Struggling with loss AGAIN and throwing in the towel

[Starpuppy]

Previously i posted on this thread -> Prayer for wife's pregnancy and own spiritual strength

Update to last 2-3 weeks ago
We just lost our 2nd one about last week, the little one wasn't growing and despite wife being 1-2 months pregnant, little one size is only 3 weeks big in the initial scan.
Doctor told us to come in the next week, only to find out the heartbeat stopped. We just had the removal done last week

Right now I am struggling, I cannot understand why He allowed the pregnancy AGAIN and only to take it away. He could prevent pregnancy.

I have been told by some of my cell group members that it is not in control of God and its a test of faith.

I cannot understand why, if He can perform miracles, why does He allow this to happen? He can also prevent death

If children are gift from God and every life on earth is important to Him, why would He allow a life to be taken away. WHAT KIND OF MERCIFUL GOD PLAYS WITH A LIFE TO TEST MY FAITH?

I can't pray because I am angry. This quote on ChristianPost sums up my feeling very well

"Experiencing miscarriage derailed my faith completely. If a loving God would allow this to happen, then I have one thing to say about it: F&#% him. I'm done with Christianity. This feels nothing like love."—Beth

It doesn't help when another member in our group is also pregnant with her 3rd child at the same time as my wife was and is doing well. My wife is serving in the infant ministry and we have been taking care of the toddlers in our group.

I am at a loss what to do, I feel like throwing the towel but yet I hold on to that tiny hope that someone who has gone through my path can pull me out of this hate.

 

[devin553344]

Previously i posted on this thread -> Prayer for wife's pregnancy and own spiritual strength

Update to last 2-3 weeks ago
We just lost our 2nd one about last week, the little one wasn't growing and despite wife being 1-2 months pregnant, little one size is only 3 weeks big in the initial scan.
Doctor told us to come in the next week, only to find out the heartbeat stopped. We just had the removal done last week

Right now I am struggling, I cannot understand why He allowed the pregnancy AGAIN and only to take it away. He could prevent pregnancy.

I have been told by some of my cell group members that it is not in control of God and its a test of faith.

I cannot understand why, if He can perform miracles, why does He allow this to happen? He can also prevent death

If children are gift from God and every life on earth is important to Him, why would He allow a life to be taken away. WHAT KIND OF MERCIFUL GOD PLAYS WITH A LIFE TO TEST MY FAITH?

I can't pray because I am angry. This quote on ChristianPost sums up my feeling very well


It doesn't help when another member in our group is also pregnant with her 3rd child at the same time as my wife was and is doing well. My wife is serving in the infant ministry and we have been taking care of the toddlers in our group.

I am at a loss what to do, I feel like throwing the towel but yet I hold on to that tiny hope that someone who has gone through my path can pull me out of this hate.

This is not God testing you, that is incorrect. It's probably a medical problem.

 

[SarahsKnight]

I am at a loss what to do, I feel like throwing the towel but yet I hold on to that tiny hope that someone who has gone through my path can pull me out of this hate.

I understand how and why you would come to doubt, Starpuppy, and even to feel tempted to hate God or think that He hates you. All I can think of to say is, please hang on to that tiny thread of faith. It's ultimately all we need. And please do not believe that God is against you or taking pleasure in you and your wife's suffering. No matter what happens, don't believe that lie. I admit I cannot personally empathize, as I have never suffered anything like miscarriage, but still, if my words can mean anything at all to you in this extremely difficult time: please hang on, and I will pray for you and your wife to be blessed and healed from this.

 

[Lost4words]

Never give up on God.

Be strong.

Some people take many attempts at having a baby go full cycle. You are not alone.

May God bless you both. Give you both strength. And help you have a healthy child.

 

[tall73]

My mother lost three children, one who was born but lived only a short time, and two who were carried for some time in pregnancy and then were lost.

She went on to have children, but certainly had a hard time dealing with the tremendous loss.

God could prevent all kinds of evil. He could intervene in all kinds of situation with miracles. He does not. Trying to understand that is difficult.

But then I have seen miracles when it is His desire to do so.

Thee are some answers I have found as to the problem of evil in general, and God's plan overall.
I don't have answers as to why He spares some, and others not. However, I do know from experience that He is loves us.

He did not spare His Son either but sent Him into a sinful world to participate in its suffering and death.

Does that take away all the pain? No. But it does mean He is not somehow isolated from our pain. And He will restore all things, and wipe away our pain and death and tears.

I will pray that you not give up.

 

[Mathetes66]

One of my sister's had twins but after several months ended up losing them. Then she couldn't have anymore but God gave her a recurrent dream about 2 spiders coming down a web.

A number of us prayed for wisdom for her. After a bit of time, the Lord revealed that she had had 2 abortions & had not repented of them. Once my sister worked through that process of repentance, she again became pregnant and has had 6 children, all grown now.

For her that was the issue she needed to address.

Another missionary couple I know couldn't have children for 9 years in their marriage & assumed they wouldn't have any. The Lord impressed upon me one day in praying for others & they came up, to pray that a spiritual stronghold would be removed so that they could have children. I prayed in the Spirit in spiritual warfare & suddenly something broke free in the spiritual realm & I had peace that God had removed whatever was there. The very next month Heidi was pregnant & they had 3 children.



Another thing to keep in mind is that the blood of Jesus Christ is able to forgive babies in the womb that don't see birth. You will see them again. They are saved by the grace & mercy & blood of Jesus.

Sometimes there are medical issues for the baby & the Lord takes them home. Sometimes there are medical issues with you that may need to be checked out. Some friends of mine had 7 miscarriages then had a son. God is sovereign & we don't know all the factors involved.

May the Lord have mercy on you to heal your sorrow & to repent of your hatred & being offensive toward God. Do not let this develop into a root of bitterness, that will lead you to fall away from the living God. Allow His grace & the knowledge that God does indeed love you bring you peace.

John 6:53,54,60-69 “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man & drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh & drinks my blood has eternal life & I will raise him up on the last day.

When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this?

Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit & life. But there are some of you who do not believe.”

(For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe & who it was who would betray him.) And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”

66After this many of his disciples turned back & no longer walked with him. So Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life & we have believed & have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.”

Heb 12:12-16 Therefore lift your drooping hands & strengthen your weak knees, & make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed. Strive for peace with everyone & for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.

15See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up & causes trouble & by it many become defiled; that no one is sexually immoral or ungodly like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal.

Matthew 11:25-30 At that time Jesus declared, “I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; 26yes, Father, for such was your gracious will.

27All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”