Struggling with a particular sin

[Lybrah]

I’m not having any sex but I do have attraction to males. I do fantasize about having sex outside of marriage but I would never do that in real life. I fantasize about being in love and the person loves me. I cannot find a good partner right now and I have nothing else going for me right now. Imagining having sex with certain men makes me happy and it is a good escape. I want the intimacy but not until after marriage so I dream of it now until I meet the one. It’s not masturbating, just fantasizing at night. Will I go to hell if I don’t stop? It’s boring otherwise.

 

[Goodhuman]

Don't do it. Watch television and read books.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I’m not having any sex but I do have attraction to males. I do fantasize about having sex outside of marriage but I would never do that in real life. I fantasize about being in love and the person loves me. I cannot find a good partner right now and I have nothing else going for me right now. Imagining having sex with certain men makes me happy and it is a good escape. I want the intimacy but not until after marriage so I dream of it now until I meet the one. It’s not masturbating, just fantasizing at night. Will I go to hell if I don’t stop? It’s boring otherwise.

I interpret Matthew 5:28 as saying that looking on a specific man who already belongs to someone else in a sexual and lustful manner is sinful. If you are doing that, you need to do your best to stop and repent.

 

[bèlla]

I do fantasize about having sex outside of marriage.

You’re feeding lust within yourself.

I fantasize about being in love and the person loves me. I cannot find a good partner right now and I have nothing else going for me right now.

The desire for companionship isn’t wrong. But escapism has led you astray.

Imagining having sex with certain men makes me happy and it is a good escape. I want the intimacy but not until after marriage so I dream of it now until I meet the one. It’s not masturbating, just fantasizing at night. Will I go to hell if I don’t stop? It’s boring otherwise.

You began with a want for companionship that has morphed into fantasies about fornicating. You didn’t expect to reach that point and won’t foresee the next.

That’s how sin works. Masturbation or inappropriate contentography are the next step. It may happen in a moment of weakness. You can’t feed lust and be unscathed. At some point the fantasies won’t be enough. You’ll need more.

Read the struggles others have shared on the board. Everything begins innocently but it doesn’t remain that way forever. Repent and pray for the removal of spirits of lust and fantasy.

Renew your mind and heart and stop dwelling on marriage so much. Redirect your attention to God and ask Him to help you weather this season. Strengthen your prayer life and fellowship with mature Christian women who will support and intercede on your behalf.

Fantasy inspires unrealistic expectations and dissatisfaction. No one measures up to the one you’re imagining. That’s part of the problem. Look at your previous posts in light of that. You’ll see the way forward.

~Bella

 

[.Mikha'el.]

I’m not having any sex but I do have attraction to males. I do fantasize about having sex outside of marriage but I would never do that in real life. I fantasize about being in love and the person loves me. I cannot find a good partner right now and I have nothing else going for me right now. Imagining having sex with certain men makes me happy and it is a good escape. I want the intimacy but not until after marriage so I dream of it now until I meet the one. It’s not masturbating, just fantasizing at night. Will I go to hell if I don’t stop? It’s boring otherwise.

Are these specific men you know in person? Are they available?