Suicidal, and have bad thoughts

[ChristianNewbie123]

Hi long story short I don't think God loves me, and I think I'm going to Hell when I die D: I think about Hell often, in fact I feel like I'm having a panic attack at night sometimes when it gets bad. UGHH!!!!!!!

I'm talking to someone, getting help, so don't go all "oh why are you suicidal?" on me okay?

I'm just expressing my thoughts here. I hate this...

 

[chaoticfirefly]

Have you tried speaking to someone about it? If you're a born again Christian, you're going to be okay. Just be a good person in my opinion.

I think if these thoughts are causing panic attacks, you should speak with someone about it. Your parents or your pastor or guidance councilor. It's hard I know, but worth it. Good luck, dear.

 

[Jeshu]

Hi long story short I don't think God loves me, and I think I'm going to Hell when I die D: I think about Hell often, in fact I feel like I'm having a panic attack at night sometimes when it gets bad. UGHH!!!!!!!

I'm talking to someone, getting help, so don't go all "oh why are you suicidal?" on me okay?

I'm just expressing my thoughts here. I hate this...

To think you are going to hell is to deny the saving power of Jesus Christ this is why you are getting panic attacks and are becoming suicidal - without Jesus you haven't got a chance.

Your best course of action would be to put your trust in Jesus and to deny the thoughts that send you to hell entry into your mind.

Repeat this when those intrusive thoughts condemn you for as often as it takes:God loves me because I'm His child, God has made the way open for me to enter heaven, all I have to do is put my faith in Jesus Christ and confess Him as my Lord and Saviour.

Fight for the faith and keep denying those thoughts that condemn you.

Jesus loves you to come to Him and so do I.

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

Have you tried speaking to someone about it? If you're a born again Christian, you're going to be okay. Just be a good person in my opinion.

I think if these thoughts are causing panic attacks, you should speak with someone about it. Your parents or your pastor or guidance councilor. It's hard I know, but worth it. Good luck, dear.

I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate it so don't take this the wrong way:

I've heard all that. "Talk to your parents/pastor/whatever yeah... that'll be the day. I don't have the guts to do that.

"Be a good person" uh huh, I'm not. And I can't be. God isn't/hasn't changed me even though I asked Him (and tried to) time and time again.

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

To think you are going to hell is to deny the saving power of Jesus Christ this is why you are getting panic attacks and are becoming suicidal - without Jesus you haven't got a chance.

Your best course of action would be to put your trust in Jesus and to deny the thoughts that send you to hell entry into your mind.

Repeat this when those intrusive thoughts condemn you for as often as it takes:God loves me because I'm His child, God has made the way open for me to enter heaven, all I have to do is put my faith in Jesus Christ and confess Him as my Lord and Saviour.

Fight for the faith and keep denying those thoughts that condemn you.

Jesus loves you to come to Him and so do I.

I appreciate you trying to help, so don't take this the wrong way please:

Trusting Jesus is not easy. (DON'T SAY IT I know no one said it will be easy) Yeah, without Jesus I'm screwed, no kidding. I've tried repeating Bible verses whenever I felt that way and it helps for all of 10 seconds. -_- (DON'T SAY IT little faith I know). I just think that God hates me. I'm too much of a sinner among other things don't ask.

I'm getting help online DON'T. FREAKIN. SAY. IT. (YES I KNOW that's no substitute). I don't know if it's helping or not.

 

[Jeshu]

I appreciate you trying to help, so don't take this the wrong way please:

Trusting Jesus is not easy. (DON'T SAY IT I know no one said it will be easy) Yeah, without Jesus I'm screwed, no kidding. I've tried repeating Bible verses whenever I felt that way and it helps for all of 10 seconds. -_- (DON'T SAY IT little faith I know). I just think that God hates me. I'm too much of a sinner among other things don't ask.

I'm getting help online DON'T. FREAKIN. SAY. IT. (YES I KNOW that's no substitute). I don't know if it's helping or not.

