Stuff No One Tells You About Marriage

EmmaCat

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It's not about sex. Let me start there, ha!

There need to be RULES for husbands:

1. Leave my razors alone. You have your own.

2. I understand you're not an NBA star, but for goodness sake, you can hit the trash can when it's two feet from you.

3. Toilet seat DOWN. Lid DOWN. It keeps the cats and me from falling in.

4. Yes, the cat horked up a hairball. Stepping over it and fussing about it doesn't make it better.

5. I'm glad you enjoy my journal. I don't mind your reading it. Just put it back in the desk drawer when you're done, okay? Finding it in the bathroom was very interesting.

6. Your underwear drawer is your business. My underwear drawer is my business. This isn't hard.

7. I adore your birdhouses, and I love your creativity. Please don't leave the sawdust in the middle of our kitchen. There is an amazing tool called a vacuum cleaner here.

8. You are a cop. Stay safe, my love, and keep coming home in one piece.

I love you, Ben.

I typed this with him looking over my shoulder and laughing!

All good things
Emmy
 

EmmaCat

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He saw this, and he says, "I could have done worse."

He's laughing!

Hahahaha! He is a hoot, an absolute joy, and gosh I'm blessed!

All good things
Emmy
 
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NothingIsImpossible

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1. Leave my razors alone. You have your own.
Eww. I mean technically because razors can get blood on them you shouldn't use someone elses to begin with. My wife shaves her armpit with hers. I won't be putting that on my face lol.

2. I understand you're not an NBA star, but for goodness sake, you can hit the trash can when it's two feet from you.
lol. Maybe buy a bigger trash can. :p Though I can understand, sometimes your comfy and just don't want to get up, even when close to the can. Its why I will put my trash aside until I get up.

3. Toilet seat DOWN. Lid DOWN. It keeps the cats and me from falling in.
More importantly ALL men should know there are three golden rules when married to a woman and you have a bathroom (well ok why would you not have one lol)

1. NEVER leave the toilet seat up. Because gunk and germs can get on the toilet seat, which women have no choice but to sit on to use it.

2. ALWAYS pee with their toilet seat up, because ewwww if you don't. Then refer back to rule 1.

3. Toilet paper goes OVER the roll. Not under. I mean thats just cruel. ^_^

4. Yes, the cat horked up a hairball. Stepping over it and fussing about it doesn't make it better.
True. I'm a germ phobe so I hate picking up hairballs.... but I do if I was the one who seen it.

5. I'm glad you enjoy my journal. I don't mind your reading it. Just put it back in the desk drawer when you're done, okay? Finding it in the bathroom was very interesting.
Awkward. lol

6. Your underwear drawer is your business. My underwear drawer is my business. This isn't hard.
Ah the joys of learning to live together. Especially when you have a room thats now combined. Eventually it will work itself out.

7. I adore your birdhouses, and I love your creativity. Please don't leave the sawdust in the middle of our kitchen. There is an amazing tool called a vacuum cleaner here.
Again, clean freak here so that would drive me nuts. My wife is so creative but when she makes something there can be a mess sometimes. o_O
 
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EmmaCat

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Eww. I mean technically because razors can get blood on them you shouldn't use someone elses to begin with. My wife shaves her armpit with hers. I won't be putting that on my face lol.


lol. Maybe buy a bigger trash can. :p Though I can understand, sometimes your comfy and just don't want to get up, even when close to the can. Its why I will put my trash aside until I get up.


More importantly ALL men should know there are three golden rules when married to a woman and you have a bathroom (well ok why would you not have one lol)

1. NEVER leave the toilet seat up. Because gunk and germs can get on the toilet seat, which women have no choice but to sit on to use it.

2. ALWAYS pee with their toilet seat up, because ewwww if you don't. Then refer back to rule 1.

3. Toilet paper goes OVER the roll. Not under. I mean thats just cruel. ^_^


True. I'm a germ phobe so I hate picking up hairballs.... but I do if I was the one who seen it.


Awkward. lol


Ah the joys of learning to live together. Especially when you have a room thats now combined. Eventually it will work itself out.


