I didn't even know how to title the post; unfortunately the title I gave to this thread really doesn't give clarification to what I'm struggling with, so I apologize for the vagueness.
I could really use help with Scripture verses that extrapolate as why self protection is sin. I'm sure there are Bible verses that deal with this issue, but I have no idea where to even start looking.
The issues can pretty much be summed up in two ways. One is that I've never been good with fitting in, and I've never had an easy time connecting with people/building relationships. I've pretty much always felt like I'm the outside looking in, which pretty much sums up why I suck with connecting with people/building relationships.
The other issue pretty much goes back to stuff that happened in my childhood, which is basically bullying, and through the bullying emotional and verbal abuse happened; all this stuff happened before I became saved, and is the root cause of all the emotional and mental issues I have now as an adult.
I woke up in the middle of the night a couple days ago and couldn't get back to sleep, so I started doing research with what was referred to as 'the sin of self-protection'. Just to clarify, I AM NOT SAYING that protecting yourself from abuse in of itself (of any type) is sin. Based on what research I've done regarding this, 'self-protection' is different than merely protecting yourself from some kind of abuse (i.e. emotional, verbal, etc.)
Here are some excerpts from a couple of sites I've found that define what self-protection is, how it differs from self-care, and why self-protection is sinful (I will also post the links for the sites). I will post it below:
The Sin of Self-Protection
Letting Go Of Self-Protection
Self-protection is...
Behavior that at its core is designed to protect an individual from hurts, embarrassment, or suffering. For the Christian, this means not being able to truly internalize God’s healing love and not trusting God with the unknown but rather trying to control for the unknown to protect oneself from possible future pain or discomfort.
Self protection can also be....
Sometimes self-protection comes from a place of great pain and fear of rejection. This is triggered by past, unhealed wounds, things I had not handed over to Christ to allow Him to heal completely. True Christ-healing doesn’t result in more self-protection but rather in taking greater risks in love because I no longer look to others to affirm me but to God Himself. I can see past myself to the needs of others and love better. I can forgive more quickly and let go of pain with more ease. I can also set healthy boundaries that are not self-protecting but God-trusting.
Other signs of self-protection (this is in regards to interacting with others/relationships). NOTE: The ones with asterisks are things that I've done continuously in regards to my relationships and interactions with people.
Essentially due to being hurt and rejected, and due to going through some type abuse, when you self-protect you basically put up walls/barriers to shut God out, and you do this as a defense mechanism. The main reason for putting up the barriers/walls is essentially boils down to that you don't trust God with your pain, that you don't trust that He can heal you from past abuse nor do you believe that he can heal you of wounds that you received as a result of the abuse you went through.
I realized that I've basically been putting up walls with God in regards to the emotional and verbal abuse that I've been through. I'm doing the exact same things described above.
Why it's a sin....(this is what I could really use clarification and help with)
*Rather than trying to find and seek your worth in God and Jesus, you end up trying to find your worth in people. To further clarify this point...Self-protection also leads to the demand that others fulfill our need for acceptance and significance (rather than seeking God for our self worth). Doing the aforementioned stuff is sinful, but in addition to that, when you try to find your worth in people rather instead of through God, aren't you basically using it as idolatry? (I am not sure, I am guessing on this).
*Not trusting God with your pain, your sorrow...not trusting that he can heal you of the abuse you've been through and/or not believing he can heal you of the wounds inflicted due to having been through some kind of abuse (i.e. emotional, verbal etc.). I suppose not God trusting God can be sin.....but how? The only thing I could come up with is by not trusting God, you're basically saying he's a liar (and yes saying God is a liar is obviously sinful).
*If you put up walls, and practice self-protection, you basically as I said, put up walls. In the process (at least this is the case for me in past experience with my own life) you end up becoming very angry and bitter with people, and with God, and you can end up blaming both God and people.
I didn't even realize I was DOING any of this stuff! Maybe I partially recognized I was, but I refused to even acknowledge that by putting up walls, and practicing this self-protection, I'm not only hurting God, but hurting others too. This is a stupid question, but is hurting God sinful? If so, how? I know that I've basically also committed idolatry by trying to seek people to heal me of my wounds, rather than relying and trusting God to do this. I didn't start to realize until a couple days ago, just how sinful I've been acting. I've tried to justify me complaining and having a negative attitude, by being honest. On the one hand I know being real about pain and sorrow isn't wrong, but constantly dwelling on the stuff is, and that's all I tend to look at! I hate myself, which is a separate issue, but by doing that, I'm basically saying that what Jesus did isn't good enough? Is this true, and if so how?
I could really use help with Scripture verses that extrapolate as why self protection is sin. I'm sure there are Bible verses that deal with this issue, but I have no idea where to even start looking.
The issues can pretty much be summed up in two ways. One is that I've never been good with fitting in, and I've never had an easy time connecting with people/building relationships. I've pretty much always felt like I'm the outside looking in, which pretty much sums up why I suck with connecting with people/building relationships.
The other issue pretty much goes back to stuff that happened in my childhood, which is basically bullying, and through the bullying emotional and verbal abuse happened; all this stuff happened before I became saved, and is the root cause of all the emotional and mental issues I have now as an adult.