I think that you misunderstand me. Faith in Jesus is a gift from God given to all those who ask for it. God gives faith it is not something we produce in our own strength. It are those lies you believe about God though which are in the way for faith getting through.

The Bible says that God loved us while we were still sinners, so it is not sin that stand in the way but rather the lies that we believe about God, ourselves and others.

I advise you to believe God at His Word - where He says that He loves lost sinners to be redeemed through the blood of His on Jesus Christ.

Ask for faith to believe in Him, even believing Him for ten seconds is better than not believing Him at all. When the faith ebbs away simply ask for more - keep doing that until you feel the joy of salvation running through your veins.

Be of good courage Jesus overcame sin on the cross so that everyone who turns to Him for help will not be disappointed but rather appointed as heirs of the Kingdom.

Please put your trust in Him.

 

[Krissy Cakes]

I'm praying for you and I am here if you want to talk when your ready.

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

I think that you misunderstand me. Faith in Jesus is a gift from God given to all those who ask for it. God gives faith it is not something we produce in our own strength. It are those lies you believe about God though which are in the way for faith getting through.

The Bible says that God loved us while we were still sinners, so it is not sin that stand in the way but rather the lies that we believe about God, ourselves and others.

I advise you to believe God at His Word - where He says that He loves lost sinners to be redeemed through the blood of His on Jesus Christ.

Ask for faith to believe in Him, even believing Him for ten seconds is better than not believing Him at all. When the faith ebbs away simply ask for more - keep doing that until you feel the joy of salvation running through your veins.

Be of good courage Jesus overcame sin on the cross so that everyone who turns to Him for help will not be disappointed but rather appointed as heirs of the Kingdom.

Please put your trust in Him.

I've asked many many times for God to give me faith. Not very satisfied.

 

[StillSeeking36]

I've asked many many times for God to give me faith. Not very satisfied.

Hi -- I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting so much. If you believe in Jesus, that He is the son of God, that He died and rose again for the forgiveness of sins, then you are saved (Romans 10:9-10). It's that simple. If you believe in Him, you are not going to hell. Jesus said he won't lose any of us. In the Bible, Jesus only helped the sinners. He didn't go out looking for perfect people. He found those with the most sin, the most illness, to save. We can't be perfect - that's why Jesus died for us. He bore our sin for us - we are washed clean by His blood - not by anything we do. We are saved by faith, not by works - not by what we do. When we sin (and trust me - I sin all the time), we can always ask for forgiveness. He loves us. No matter how broken we are, no matter how broken we feel, there is one truth. God created us. He loves us simply because we are His creation - we are His children. Jesus is real. Just believe in that and you'll be going to heaven. If you don't believe it, then just be open to the possibility. Maybe listen to some praise and worship music, listen to some sermons online (I like the ones here Podcast …..the meaning of emotion is a good one), read a chapter of the bible. Here's a good scripture: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 5:3). I think that's your scripture right there - the Kingdom of Heaven is ours, even when we are poor in spirit. Memorize this verse and say it in the middle of the night when you feel anxious. The scripture I have been using to deal with my depression and anxiety is: "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Tim 1:7). Fear is not from God. It is from the devil. One of the biggest lies of the devil is that God doesn't love us, and that we can't go back to Him -- that we are too sinful to go back to God. That is a lie from Satan. Satan does everything he can to get us to stop trusting in God. I'm dealing with it myself today as well. Please pray for me, and I'll pray for you too...

 

[andy b]

Your a kid get out there and have some fun,what are your mates up to get out with them and go kick a ball ....my religious knowledge sucks but im pretty sure god loves you and your not going to hell i may well be but your not

