Dear friend (seeker of truth),
I do not know anything about your Christian walk.
You should understand this God forgives us, of everything we have done in our life and he shows mercy and compassion on every human being on this planet. The Son of God namely the Lord Jesus Christ, paid for all mankind sins, and was risen again by God. Which is a symbol for us to put away our own sinful nature of how we go about life, instead directing ourselves towards the desires of God in living in a new form of life. There is a holy spirit that indwells you as a believer. This spirit is not a spirit of fear. However it is a spirit of power, of love, and self-control (in knowing who you are in Christ - Which is either a son or daughter of God by faith in believing on the Lord Jesus Christ).
You have been having it hard lately due to social anxiety, and life in general because we all have anxiety to some form or degree in the unknown field of life itself, however God can make it a bit more easier if we lean on him instead and we go and pray for all the people we know, and we also pray and talk to him about the things we need help with say be it to help have self-control, to help with anxiety (to not worry about what others think of me God, God remind me of who I am in you, which is a son or a daughter of God), help me to forgive my enemies, help to love them instead and not to hate or be bitter against them.
My encouragement would be for you to trust God, ask him for wisdom on situations and how to handle them, and do not doubt him to help give you wisdom, or to help you by the spirit he provides, because he loves and cares about each of us, and that means you to. His great mercy is what gets people to turn from their darkness into the light.
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Scriptures used:
2 Timothy 1:
6For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.
7For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
a but of power, love, and self-control.
8So do not be ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, or of me, His prisoner. Instead, join me in suffering for the gospel by the power of God.
9He has saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but by His own purpose and by the grace He granted us in Christ Jesus before time began.
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10And now He has revealed this grace through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has abolished death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the gospel,
11to which I was appointed as a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher.
Romans 2: 4 Or do you have no regard for the wealth of His kindness and tolerance and patience [in withholding His wrath]? Are you [actually] unaware
or ignorant [of the fact] that God’s kindness leads you to repentance [that is, to change your inner self, your old way of thinking—seek His purpose for your life]?
James 1:6 But he must ask [for wisdom] in faith, without doubting [God’s willingness to help], for the one who doubts is like a billowing surge of the sea that is blown about and tossed by the wind.
John 1:12 (Believing on the Son of God) But to as many as did receive
and welcome Him, He gave the right [the authority, the privilege] to become children of God,
that is, to those who believe in (adhere to, trust in, and rely on) His name—
2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior],
he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].
1 Timothy 2:1First of all, then, I urge that petitions (specific requests), prayers, intercessions (prayers for others) and thanksgivings be offered on behalf of all people, 2 for kings and all who are in [positions of] high authority, so that we may live a peaceful and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. 3 This [kind of praying] is good and acceptable
and pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, 4 who wishes all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge
and recognition of the [divine] truth.
1 John 2:1-2. “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. ... He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.”
My final suggestion would be if you haven’t read the gospels and you can read, start there with Matthew and go onward. Learn about Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour, the more you go to him the more peace, and joy that is found.
We as humans can not find joy and peace in anything in the world compared to the Lord Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven.
And all people have stuff they have to work out inside of themselves, and God is here for us to help!
We all have a choice to make, we can or we don’t have to because it makes us feel better that way (I’m guilty of this a lot in life though I know scripture sometimes I’m lazy and my flesh doesn’t wanna read it, but the spirit needs to become stronger.)
God bless and may you find peace, in the Lord Jesus Christ.