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Suitable punishment for 5 year old

Discussion in 'Families' started by Nashville Bobcat, Sep 14, 2018.

  1. Nashville Bobcat

    Nashville Bobcat New Member

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    Hello friends, my 5 year old got into a lot of trouble at school today (its a friday). he is already grounded to his room for the rest of the night and we have cancelled going to a friends birthday party on sunday. no screens for 2 weeks.

    my question is, how long do you think is a suitable punishment for a 5 year old. obviously we want to correct this behavior before it starts getting out of hand.

    thanks for your input. God Bless
     
  2. HTacianas

    HTacianas Well-Known Member

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    I would have to know what he did. I don't mean to get personal.
     
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  3. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +10,930
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    Some pupils have gotten in trouble for asking questions when they did nothing wrong.
    Jesus Himself got in trouble for preaching the Truth.
    Many doctors and ceo's of pharmacy have gotten in trouble (even executed/ assassinated) for telling the truth in the usa about healing people.
     
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  4. Nashville Bobcat

    Nashville Bobcat New Member

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    my son threw his glasses up into a tree. then the teacher said they were so far up there that it was a big ordeal to get them down. then he got put in time out and just stood there spitting in his hands. (yes i found this just as bizarre as you) so the teacher asked him why he was spitting in his hands and he said he was throwing up. so the teacher told him that there was no throw up in the spit. then he said he was mad about being in time out.

    i realize that this my sound more bizarre than bad but he goes to a private school and they dont play around with behavior like this, and he knows it. i have also told him several times to be careful with his glasses and not to throw them.
     
  5. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +10,930
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    From only what is posted, I don't believe he should have been punished at all.
    (the punishment by the teacher and later may likely only increase the problem, which is not yet known).
    Potentially also, he was simply seeking attention (for whatever one or many reasons).
     
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  6. HTacianas

    HTacianas Well-Known Member

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    I sympathize with you regarding your son's school. Our children have no idea what it's like when we have to be the one explaining their behavior to the school.

    I remember when my son was that age. Whenever he did, or didn't, do something to get in trouble I would sit down and stand him in front of me and make him explain why he did it. And i would not let it go until he did. No matter how long it took. That's why I would sit down.

    I feel like that was the most helpful way of correcting him. It all but forced him to realize how stupid what he did was and it embarrassed him.
     
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  7. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    It would depend on what your 5 year old did. Your punishment seems a bit severe, though I don't know what you mean by "no screens."
     
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  8. Go Braves

    Go Braves I miss Senator McCain

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    IMO that's way too much for a 5 yr old, especially on account of how what he did was not malicious. Kids throw things. Now I'm not saying that what he did was right, but it's not an awful kind of wrong. Was he throwing the glasses up the tree on account of just being bored, or wanting to damage the glasses? My brother had to wear glasses as a kid. He hated them. Of course he had to keep wearing them anyway, till he was old enough for contacts. That's normal. Keep explaining to him that glasses are really important & have to be treated with a lot of care. The time out for throwing the glasses up the tree was a suitable punishment. Him spitting in his hands during the time out wasn't all that weird really. He was bored. Of course he was mad about the time out. That's a normal kid reaction. So long as he stayed put in the time out, that shouldn't be held that much against him. He may have said he was throwing up just on account of mixing up the words or something, instead of lying. I'd have just made him wash his hands then do another 5 minute time out with his hands folded. That would have been enough.

    Edited to fix a typo.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2018
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  9. Go Braves

    Go Braves I miss Senator McCain

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    Screens usually means things like iPads, Kindles, smartphones, TVs, computers. Anything that has a screen on it.
     
  10. dreadnought

    dreadnought Lip service isn't really service. Supporter

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    Thanks.
     
  11. Go Braves

    Go Braves I miss Senator McCain

    +8,902
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    You're welcome.
     
  12. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

    +8,001
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    The punishment is harsh. He has been punished at school.

    In future you ought to back up the school but let him speak to you about his feelings. He might have been spitting into his hands because of the sensory calming effect of the moisture and the feeling of it. He might not have understood it was to soothe himself. (My daughter has autism, I know a little on sensory issues. Not saying he has them but we are all calmed and stressed by sensory stimuli, touch, noises, light, etc.)

    He needs help to order his feelings still and is still making sense of the world. You can't help him in the classroom but you can help him make sense of it at home. Reinforcing what is acceptable but validating his emotions. If you are approachable and listen he will value your input in advising him and teaching him how to not get into trouble in future.

    Being overly harsh will teach him to deal with it alone. Poor thing. He didn't know when throwing his glasses up the tree what would happen after. Children are more impulsive and think differently to us. He will learn and you can keep boundaries and consequences, which they need.

    Think about how the Lord teaches us. God bless you, I can see that you care and mean well.
     
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  13. Tzav

    Tzav No fetuses were harmed by this membership. Supporter

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    Please, please, back off on your punishments! He is just a little guy! Please get a book on child care -- NOT Dobson! -- and do some reading on discipline. I do NOT mean to put you down by writing this, but seriously, this was way over Too Much!!

    Love you, love your heart. You must have intended well, but this was way too much.

    My children went to a private baptist school, and I understand the anxious feelings you stated about their being very demanding regarding deportment. But . . . oh, man. I am stunned that a 5-year-old would be made to endure this much for the school and for your fears, when the idea of discipline is to improve behavior and to teach, not to make a child merely miserable.

    Discipline = TEACH, not punish. Okay?

    I have a daughter and son, now ages 48 and 45. The best, most productive discipline I ever gave them was SHORT (short! short!) heart-to-heart talks that ENDED with my being firm that that it was over and would not be brought up again, unless and until they did the same wrong behavior again. I can imagine my son having done this when he was little. :)

    Also, parents make mistakes, too. Like the children, we are to learn from our errors and move on by disciplining ourselves but not punishing ourselves. The children deserve the same, merely adjusted for their ages.
     
  14. JAM2b

    JAM2b Newbie

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    This was an old post, but I wanted to speak about the spitting in the hands. It's not bizarre. It is reasonable considering his developmental stage and circumstances. I would never have a child in a school that was this rigid and unaccepting of developmental stages. Children at that age need patience and understanding, not rigid rules and punishment.

    He's was only five years old at the time. Kids do things that see unusual or disturbing or disgusting to adults. From the child's perspective, it was probably just boredom, anger, self-distraction from what he was feeling, and possibly attention seeking like another suggested. The fact he said he was throwing up could have been an attempt to get out of timeout, or he might have been feeling sick and was reacting to what he felt might be coming, combined with a child's imagination.
     
  15. Sam91

    Sam91 Child of the Living God Supporter

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    I believe the saliva was self soothing behaviour using sensory means. He wouldn't have understood why he was doing it. So when questioned had no answer to give. Therefore he lied because he knew he had to say something so said what he thought might be what might explain it.
     
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