Struggling With Death

John Davidson

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As I've gotten older and my health has began to fail I've began to really struggle with the concept of death.

I know as Christians we believe in the resurrection from the dead but lately I have found myself really fearing death.

Are there any words of encouragement or scriptures you can share to help me cope with this?

Thank you,
John
 

ValleyGal

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John, I'm really sorry you are struggling with this, especially if your health is starting to fail and you are faced with existential questions. Depending on your age, you may be struggling with a lot of end-of-life stuff, too, such as reflecting on your life and answering questions about integrity versus despair (the last "conflict" to resolve in older age). As believers, if you put together the idea of integrity versus despair and fit that in with our faith, then we consider things like our eternal home. Questions that might come up might include things like "was it enough" or "did I do all I could do for the Kingdom."

Can you specifically pinpoint what it is that you are fearing> Is it the how and when, or is it the potential for painful death, or is it something more related to where you might end up after the fact, or maybe is it more existential like the issues I mentioned in the first paragraph> Maybe your fear is about knowing your sin-nature is going to stand before a holy God for judgement. I don't know.... what exactly do you fear>
 
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John Davidson

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John, I'm really sorry you are struggling with this, especially if your health is starting to fail and you are faced with existential questions. Depending on your age, you may be struggling with a lot of end-of-life stuff, too, such as reflecting on your life and answering questions about integrity versus despair (the last "conflict" to resolve in older age). As believers, if you put together the idea of integrity versus despair and fit that in with our faith, then we consider things like our eternal home. Questions that might come up might include things like "was it enough" or "did I do all I could do for the Kingdom."

Can you specifically pinpoint what it is that you are fearing> Is it the how and when, or is it the potential for painful death, or is it something more related to where you might end up after the fact, or maybe is it more existential like the issues I mentioned in the first paragraph> Maybe your fear is about knowing your sin-nature is going to stand before a holy God for judgement. I don't know.... what exactly do you fear>

Hi ValleyGal thank you for the great reply.

I am fearing everything death related. I am fearing all of those things you mentioned.

I am fearing that it may be painful and filled with suffering.

I am fearing that there may be no afterlife or maybe I will burn in hell.

I am fearing the fact that my family will miss me and that I will also miss them when they die.

I watched my Grandparents die and it was horrible.

I'm afraid. No I'm terrified.

I'm struggling so much with this.

Christ have mercy.

Thanks for reading,
John
 
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John Davidson

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Hi,
Was very ill when I was about 30. Never actually thought then of dying, but
was in a lot of pain at times and even blacked out in a yard down the street.
Laid there until the guy came out of his house and saw me. Finally heard a
very small voice like it was way far away and tried to almost force myself
to gain the strength to open my eyes. A while /days/weeks later is when it
seemed I had an NDE/near-death experience. Medical was soon helping me
afterwards, but the NDE was already over. October? of 2013 is when I
felt again like my time is up. I told God that I just can't do this anymore.
I could not even get out of bed for any reason - I was so weak. Wasn't
going to call emergency. Just laid back and was giving up. Knew that
God told me to take my hands from my head to my feet and I would
be healed. I did it, and was able to get up and get breakfast. Used to
have terrible pain in both eyes seems 24 hours a day and that too was healed
in a moment by God. Months or so earlier I had walked into the
Christmas tree at the doctor's office. Used to be for a while, hardly
able to see. I don't know what you are exactly going through just be
sure to let God Almighty help you during it.

perfect love casteth out fear:
from 1 John 4:18
from 1 John 4:16 - God is love
He gives us peace, not as the world gives. See John 14:27
everlasting life/ John 5:24

Thank you for the post.

I have been praying for healing. But the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, "Look at your scars, some things don't heal my son".
 
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Asuk

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Brother, you should not fear death. God will take care of you and your family. It will be like a blink of an eye before you see them again.
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ValleyGal

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Hi ValleyGal thank you for the great reply.

I am fearing everything death related. I am fearing all of those things you mentioned.

I am fearing that it may be painful and filled with suffering.

I am fearing that there may be no afterlife or maybe I will burn in hell.

