- Nov 27, 2016
- 1,220
- 929
- Country
- United Kingdom
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
A little background on the situation will probably help you understand why I am struggling.
My whole life feels like it is harder than anyone elses. I was brought up by a violent, neglctful and psychologically abusive father after the drove my mum out who couldnt cope with him. I also got bullied at school because of the psychological weakness as a result of growing up in a home like that.
Then most of my working life I have struggled to get much success. I have done well in jobs where I have had a good manager but often ended up working for managers with reputations as being one of the worst in the whole company; once or twice by applying for jobs internally without knowing until it was too late but more from changes in structure in the company and being moved against my will to new roles. I have also had very low pay for the roles I have been doing for most of my working life, at times when compared to almost identical roles in other companies they pay far more. As a white male I have been told numerous times I have been turned down for promotions because the company had a policy of giving women and minority groups the roles to diversify even though I was the best candidate for the job.
So a year or two ago I got the opportunity for a very good redundancy payment. I prayed and prayed a out it and felt it was right to accept it and go self employed working in an industry where you generate your own business and can buy leads. The company I worked under for regulation purposes ended up restricting me generating my own business and I tried buying leads as well. 2 companies I bought leads off had good reputations and one in particular was so good I was told by the company I worked under that several people only used them and made a good living from it with no other work. When I used them they were absolutely awful and from what I have been told go the least leads and worst quality from them that anyone has heard off. In 6 months I got 1 lead that was poor quality and should have had about 1 a month of good quality. To get so few and poor quality leads as I got from both companies is unheard off and I have had the worst experience with them of anyone in the company I work under. I should also point out the owner of the company is Christian.
With the way the company treated me and poor quality of leads from companies that are usually good it has left me feeling like it goes beyond bad luck and that God is allowing me to financially struggle and my whole life has been hindered by financial oppression. I have always tithed and given on top of that which preachers would have us believe God will always bless, but this clearly is not the case for me. I feel like I cant trust God to keep His promises.
Its got to the point where I dont know if I can continue with this Christian life as none of the promises of God seem to be true and I am struggling to maintain faith in a God who is my heavenly father. My view of God has already changed and it feels like I cant trust God to even bless me to the lowest level non-believers would expect
My whole life feels like it is harder than anyone elses. I was brought up by a violent, neglctful and psychologically abusive father after the drove my mum out who couldnt cope with him. I also got bullied at school because of the psychological weakness as a result of growing up in a home like that.
Then most of my working life I have struggled to get much success. I have done well in jobs where I have had a good manager but often ended up working for managers with reputations as being one of the worst in the whole company; once or twice by applying for jobs internally without knowing until it was too late but more from changes in structure in the company and being moved against my will to new roles. I have also had very low pay for the roles I have been doing for most of my working life, at times when compared to almost identical roles in other companies they pay far more. As a white male I have been told numerous times I have been turned down for promotions because the company had a policy of giving women and minority groups the roles to diversify even though I was the best candidate for the job.
So a year or two ago I got the opportunity for a very good redundancy payment. I prayed and prayed a out it and felt it was right to accept it and go self employed working in an industry where you generate your own business and can buy leads. The company I worked under for regulation purposes ended up restricting me generating my own business and I tried buying leads as well. 2 companies I bought leads off had good reputations and one in particular was so good I was told by the company I worked under that several people only used them and made a good living from it with no other work. When I used them they were absolutely awful and from what I have been told go the least leads and worst quality from them that anyone has heard off. In 6 months I got 1 lead that was poor quality and should have had about 1 a month of good quality. To get so few and poor quality leads as I got from both companies is unheard off and I have had the worst experience with them of anyone in the company I work under. I should also point out the owner of the company is Christian.
With the way the company treated me and poor quality of leads from companies that are usually good it has left me feeling like it goes beyond bad luck and that God is allowing me to financially struggle and my whole life has been hindered by financial oppression. I have always tithed and given on top of that which preachers would have us believe God will always bless, but this clearly is not the case for me. I feel like I cant trust God to keep His promises.
Its got to the point where I dont know if I can continue with this Christian life as none of the promises of God seem to be true and I am struggling to maintain faith in a God who is my heavenly father. My view of God has already changed and it feels like I cant trust God to even bless me to the lowest level non-believers would expect
Don't give up! The battle is not between you and them, but them and God and HE WILL WIN soon! Hang on. You can do this.