I woke up in the middle of the night a couple days ago and couldn't get back to sleep, so I started doing research with what was referred to as 'the sin of self-protection'. Just to clarify, I AM NOT SAYING that protecting yourself from abuse in of itself (of any type) is sin. Based on what research I've done regarding this, 'self-protection' is different than merely protecting yourself from some kind of abuse (i.e. emotional, verbal, etc.)
Here are some excerpts from a couple of sites I've found that define what self-protection is, how it differs from self-care, and why self-protection is sinful (I will also post the links for the sites). I will post it below:
The Sin of Self-Protection
Letting Go Of Self-Protection
Self-protection is...
Behavior that at its core is designed to protect an individual from hurts, embarrassment, or suffering. For the Christian, this means not being able to truly internalize God’s healing love and not trusting God with the unknown but rather trying to control for the unknown to protect oneself from possible future pain or discomfort.
Self protection can also be....
Sometimes self-protection comes from a place of great pain and fear of rejection. This is triggered by past, unhealed wounds, things I had not handed over to Christ to allow Him to heal completely. True Christ-healing doesn’t result in more self-protection but rather in taking greater risks in love because I no longer look to others to affirm me but to God Himself. I can see past myself to the needs of others and love better. I can forgive more quickly and let go of pain with more ease. I can also set healthy boundaries that are not self-protecting but God-trusting.
Other signs of self-protection (this is in regards to interacting with others/relationships). NOTE: The ones with asterisks are things that I've done continuously in regards to my relationships and interactions with people.
- It is self-protection.
- It is dissolving from resolving conflicts in relationships.
- It is being hypersensitive, too easily upset by criticism and disagreement, leading to bitterness.*
- It is becoming frustrated for not getting the attention we think we deserve.*
- It is burying hurtful feelings and living non-transparent lives.(basically pretending that everything is okay, and being nice to people on the outside, but on the inside you're angry, resentful and bitter towards them)*
- It is side-stepping rejection.
- It is relating to one another with the hidden purpose of maintaining our comfort and avoiding whatever sort of interaction we find threatening.
- It is being more concerned with how we feel and less concerned with the lives of others.
- It is being clothed with ‘nice’ conduct, not with an intent to glorify God and to do good to others, but to protect ourself from further frustration of our longings to be respected and loved.
- It is having the top priority of one’s own protection from the possibilities of pain in relationships.
- It is getting depressed for not getting the approval from people to feel one's own significance.*
- It is becoming angry when people fail to care about us as they should.*
- It is developing bitterness when people don’t respond to our demands (and/or expectations)*
- It is justifying ourself to conceal sins and mistakes.
- It is clinging to our "right" to protect ourself.
- It is being a slave to self-concern, allowing self-protection to govern what we say, how we say it and to whom.
Essentially due to being hurt and rejected, and due to going through some type abuse, when you self-protect you basically put up walls/barriers to shut God out, and you do this as a defense mechanism. The main reason for putting up the barriers/walls is essentially boils down to that you don't trust God with your pain, that you don't trust that He can heal you from past abuse nor do you believe that he can heal you of wounds that you received as a result of the abuse you went through.
I realized that I've basically been putting up walls with God in regards to the emotional and verbal abuse that I've been through. I'm doing the exact same things described above.
Why it's a sin....(this is what I could really use clarification and help with)
*Rather than trying to find and seek your worth in God and Jesus, you end up trying to find your worth in people. To further clarify this point...Self-protection also leads to the demand that others fulfill our need for acceptance and significance (rather than seeking God for our self worth). Doing the aforementioned stuff is sinful, but in addition to that, when you try to find your worth in people rather instead of through God, aren't you basically using it as idolatry? (I am not sure, I am guessing on this).
*Not trusting God with your pain, your sorrow...not trusting that he can heal you of the abuse you've been through and/or not believing he can heal you of the wounds inflicted due to having been through some kind of abuse (i.e. emotional, verbal etc.). I suppose not God trusting God can be sin.....but how? The only thing I could come up with is by not trusting God, you're basically saying he's a liar (and yes saying God is a liar is obviously sinful).
*If you put up walls, and practice self-protection, you basically as I said, put up walls. In the process (at least this is the case for me in past experience with my own life) you end up becoming very angry and bitter with people, and with God, and you can end up blaming both God and people.
I didn't even realize I was DOING any of this stuff! Maybe I partially recognized I was, but I refused to even acknowledge that by putting up walls, and practicing this self-protection, I'm not only hurting God, but hurting others too. This is a stupid question, but is hurting God sinful? If so, how? I know that I've basically also committed idolatry by trying to seek people to heal me of my wounds, rather than relying and trusting God to do this. I didn't start to realize until a couple days ago, just how sinful I've been acting. I've tried to justify me complaining and having a negative attitude, by being honest. On the one hand I know being real about pain and sorrow isn't wrong, but constantly dwelling on the stuff is, and that's all I tend to look at! I hate myself, which is a separate issue, but by doing that, I'm basically saying that what Jesus did isn't good enough? Is this true, and if so how?