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

Hi -- I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting so much. If you believe in Jesus, that He is the son of God, that He died and rose again for the forgiveness of sins, then you are saved (Romans 10:9-10). It's that simple. If you believe in Him, you are not going to hell. Jesus said he won't lose any of us. In the Bible, Jesus only helped the sinners. He didn't go out looking for perfect people. He found those with the most sin, the most illness, to save. We can't be perfect - that's why Jesus died for us. He bore our sin for us - we are washed clean by His blood - not by anything we do. We are saved by faith, not by works - not by what we do. When we sin (and trust me - I sin all the time), we can always ask for forgiveness. He loves us. No matter how broken we are, no matter how broken we feel, there is one truth. God created us. He loves us simply because we are His creation - we are His children. Jesus is real. Just believe in that and you'll be going to heaven. If you don't believe it, then just be open to the possibility. Maybe listen to some praise and worship music, listen to some sermons online (I like the ones here Podcast …..the meaning of emotion is a good one), read a chapter of the bible. Here's a good scripture: "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven" (Matthew 5:3). I think that's your scripture right there - the Kingdom of Heaven is ours, even when we are poor in spirit. Memorize this verse and say it in the middle of the night when you feel anxious. The scripture I have been using to deal with my depression and anxiety is: "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." (2 Tim 1:7). Fear is not from God. It is from the devil. One of the biggest lies of the devil is that God doesn't love us, and that we can't go back to Him -- that we are too sinful to go back to God. That is a lie from Satan. Satan does everything he can to get us to stop trusting in God. I'm dealing with it myself today as well. Please pray for me, and I'll pray for you too...

How can you be so sure? I'm now afraid of God. I think He hates me. Again, I ask God again and again to take that away, and nothing happens. It gets worse. I read scripture, but when I try to recite something like that, I always think "no no way..." so it doesn't help.

On top of that my parents have no idea. I can look at my mom right now looking at her facebook right next to me... no idea about any of this...

Why can't I just trust God? I clearly don't.

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

Your a kid get out there and have some fun,what are your mates up to get out with them and go kick a ball ....my religious knowledge sucks but im pretty sure god loves you and your not going to hell i may well be but your not

I don't have many friends... the ones I do have I never get together with.

 

[StillSeeking36]

How can you be so sure? I'm now afraid of God. I think He hates me. Again, I ask God again and again to take that away, and nothing happens. It gets worse. I read scripture, but when I try to recite something like that, I always think "no no way..." so it doesn't help.

On top of that my parents have no idea. I can look at my mom right now looking at her facebook right next to me... no idea about any of this...

Why can't I just trust God? I clearly don't.

The best reason I can give for why I'm so sure is because Jesus is the only thing that has given me even a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of light, a glimmer of healing in my pit of depression. And it took years of trying to believe. For years it didn't feel like anything was happening, but I think I just had so many walls built up that it took a while for Jesus to break some of them down. I've been on medication, tried meditating every morning, exercise, therapy, etc etc. Those things helped a little bit, but nothing like the power of Jesus. It's not your fault that you say "no way" - it's called a stronghold. It's one of the devil's favorite things. He likes to get a stronghold, and then he won't let go. Just try to keep your heart open to the possibility, even just a little bit. It's very good that you are posting on this forum. You're definitely not alone - you have a lot of us who are here for you. Again - I know for sure because I've been there. I've been where you are, struggling to believe, feeling condemned an like God hates me. But I've learned that those are all lies of the devil, and I can say with 100% confidence that Jesus is the ONLY thing that can save me. The world is a totally messed up place, so there are problems every day. Jesus is my only hope. Every day I fight a battle, and more and more, little by little, I can see more ways that Jesus is helping me. Just hang in there- you'll start to see it too. It may feel like it's taking a long time, but if you hold on, you'll start to see it. I remember being younger. It was truly hell on earth for me. But it passed, and my life totally changed. It's hard when you're young to believe that the hard times will pass (I seriously thought the crap would never end when I was young), but hard times DO pass. When you learn more about what you like to do, you'll start finding people who like to do the same things, and you'll make friends, fall in love. These things will happen. True love is one of the most beautiful things ever. I'm so grateful that later in my life I finally found true love with my husband. And God is love. The bible says so - if God is love, how can He hate us? He can't. He only loves us.

It's really common for parents to not know what is going on with us. A lot of parents don't know what is going on with their teenagers. We can be really good at hiding it. We might not think we're good at hiding it - we might think it seems obvious, but often it's not. My husband didn't even know I was depressed for the first year of our relationship. That's how well I hid it. I don't know what your parents are like, but if you feel that they love you like crazy you could consider talking to them….but I know that can be hard...