Again, clean freak here so that would drive me nuts. My wife is so creative but when she makes something there can be a mess sometimes. o_O

We love you! This is great!

All good things
Emmy
 
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Moral Orel

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6. Your underwear drawer is your business. My underwear drawer is my business. This isn't hard.
In my house, they're both her business. My underwear ain't going to fold itself!

That isn't a "women are supposed to do the housework" joke.

It's an "I'm too lazy to put away my own clothes" joke.
 
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Starcrystal

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There need to be RULES for husbands:

1. Leave my razors alone. You have your own.

I've been guilty of this in the past, especially when she bought those expensive 4 blade deals.. :D

Nothingisimpossible said:
"Eww. I mean technically because razors can get blood on them you shouldn't use someone elses to begin with. My wife shaves her armpit with hers. I won't be putting that on my face lol. "

Husband and wife SHOULD be safe as far as the blood goes...but you should not use other peoples...No comment on the armpit issue other than you don't like your wifes armpits?..TMI...LOL

2. I understand you're not an NBA star, but for goodness sake, you can hit the trash can when it's two feet from you.

trash-can-5564517.jpg


3. Toilet seat DOWN. Lid DOWN. It keeps the cats and me from falling in.

I agree All men should know this one.. at a young age the decibels of a screaming woman "SEAT DOWN!" were enough to shatter eardrums (I hung out at a house with 2 brothers, 4 sisters and a Mom..enough said!)... lid down also keeps cats & dogs from drinking the toilet water... the worst by far is when the woman does not look first and EXPECTS the seat to be down, then sits on the cold porcelain.. THAT scream could either have the neighbors calling the cops or raise the dead...

4. Yes, the cat horked up a hairball. Stepping over it and fussing about it doesn't make it better.

I'd fuss more if I stepped ON it!, same with a dead mouse left as a gift from said cat....

5. I'm glad you enjoy my journal. I don't mind your reading it. Just put it back in the desk drawer when you're done, okay? Finding it in the bathroom was very interesting.

LOL

6. Your underwear drawer is your business. My underwear drawer is my business. This isn't hard.

Hmmm, never had this problem..often my wife put mine away..or I folded hers...drawers were often shared.

7. I adore your birdhouses, and I love your creativity. Please don't leave the sawdust in the middle of our kitchen. There is an amazing tool called a vacuum cleaner here.

From experience I hope the vacuum is a shop vac...a regular vac will often clog with sawdust and little bits of wood..I probably have 3 deceased vacs from such...now I have a shop vac...

(OH NO, I didn't realize where this was posted! woops, sorry..and all that work posting it too :( )
 
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Dave-W

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From experience I hope the vacuum is a shop vac...a regular vac will often clog with sawdust and little bits of wood..I probably have 3 deceased vacs from such...now I have a shop vac...
Indeed. You can get a cheap one from HomeDespot called a "bucket head" that mounts on a standard 5 gallon pail for just over $20.

Sure beats killing that expensive Dyson .....
 
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Dave-W

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"My wife shaves her armpit with hers. I won't be putting that on my face lol."
No comment on the armpit issue other than you don't like your wifes armpits?..TMI...LOL
And yet most couples engage in oral sex. That is putting your face in a more ________ place that an armpit.

I'm just sayin'
 
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EmmaCat

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Indeed. You can get a cheap one from HomeDespot called a "bucket head" that mounts on a standard 5 gallon pail for just over $20.

Sure beats killing that expensive Dyson .....

I have an Oreck, a ShopVac, and an old DustBuster. He can pick one! Ha!

All good things
Emmy
 
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Starcrystal

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NO!!

He has his own underwear!! Ha!!


That is ridiculous ..technically if you are married the TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH so in a way it IS his underwear... if he wants to sneak into your underwear so be it,,,it is nature. He could also be trying to check out what you have so he can get you a present of some underwear you don't have...??

However if he wants to actually WEAR it that is a bit weird, LOL
 
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Starcrystal

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Ok Really, next time my Rockies wanna show down and flip cat food and their bathtub flipped..complete nonsense....AEGHHYH..ITS LIGHT OUT..GOTTA FEED DOGS .LOVE THE OUTSTANDING..
 
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