents, one parent at home with full attention to home and family is ideal.

Why? Why is sharing parenting not ideal, rather than expecting one parent to sacrifice everything else in life?

It is the responsibility of both father and mother.

Indeed. So let's not pile it all on mothers.

Not once have I needed to make a choice between a position at an employer over my children.

Neither have I. Largely because my husband is an involved and engaged parent.

So when some one says where are the parents, the answer most likely is at work.

Really? You think these kids come from otherwise healthy homes where both parents work? Because when I look around, what I see is that kids with these problems typically come from homes where parents are dealing with violence, addiction, crime and its aftermath, and so on. They're not committing violent crimes at a young age because everything else is peachy.

 

[wendykvw]

Why? Why is sharing parenting not ideal, rather than expecting one parent to sacrifice everything else in life?



Indeed. So let's not pile it all on mothers.



Neither have I. Largely because my husband is an involved and engaged parent.



Really? You think these kids come from otherwise healthy homes where both parents work? Because when I look around, what I see is that kids with these problems typically come from homes where parents are dealing with violence, addiction, crime and its aftermath, and so on. They're not committing violent crimes at a young age because everything else is peachy.

It was not a sacrifice to raise my children, it was an honor from God. The sacrifice I refer to was monetary. We had one car instead of two, limited clothes for myself and husband and so on.

I worked in pre-school education in the 1980s and 1990s mother guilt was extremely high. I am sure it is still high, women instinctively know in their heart their children need them during their most formative years. Societal norms reject the idea of women raising their children. There is a whole lot more to this story, but I will stop here. Everyone is entitled to their own paradigm.

 

[wendykvw]

Really? You think these kids come from otherwise healthy homes where both parents work? Because when I look around, what I see is that kids with these problems typically come from homes where parents are dealing with violence, addiction, crime and its aftermath, and so on. They're not committing violent crimes at a young age because everything else is peachy.

Children or teens left alone when parents are at work can get into all kinds of trouble. No matter how peachy things are at home. I know, I was such teen who put myself in bad situations, my mother was always working. She had a high position and worked long hours. Father the same. I was left alone for many hours. Kids do things not because they are bad, mainly they are out getting into trouble because they lack parental supervision. Really it’s that simple.

 

[Paidiske]

It was not a sacrifice to raise my children, it was an honor from God.

Well, I'll say that in my experience motherhood comes with all kinds of sacrifices. Some we might be prepared to pay, but if I had been forced to give up any work as well, that certainly would have been an enormous sacrifice, in all sorts of ways. (My mental health, for a start).

women instinctively know in their heart their children need them during their most formative years.

What I'm challenging is the idea that this means women can't work. For example, for some years before my daughter went to school, my husband and I worked three days a week each. Our daughter formed fantastic bonds with both of us. No formal childcare needed, and no neglect.

Everyone is entitled to their own paradigm.

Sure. It'd just be great if we didn't have some Christians accusing others of - what was it? Being deceived by the serpent? - for doing things differently.

Kids do thing not because they are bad, mainly they are out getting into trouble because they lack parental supervision.

I'm not saying kids are bad. But I'm very strongly doubting the idea that kids from otherwise great homes go out and commit violent crime such as is described in the OP out of boredom when their parents are working. There's more going on there than just a lack of supervision.

 

[wendykvw]

Well, I'll say that in my experience motherhood comes with all kinds of sacrifices. Some we might be prepared to pay, but if I had been forced to give up any work as well, that certainly would have been an enormous sacrifice, in all sorts of ways. (My mental health, for a start).



What I'm challenging is the idea that this means women can't work. For example, for some years before my daughter went to school, my husband and I worked three days a week each. Our daughter formed fantastic bonds with both of us. No formal childcare needed, and no neglect.



Sure. It'd just be great if we didn't have some Christians accusing others of - what was it? Being deceived by the serpent? - for doing things differently.



I'm not saying kids are bad. But I'm very strongly doubting the idea that kids from otherwise great homes go out and commit violent crime such as is described in the OP out of boredom when their parents are working. There's more going on there than just a lack of supervision.

I suspect this topic hits a nerve for working moms.

The idea for women to go to work was propagated by Hitler. The motive was to get women out of the home and working in order for the public school system to indoctrinate their children. It originated with the serpent.

Well, I'll say that in my experience motherhood comes with all kinds of sacrifices. Some we might be prepared to pay, but if I had been forced to give up any work as well, that certainly would have been an enormous sacrifice, in all sorts of ways. (My mental health, for a start).



What I'm challenging is the idea that this means women can't work. For example, for some years before my daughter went to school, my husband and I worked three days a week each. Our daughter formed fantastic bonds with both of us. No formal childcare needed, and no neglect.



Sure. It'd just be great if we didn't have some Christians accusing others of - what was it? Being deceived by the serpent? - for doing things differently.



I'm not saying kids are bad. But I'm very strongly doubting the idea that kids from otherwise great homes go out and commit violent crime such as is described in the OP out of boredom when their parents are working. There's more going on there than just a lack of supervision.

While your situation may work splendidly this is not the case for every family. I confess, I don’t understand how full time motherhood would cause mental health problems.


You could be right, there may be more to the story. I suspect lack of parental supervision and good ole fashioned motherly care.

The serpent has been leading women and men away from God and His perfect plan for both marriage and children for thousands of years. Government run schools and social norms have indoctrinated people now far more than the ideal and principles of God. From teen pregnancy to abortion. If you can’t see the attack and the break down of the family, I am not sure what anyone could say to convince you that the real enemy is the serpent.

 

[Paidiske]

I suspect this topic hits a nerve for working moms.