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

The best reason I can give for why I'm so sure is because Jesus is the only thing that has given me even a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of light, a glimmer of healing in my pit of depression. And it took years of trying to believe. For years it didn't feel like anything was happening, but I think I just had so many walls built up that it took a while for Jesus to break some of them down. I've been on medication, tried meditating every morning, exercise, therapy, etc etc. Those things helped a little bit, but nothing like the power of Jesus. It's not your fault that you say "no way" - it's called a stronghold. It's one of the devil's favorite things. He likes to get a stronghold, and then he won't let go. Just try to keep your heart open to the possibility, even just a little bit. It's very good that you are posting on this forum. You're definitely not alone - you have a lot of us who are here for you. Again - I know for sure because I've been there. I've been where you are, struggling to believe, feeling condemned an like God hates me. But I've learned that those are all lies of the devil, and I can say with 100% confidence that Jesus is the ONLY thing that can save me. The world is a totally messed up place, so there are problems every day. Jesus is my only hope. Every day I fight a battle, and more and more, little by little, I can see more ways that Jesus is helping me. Just hang in there- you'll start to see it too. It may feel like it's taking a long time, but if you hold on, you'll start to see it. I remember being younger. It was truly hell on earth for me. But it passed, and my life totally changed. It's hard when you're young to believe that the hard times will pass (I seriously thought the crap would never end when I was young), but hard times DO pass. When you learn more about what you like to do, you'll start finding people who like to do the same things, and you'll make friends, fall in love. These things will happen. True love is one of the most beautiful things ever. I'm so grateful that later in my life I finally found true love with my husband. And God is love. The bible says so - if God is love, how can He hate us? He can't. He only loves us.

It's really common for parents to not know what is going on with us. A lot of parents don't know what is going on with their teenagers. We can be really good at hiding it. We might not think we're good at hiding it - we might think it seems obvious, but often it's not. My husband didn't even know I was depressed for the first year of our relationship. That's how well I hid it. I don't know what your parents are like, but if you feel that they love you like crazy you could consider talking to them….but I know that can be hard...

Every time I think God shows me something, it twists around and goes for the worst. It's a never ending loop of seemingly false hope.

Telling my parents is a problem... I don't want to just go and say "HI I'm planning on killing myself " but I can't escape an immediate talk with them which is what I DO NOT want.

I don't go out of the house at all either so it's not like I could write them a note go out, and then come back for the talking. Not gonna happen...

I'm sorry you have to deal with depression. I'm not SURE I have depression, but some people on here suspect it.

Do you think so?

 

[miss-a]

Prayers for you.

 

[StillSeeking36]

Every time I think God shows me something, it twists around and goes for the worst. It's a never ending loop of seemingly false hope.

Telling my parents is a problem... I don't want to just go and say "HI I'm planning on killing myself " but I can't escape an immediate talk with them which is what I DO NOT want.

I don't go out of the house at all either so it's not like I could write them a note go out, and then come back for the talking. Not gonna happen...

I'm sorry you have to deal with depression. I'm not SURE I have depression, but some people on here suspect it.

Do you think so?

I can't say for sure whether or not you have depression because I am not a licensed counselor, but I CAN say that whether or not you have depression, if you have suicidal thoughts, you need to get help. I have had suicidal thoughts in the past also. This is not something to brush off. It is also not your fault. If you are having those thoughts, then there is something going on with you that might be beyond your control, and you need to try to get help. I don't know where you are located, but can you look up a suicide prevention hotline and give them a call, or maybe online chat with someone at a suicide prevention hotline? Because I have depression and have had suicidal thoughts (and have self-harmed) I can tell you from experience that reaching out for help can change your life. When I started reaching out for help, I got on medication, and then got prayed over at my church, learned more about depression, and joined a healing class. Together, all of these things have made my life worth living. Praying to Jesus several times a day is critical for me also. It can actually be very freeing to learn what is going on with us, that it's not our fault, and that there are ways to make it better. Also, when you start learning more about what is going on with you (for example, if you do have depression), it also helps to learn from other people who have gone through it to see that you're not alone. And you are not alone. It's not your fault. There is help. This can get better. I think it would be a good idea if you could find someone to talk to to figure out whether you do have depression - the suicide prevention hotline might be a good place to start...

