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The Babylonian Bee Gives Us the Skinny on the Nashville Statement...

Discussion in 'Current News & Events' started by St_Worm2, Sep 4, 2017.

  1. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Senior Member Supporter

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    [​IMG]

    If you’ve come within fifty miles of Twitter or Facebook this week, you’ve probably heard about a mysterious new document called the “Nashville Statement.” Depending on which crowd you run with, you probably think it’s either a 67th book being added to the canon of Scripture, or else a modern, revised version of Mein Kampf. But unlike the unwashed masses on your social networks, you’re a smart person, and so you came to The Babylon Bee to get the story straight.

    So here they are: just the facts about the Nashville Statement.

    What does the Nashville Statement say?
    It says some really controversial stuff for Bible-believing Christians, like that God made Adam and Eve as (trigger warning) male and female, that marriage was created by God to be the union between one man and one woman, that He loves people with gender dysphoria and same-sex attraction even if He doesn’t approve of all of their actions, and that He offers His grace and mercy to sinners of all stripes.

    Who has signed the Nashville Statement?
    A whole mob of fringe, hate-filled bigots with zero credibility, such as John Piper, J.I. Packer, Mark Dever, R.C. Sproul, John MacArthur, Al Mohler, Russell Moore, Francis Chan, and Matt Chandler. Just look at that list of theological lightweights—couldn’t they at least have gotten some people who’ve proven themselves as faithful witnesses of Christ?

    Who has come out in opposition to the Statement?
    A bunch of folks who believed everything it says just a couple years ago.

    What is their main argument in opposition to the Statement?
    That those supporting the Nashville Statement are not doing so because they believe the Word of God, but because they are homophobic, neo-nazi white supremacists who worship Donald Trump—which makes sense, as long as you don’t think about it for longer than about three seconds.

    How should I respond to the Nashville Statement?
    You could start up a hashtag-based movement telling people to abandon the faith because the Bible doesn’t line up with their personal feelings, or you could launch into a 500-tweet-long rant about the Statement so that everyone knows how sensitive and caring you are. If you really want to effect social change, you could even change your profile overlay to a rainbow flag or #RESIST image macro for the next week or so. BUT, whatever you do, above all else, definitely do not read the Statement and actually attempt to honestly engage with its claims. That way, madness lives.

    The Bee Explains: What Is The Nashville Statement?

    The Nashville Statement
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2017
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  2. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    A most brilliant summarization, sir.

    Thank you.
     
  3. sdowney717

    sdowney717 Newbie

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    Ahh, the great apostasy, the mystery of iniquity works its thing.

    2 Thessalonians 2:7
    For the mystery of lawlessness is already at work; only He who now restrains will do so until He is taken out of the way.

    James 3:6
    And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell.
     
  4. CrystalDragon

    CrystalDragon Well-Known Member

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    Same sex attraction isn't sinful, actions were.


    Thanks for the info though.
     
  5. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Senior Member Supporter

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    Just to be clear, this and every other article at the Babylon Bee website is satirical (sometimes with a bit of truth mixed in, however, in this case, quite a bit I'd say). Still, it is intended to be humorous :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2017
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  6. HighwayMan

    HighwayMan Well-Known Member

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    ...and also, whatever you do, do not attempt to read the entire Bible to get a more
    nuanced view on what are complex issues; instead continue acting as if 95 % of the Bible talks about sexual matters, and demonize anyone who does not fully agree with you.
     
  7. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    LOL! No i didn't.

    ^_^
     
  8. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Senior Member Supporter

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    Definitely more hard-hitting than most of their articles are. They are normally like that "Help for Off-Key Singers" article I posted earlier here on the Current News & Events board.
     
  9. brinny

    brinny everlovin' shiner of light in dark places Supporter

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    It was a very helpful summarization for me, even if it was meant to be satirical and humorous.

    Thank you. :)
     
  10. St_Worm2

    St_Worm2 Senior Member Supporter

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    You're welcome! There was a lot of truth there, obviously. The humor, in this case, was used to help make their points, which apparently worked pretty well.
     
    Last edited: Sep 6, 2017
  11. redleghunter

    redleghunter Abide Boldy my friend Supporter

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    ^_^
     
  12. jimmyjimmy

    jimmyjimmy Pardoned Rebel Supporter

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    When God's truth confronts our error, we have two choices. We allow it to change us, or we change it.

    Much of Protestant Liberalism has taken to the latter.
     
  13. jimmyjimmy

    jimmyjimmy Pardoned Rebel Supporter

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    Sure, and a married man's attraction for his neighbor's wife isn't sinful either.


    "God gave them up to dishonorable passions."
     
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