When we're accused of being led by the serpent, I can't imagine why that would hit a nerve.

The idea for women to go to work was invented by Hitler.

This is historical nonsense. Women have always worked; what has changed is the patterns of work (that is, work has largely moved away from the home), not that women do it. Being able to not work was a luxury for the very wealthy.

While your situation may work splendidly this is not the case for every family.

What I'm objecting to is the slander of all working mothers, rather than allowing that many may have situations which work splendidly.

I confess, I don’t understand how full time motherhood would cause mental health problems.

I found being at home full time with a small child led to profound depression. Once I went back to work - one day a week, initially - that was the single best remedy for my depression.

Is that true for everyone? No. Of course not. But let's give parents the latitude to work out what works best for their household without broad-brush attacks.

If you can’t see the attack and the break down of the family, I am not sure what anyone could say to convince you that the real enemy is the serpent.

Teen pregnancy and abortion have always been there. In recent history I mostly see improvement. My grandmother, like many in her generation, was trapped in a domestic abuse situation because she didn't have the education or skills to support herself. My mother, like many in her generation, was trapped in work which took an enormous physical toll on her because she didn't have the education or support to pursue better options. More women in my generation have the opportunities, the education, and the support to avoid those situations. And to have that while in vibrant, happy, mutually supportive marriages and raising healthy, loving, joyful, children.

Attack? I see progress. And hope. To me the attack is anyone saying Christian women must go back to being like my grandmother; trapped in an abusive marriage, producing more babies than they can manage (my grandmother had eight and gave two up for adoption), dependent, helpless and vulnerable. By the grace of God we can do so much better.

 

[wendykvw]

When we're accused of being led by the serpent, I can't imagine why that would hit a nerve.



This is historical nonsense. Women have always worked; what has changed is the patterns of work (that is, work has largely moved away from the home), not that women do it. Being able to not work was a luxury for the very wealthy.



What I'm objecting to is the slander of all working mothers, rather than allowing that many may have situations which work splendidly.



I found being at home full time with a small child led to profound depression. Once I went back to work - one day a week, initially - that was the single best remedy for my depression.

Is that true for everyone? No. Of course not. But let's give parents the latitude to work out what works best for their household without broad-brush attacks.



Teen pregnancy and abortion have always been there. In recent history I mostly see improvement. My grandmother, like many in her generation, was trapped in a domestic abuse situation because she didn't have the education or skills to support herself. My mother, like many in her generation, was trapped in work which took an enormous physical toll on her because she didn't have the education or support to pursue better options. More women in my generation have the opportunities, the education, and the support to avoid those situations. And to have that while in vibrant, happy, mutually supportive marriages and raising healthy, loving, joyful, children.

Attack? I see progress. And hope. To me the attack is anyone saying Christian women must go back to being like my grandmother; trapped in an abusive marriage, producing more babies than they can manage (my grandmother had eight and gave two up for adoption), dependent, helpless and vulnerable. By the grace of God we can do so much better.

This thread is not about you or your parenting skills. It is truly about an article, and contemplating what went wrong with the kids.

As far as I know your grandmother isn’t part of the conversation. The op is about the article and why kids behave the way they do. I stand by my conviction that something is very wrong with parental supervision. Most likely an absent mother, or father or both. With the majority of mothers working. Likely a teen Mom not prepared for the responsibility of a child. Another epidemic in the world. Biblically speaking women have been the gate keepers. From my perspective as a women, mom, grandmother and person of faith, the culprit of the breakdown of the family is the serpent. In more ways than one.

 

[Paidiske]

This thread is not about you or your parenting skills.

When we see posts that attack all working mothers, I think it's reasonable for a critique of that position to be offered. The problem here is not working mothers; certainly not in isolation from other massive social issues. (If it were, all children of working mothers would be criminally violent, but since they demonstrably are not, there are other factors in play).

And actually, personal history is relevant to the conversation. Because it helps us to reflect on whether universal claims actually hold up to human experience.

 

[trophy33]

That's also why a lot of marriages became strained too. The woman didn't want to do the housework because she also worked 8 hours so they argue over who's going to do what. Both are tired and frustrated and out of patience. But us women know in the end it always falls on us to do everything, so why women wanted to take on more work by working outside the home to try to prove something is beyond me. Now we have no choice, now women HAVE to work because wages are set up so that it takes two parents working to afford things. In the past men used to get a high enough wage to cover being the only source of income in the home. But once women started working, most jobs lowered the man's wages since he now has a wife who's also working. Now it's set up so that both have to work to make the same that the husband used to make as the only source of income. So now single parents are in poverty even after working 8 hours AND trying to raise kids. Should have left it the way it was before with only the husband working.
Women's lib back then was like transgenderism is today. Women wanted to be like a man instead of staying like a woman. And look how that turned out. Nothing good comes out of messing with God's design.

Its sad that very few young western women get this information in time.

When they find out, they are already damaged, both mentally and physically. And the promised empowering happiness - nowhere. The only part of the society that profits from it are companies - more cheaper employees.

 

[Skye1300]

I suspect this topic hits a nerve for working moms.

The idea for women to go to work was propagated by Hitler. The motive was to get women out of the home and working in order for the public school system to indoctrinate their children. It originated with the serpent.

Wow, I never knew that. Makes perfect sense though.

serpent has been leading women and men away from God and His perfect plan for both marriage and children for thousands of years. Government run schools and social norms have indoctrinated people now far more than the ideal and principles of God. From teen pregnancy to abortion. If you can’t see the attack and the break down of the family, I am not sure what anyone could say to convince you that the real enemy is the serpent.

Amen! Exactly!