Terminal and scared

[GOD Shines Forth!]

All I can do is offer my experience. 3 years ago I had colon cancer surgery. They did not want to do it as they were afraid my heart would stop as I have Art. Fib. I said go ahead, if anything happens, I'm at the right place. I woke up 2 months later and was informed I had been on a ventilator for 2 months, in a coma, for respiratory failure. My heart had never quite. What I remembered when I woke up was a dream I'd had. I had been in a room full of water, to the ceiling, and I was trapped in a very thick net from which I was struggling with all my might to tear myself out of and I could not breathe. All of a sudden I just stopped struggling and I said--"OK, Lord, whatever you want, whatever you want."--Immediately I felt as though God had wrapped His arms around me, I was engulfed in a total peace like I have never known. It was amazing and I was so relaxed and then everything went black.
It was wonderful. I've longed to be back in those arms many times. I struggled to learn how to do everything again and finally, after a month, was able to get back into my wheelchair and go home.
A year later my husband died after a 2 month battle but He gave His heart to the Lord and he was not afraid. He died in my arms.
I've had God answer many prayers while I've struggled to keep going. I almost lost my home, I was angry and afraid, but again, I said "whatever you want Lord." I was given a loan that the only stipulation is I must live in my home for 5 yearts, then the loan does not have to be paid back! That cut my mortgage payment in half. It's been a bit of a struggle, but I have managed to keep going and have started to pay my tithe again. He has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I have only my social security to live on--no savings at all. I did have to give my beloved Siberian Husky up, but God took care of every prayer I had for Him and he has the best home possible.
However, my doctor refused to give me pain meds for several issues and as I withdrew from my Tramadol, my B/P would spike very high when the pain struck, he still would not help me. I ended up in the ER, the cardiologist said that the B/P spikes had damaged my heart, I'd had an MI. Nothing can be done as I am a no code for this had been the 2nd time I'd gone into respiratory failure during surgery and it is agreed that I can not survive another surgery. Nothing to do but send me home under Hospice---which was a HUGE blessing. At least I was able to get the pain meds I need now! My B/P's have been OK since then.
I don't know how long I've got, nobody does. I have until Aug. 14, 2023 for my loan to become non-payable. My home is to go to my church and 2 nieces when I go so I am praying that I live till then, but no one has lived longer than 2 years on Hospice, and that was rare. Basically, I have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel!---I am not afraid. I know what peace awaits me. I have prayed that as I go in His arms I will be able to see His face, for no man can live who sees His face, but since I'm dying---why not?! I will just gently go to sleep and the next thing I will know I will be awakened by Jesus at His return.
I pray to last until the date needed---but I know I can go any minute. It is up to God. He doesn't need the money, but the church could use it and my nieces also. I am grateful to God for evrything He has done for me over the years. I have no complains about my lifre, God's been there even during my backsliding and my refusal to call Him my Lord and master. It took Him almost 30 years toi get me back, and He still stayed with with a couple of backsloidings. He has been faithful throughout my faithlessness. I am filled with gratitute for His love and patience and forgiveness. Therre is nothing to be afraid of and the Hospice people keep my pain under control.
Sorry it's so long, I tried to condense it!

You blessed me immensely through sharing this. God bless you, and keep you and make His face to shine upon you! He IS faithful, and He is kind in all His works

 

[Stephanie7]

I pray that you will find comfort in God. " And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will keep your hearts and minds quiet and at rest through Jesus Christ, Philippians 4:7
Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried or upset; do not be afraid. John 14:27

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed Deuteronomy 31:8

Heavenly Father, thank You for being a God of love and mercy. I pray for that loving mercy to be upon this one First of all my prayer is that You would become known to this one, so they can draw close to You in times of need. I call for that closeness. Take away fear and give hope, even now, for scripture says that things impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:27 Healing is still possible unto you, according to thy Will. I pray that You will remove the fear and grant continued peace and love in whatever way You choose, bless this one, In Jesus Name, Amen

 

[musicalpilgrim]

I pray that you will find comfort in God. " And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will keep your hearts and minds quiet and at rest through Jesus Christ, Philippians 4:7
Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried or upset; do not be afraid. John 14:27

It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed Deuteronomy 31:8

Heavenly Father, thank You for being a God of love and mercy. I pray for that loving mercy to be upon this one First of all my prayer is that You would become known to this one, so they can draw close to You in times of need. I call for that closeness. Take away fear and give hope, even now, for scripture says that things impossible with men are possible with God. Luke 18:27 Healing is still possible unto you, according to thy Will. I pray that You will remove the fear and grant continued peace and love in whatever way You choose, bless this one, In Jesus Name, Amen

I join in this wonderful prayer, may the Lord bless you richly with his wonderful presence and peace.