Switched Phones. Feel Lonelier Than Ever

[EnterLight]

So, about a week ago I downgraded from an iPhone smartphone to a basic phone T9 keyboard and all! It drastically improved my mental health almost instantaneously. I feel lonelier than ever though. It's worth noting that I quit social media completely years ago as well.

The dilemma is no one calls, texts me I've actually lost very close friends last year because I just got feed up that every time we spent time together they had to post what we do on social media, do live videos or just in general the constant scrolling on a phone when doing anything together!

I've also recently lost friends who just refuse to call or want to talk on the phone or visit. Seems to always be some excuse. All I really want is to have quality and intimate honest relationships. This is really bothering me though. Anyone dealt with something similar?

+ wanted to add. I have tons of hobbies as well. So its not like I just wait around for people to talk to every second of the day. I play multiple instruments. Drums, bass guitar, lead guitar. I read, Nintendo switch I play games on sometimes. Watch my animated sitcoms. Listen to music. And I'm comfortable in my own presence, my own best friend.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

So, about a week ago I downgraded from an iPhone smartphone to a basic phone T9 keyboard and all! It drastically improved my mental health almost instantaneously. I feel lonelier than ever though. It's worth noting that I quit social media completely years ago as well.

The dilemma is no one calls, texts me I've actually lost very close friends last year because I just got feed up that every time we spent time together they had to post what we do on social media, do live videos or just in general the constant scrolling on a phone when doing anything together!

I've also recently lost friends who just refuse to call or want to talk on the phone or visit. Seems to always be some excuse. All I really want is to have quality and intimate honest relationships. This is really bothering me though. Anyone dealt with something similar?

+ wanted to add. I have tons of hobbies as well. So its not like I just wait around for people to talk to every second of the day. I play multiple instruments. Drums, bass guitar, lead guitar. I read, Nintendo switch I play games on sometimes. Watch my animated sitcoms. Listen to music. And I'm comfortable in my own presence, my own best friend.

It could be just the pandemic but people are very to themselves, I've found that I can socialize mostly through the internet, I play video games with people and chat via discord, so I would say finding a way to socialize electronically like discord you can access on your laptop and there are discords for all kinds of topics ie christianity and video games and hobbies and youtube channels. I've done the cold turkey thing before but it can be tough you can do it tho

 

[EnterLight]

It could be just the pandemic but people are very to themselves, I've found that I can socialize mostly through the internet, I play video games with people and chat via discord, so I would say finding a way to socialize electronically like discord you can access on your laptop and there are discords for all kinds of topics ie christianity and video games and hobbies and youtube channels. I've done the cold turkey thing before but it can be tough you can do it tho

I guess more so the issue is I don't want to communicate through the internet constantly with everyone. This was also an issue before the pandemic though.

I also have a discord and a friend ill game/talk with maybe every couple months. I'm not really interested in gaming much anymore, could just be because of aging. When I do game its primarily solo.

I've even used to twitch stream, play with other streamers. And also do like an old school ham radio app where you just talk to random people. All of it doesn't provide that connection of face to face.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I guess more so the issue is I don't want to communicate through the internet constantly with everyone. This was also an issue before the pandemic though.

I also have a discord and a friend ill game/talk with maybe every couple months. I'm not really interested in gaming much anymore, could just be because of aging. When I do game its primarily solo.

I've even used to twitch stream, play with other streamers. And also do like an old school ham radio app where you just talk to random people. All of it doesn't provide that connection of face to face.

I hear you, but asking for face to face contact during the pandemic is difficult, but pray about it maybe Jesus will send people in your life, maybe volunteering somewhere will force people to interact with and be around you and you may meet people that way.

 

[Sabertooth]

@EnterLight, do you have a church that you go to?

 

[EnterLight]

@EnterLight, do you have a church that you go to?

No haven't been to a church in years. Usually I watch sermons on youtube.

 

[Sabertooth]

No haven't been to a church in years.

It is the most likely reason why you feel so lonely.
(Godly companions are not just going to spring up in your basement...)

 

[EnterLight]

It is the most likely reason why you feel so lonely.
(Godly companions are not just going to spring up in your basement...)

Very unhelpful and rude comment.

 

[Cormack]

Do you have a satisfying career, @EnterLight? Job satisfaction can do wonders for most people and curtail internet usage at the same time.

Other than that, congratulations for slaying the monster of social media (or at least wounding her.)

See you in the real world!

 

[1watchman]

Yes, you would find fellowship and good friends in a sound Church assembly. We all need to seek Godly friends!

-1watchman

 

[look4hope]

@EnterLight
Can’t blame you for cutting ties with social media. I’ve tried to but I have fam across the oceans so keeping in touch through some social media is almost necessary (at least it feels that way).
Pandemic and the obsession of posting every move for strangers to watch has made life impossible to manage. The norm has totally change drastically.

I feel it as well- the lack of human communication...person to person. I prefer face to face conversations etc.
don’t think you’ve caused this.

 

[Alistair_Wonderland]

It is the most likely reason why you feel so lonely.
(Godly companions are not just going to spring up in your basement...)

I've been going to church all my life, even when the rest of my family stopped. I still deal with lots of loneliness because the people in church generally only get involved in surface-level relationships. I get it, they have their own stuff to deal with, but I'm just saying, going to church doesn't mean you'll find friends. Especially if you're a young adult; most churches I go to are all middle-aged to old people and little kids. Very few people even slightly within my own age range.

Also, I know Godly companions won't spring up from the basement. The last few people I discovered living down there were atheists.

 

[Sabertooth]

@Alistair_Wonderland, even if you stay at that church, others may have singles' groups during the week...

 

[bèlla]

@Alistair_Wonderland, even if you stay at that church, others may have singles' groups during the week...

Connecting with likeminded believers in a small group is best if friendship is the desired outcome. There’s more turnover with singles and the likelihood of continuance when partnered (as the relationship grows in seriousness) is slim to none.