I am fearing the fact that my family will miss me and that I will also miss them when they die.

I watched my Grandparents die and it was horrible.

I'm afraid. No I'm terrified.

I'm struggling so much with this.

Christ have mercy.

Thanks for reading,
John
Your fears are very real, and likely most of us will question these kinds of things at some point in our lives. I think some of us have these thoughts much more than most of the population. I know my own preoccupation with my own death is not normal - probably because I spent years nursing in long term care and have had numerous deaths very close to me from a very young age. When someone close to you dies, you are faced with your own mortality and for me, I wrestle with it, like you seem to be.

I am the kind of person who tries to look at the bright side of everything, so over the years I have trained my brain to use my existential questions as a motivator to live and love each day as though it could be my last....or the last of the people I love.

Imo, dying takes a tremendous amount of courage and faith. Courage because you are stepping into the unknown, and it is the one thing in life that you have no choice but to do alone. Faith because you have no choice but to step into the unknown (all of us will die at some point, unless rapture happens and we are "caught up to meet him in the clouds." When you think about dying, do you trust God to keep his word> Or do you question all your faith, question God, question his Word> When you think about it, is your faith challenged, or do you know what you believe and why you believe it>

You watched your grandparents die. Were you young then> Were you close to them> Were you able to attend their celebration of life> What kind of support did you have during your grieving over that loss> Can you go back to that day, and ask Jesus "where were you that day" and wait for him to answer you.

Another thing you might want to do is to prepare for it - make a living will, a regular will, plan out and pay for your own celebration of life, and even consider your ideal death scenario (this was an activity we did in the death and dying class - some want to go fast and unexpected and not see it coming, others wanted a peaceful bed at home with family and friends close by, some wanted to fall asleep and never wake up, etc). Think about it in terms of all your senses - what do you want to feel, hear, see, smell, taste, where do you want it to be, do you want time to prepare for it, how much time, do you want people around and how many and who, what kinds of measures do you want to keep you comfortable, etc. This exercise is good to get used to the idea that it is going to happen, may be soon or may be 70 years from now.

And most important, prepare your soul. Make sure you are right with God and right with all the people in your life. Reconcile all your relationships and treat each as though you may never see them again. It often takes thoughts of death, or losing a loved one to really learn what it is to live life to the fullest, learn what makes it really rich. Then know God - know that he has the integrity to keep his word, and his Word says that no one can snatch you from his hand, that you have a place in Heaven secured for you through the Lord Jesus.
 
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tturt

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Do think what you witnessed with your grandparents is impacting you a lot. I would take some time and ask Yahweh to heal me from that experience.

Thought I heard Yahweh say - you won't celebrate another birthday here. During the year, there were several stages - was it His voice and if so, what did that statement really mean. Next wrote letters to loved ones and did some other things. Thought about Job and David (I Sam 30). Still prayed and believed for His healing (Mal 4:2). Had to fight depression so recalled Scripture such as Isa 41:10. Closer to my birthday, I concluded - it's in your hands, Yahweh - either way. Just going to praise you (Psa 145). Had to laugh later it was always His call - and still is. He gives us every breath (Isa 42:5). My birthday came and went - I heard wrong or interpreted what was said in the wrong way and had spent a year with that thought hanging over. In retrospect, learned to appreciate the day more (Psa 118:24) and the everyday more. Let more things go - it's just not worth the time and effort. Pray more and asking for His will to be done (Matt 6:10). Know that all good things come from Him (James 1:17).
 
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John Davidson

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I decided I would go to scripture for some guidance.

Here are the scriptures I found that bring me some peace:

John 11:21-26
Then said Martha unto Jesus, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. But I know, that even now, whatsoever thou wilt ask of God, God will give it thee. Jesus saith unto her, Thy brother shall rise again. Martha saith unto him, I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day. Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?