 

[StillSeeking36]

I can't say for sure whether or not you have depression because I am not a licensed counselor, but I CAN say that whether or not you have depression, if you have suicidal thoughts, you need to get help. I have had suicidal thoughts in the past also. This is not something to brush off. It is also not your fault. If you are having those thoughts, then there is something going on with you that might be beyond your control, and you need to try to get help. I don't know where you are located, but can you look up a suicide prevention hotline and give them a call, or maybe online chat with someone at a suicide prevention hotline? Because I have depression and have had suicidal thoughts (and have self-harmed) I can tell you from experience that reaching out for help can change your life. When I started reaching out for help, I got on medication, and then got prayed over at my church, learned more about depression, and joined a healing class. Together, all of these things have made my life worth living. Praying to Jesus several times a day is critical for me also. It can actually be very freeing to learn what is going on with us, that it's not our fault, and that there are ways to make it better. Also, when you start learning more about what is going on with you (for example, if you do have depression), it also helps to learn from other people who have gone through it to see that you're not alone. And you are not alone. It's not your fault. There is help. This can get better. I think it would be a good idea if you could find someone to talk to to figure out whether you do have depression - the suicide prevention hotline might be a good place to start...

I can add that although I am not a licensed counselor, I am a psychology professor, so I do have some professional understanding of these issues, although I cannot diagnose or offer therapy…and based on what I know and my personal experience, I think it could be good for you to reach out about your suicidal thoughts. I know you've said you don't want to be told to talk to someone, but maybe online chatting with a suicide prevention hotline would be ok (?). And of course there are those of us on this forum who aren't going anywhere, so you can keep reaching out to us

 

[Second Phoenix]

Hi long story short I don't think God loves me, and I think I'm going to Hell when I die D: I think about Hell often, in fact I feel like I'm having a panic attack at night sometimes when it gets bad. UGHH!!!!!!!

I'm talking to someone, getting help, so don't go all "oh why are you suicidal?" on me okay?

I'm just expressing my thoughts here. I hate this...

You may be having some minor psychological issue (we all have them) that you are looking at religiously.

Anxiety, panic attacks, and I am guessing - guilt - are rationalized by the mind in some religious way. That is to say, you may be feeling things and then trying to come up with ways of making sense of those feelings.

Talk therapy may be an answer. You can at least talk to a doctor. Abnormal feelings of anxiety and panic attacks are very common.

 

[ChristianNewbie123]

I can add that although I am not a licensed counselor, I am a psychology professor, so I do have some professional understanding of these issues, although I cannot diagnose or offer therapy…and based on what I know and my personal experience, I think it could be good for you to reach out about your suicidal thoughts. I know you've said you don't want to be told to talk to someone, but maybe online chatting with a suicide prevention hotline would be ok (?). And of course there are those of us on this forum who aren't going anywhere, so you can keep reaching out to us

I'm talking to someone on here, and a suicidal hotline I tried which didn't help much.

 

[StillSeeking36]

I'm talking to someone on here, and a suicidal hotline I tried which didn't help much.

I think it's really good that you are reaching out though. Thanks for trying the suicide hotline. Life can be a real struggle sometimes (I actually had a really rough day today) but we're all in this together. Even though life can be hard, it can also be really great. You'll get to experience that more and more as you get older - life can be so sweet, so much fun. Especially as you learn more about who you are and what your gifts are (we all have gifts we're born with - something special that we like, something we can do, something we can offer others). Nobody really talked to me about this stuff so I didn't start thinking about it until I was much older, but if you start thinking about it now, you can experience some of the good things in life much earlier than I did. What kinds of things do you like doing? Is there something you are good at, or something you want to be good at?