I’m not having any sex but I do have attraction to males. I do fantasize about having sex outside of marriage but I would never do that in real life. I fantasize about being in love and the person loves me. I cannot find a good partner right now and I have nothing else going for me right now. Imagining having sex with certain men makes me happy and it is a good escape. I want the intimacy but not until after marriage so I dream of it now until I meet the one. It’s not masturbating, just fantasizing at night. Will I go to hell if I don’t stop? It’s boring otherwise.