1 Corinthians 15:12-57
Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen: And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain. Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not. For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised: And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins. Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable. But now is Christ risen from the dead, and become the firstfruits of them that slept. For since by man came death, by man came also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ shall all be made alive. But every man in his own order: Christ the firstfruits; afterward they that are Christ's at his coming. Then cometh the end, when he shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power. For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet. The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death. For he hath put all things under his feet. But when he saith all things are put under him, it is manifest that he is excepted, which did put all things under him. And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all. Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead? And why stand we in jeopardy every hour? I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily. If after the manner of men I have fought with beasts at Ephesus, what advantageth it me, if the dead rise not? let us eat and drink; for to morrow we die. Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame. But some man will say, How are the dead raised up? and with what body do they come? Thou fool, that which thou sowest is not quickened, except it die: And that which thou sowest, thou sowest not that body that shall be, but bare grain, it may chance of wheat, or of some other grain: But God giveth it a body as it hath pleased him, and to every seed his own body. All flesh is not the same flesh: but there is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of beasts, another of fishes, and another of birds. There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another. There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory. So also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown in corruption; it is raised in incorruption: It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power: It is sown a natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body, and there is a spiritual body. And so it is written, The first man Adam was made a living soul; the last Adam was made a quickening spirit. Howbeit that was not first which is spiritual, but that which is natural; and afterward that which is spiritual. The first man is of the earth, earthy; the second man is the Lord from heaven. As is the earthy, such are they also that are earthy: and as is the heavenly, such are they also that are heavenly. And as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly. Now this I say, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; neither doth corruption inherit incorruption. Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? The sting of death is sin; and the strength of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

John 6:39-58
And this is the Father's will which hath sent me, that of all which he hath given me I should lose nothing, but should raise it up again at the last day. And this is the will of him that sent me, that every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life: and I will raise him up at the last day. The Jews then murmured at him, because he said, I am the bread which came down from heaven. And they said, Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? how is it then that he saith, I came down from heaven? Jesus therefore answered and said unto them, Murmur not among yourselves. No man can come to me, except the Father which hath sent me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day. It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God. Every man therefore that hath heard, and hath learned of the Father, cometh unto me. Not that any man hath seen the Father, save he which is of God, he hath seen the Father. Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me hath everlasting life. I am that bread of life. Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead. This is the bread which cometh down from heaven, that a man may eat thereof, and not die. I am the living bread which came down from heaven: if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. The Jews therefore strove among themselves, saying, How can this man give us his flesh to eat? Then Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except ye eat the flesh of the Son of man, and drink his blood, ye have no life in you. Whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, hath eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is meat indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He that eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me. This is that bread which came down from heaven: not as your fathers did eat manna, and are dead: he that eateth of this bread shall live for ever.

John 14:2-3
In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
 
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John Davidson

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When you think about dying, do you trust God to keep his word> Or do you question all your faith, question God, question his Word> When you think about it, is your faith challenged, or do you know what you believe and why you believe it>

Yes, lately I have found myself having doubts and questioning my faith. Don't get me wrong I am a firm believer in Jesus Christ. I am just having fear. I am praying that God would bring me peace.

You watched your grandparents die. Were you young then> Were you close to them> Were you able to attend their celebration of life> What kind of support did you have during your grieving over that loss> Can you go back to that day, and ask Jesus "where were you that day" and wait for him to answer you.

I was 23 when one grandfather died then my other grandfather and grandmother died when I was 37.

I did attend their funerals. I had my parents for support but we didn't talk about it much.

They all died in kind of a long process so it was hard on the family.
 
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John Davidson

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Lord Jesus I pray that you would bring me peace in the hour of my death. Help me not to fear but to have confidence in your victory over the grave. Bind Satan so that he cannot deceive me with doubt. Grant me faith in the resurrection from the dead and the hope of eternal life found only in you. Bless me with a peaceable departure from this life. Save my soul in your everlasting kingdom. Help me to be an instrument in your hands until that day. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray amen.
 
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John Davidson

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I am feeling a little better today.

Many of the vascular spasms I have been having have stopped. The tingling in my hand has stopped. I checked my blood pressure yesterday afternoon and it was still a little high.

God is helping me to have faith. The Holy Ghost is ministering to me.

Thank you all for your input in this thread and any prayers.

God bless,
John
 
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