Struggling while trying to save that space for the right guy

[Heartofsilver]

Hello everyone,

I have a guy friend A who I have been friends with for many years. Years ago we had gone out on few dates and ended up liking him more as a friend, since I had just gotten out of two abusive relationships and I wasn't ready to date. Plus, I was being immature at the time and thinking that him talking too quickly was annoying since I could barely understand him at times. I wanted him to be with someone who didn't think that of him. Years later, we are still friends and my mom mentioned getting a hold of him recently. I did and he is super nice, graduated, employed,and he is pursuing me again. I have matured more since and I don't mind fast talking. I have become much more patient with understanding what he is saying. He has invited me to do many activities with him this summer. I told him that I would love to hang out with him as a friend, because he let me know that he has yet to come back to Jesus. A few years ago while I was dating my former boyfriend, I was talking about Jesus with A and I noticed that he was just responding. I asked him if he was still catholic, which he basically told me that he wasn't sure. Surprised I asked him if he still believed in Jesus, he told me he wasn't sure basically. I found out recently that he said this is still so, that he doesn't know what he believes anymore and that all religions seem to be connected. He isn't sure who God really is anymore. He also said that he thinks the Catholic church and Christianity in general is too legalistic which I agreed that it can be which is why I'm not into denomination, since I'm a non-denominational Christian. So, even though he has good qualities and I have matured/recovered he isn't sure about God right now from what I know since I last talked to him. I feel God encouraging me to pray for patience and to save that space for the right guy. I feel God telling me that A isn't him, but sometimes these feelings that I get can deem inaccurate, so I'll just have to pray and see what happens which can be difficult.

Please Pray for patience, discernment ,etc as I hang out with my guy friend. Also any advice is appreciated. God bless you all, I'll be praying for you.

 

[JesusYeshuaisLord]

I feel God encouraging me to pray for patience and to save that space for the right guy. I feel God telling me that A isn't him, but sometimes these feelings that I get can deem inaccurate.

I encourage you to follow what you feel like God is telling you. Read His word on unequally yoked and how He views a perfect marriage. This will guide you on what to do and how to choose your partner. There are a lot of YouTube videos on that too. I wish I knew that before so I wish to really encourage you on making a godly choice. I will pray for you

 

[timewerx]

I found out recently that he said this is still so, that he doesn't know what he believes anymore and that all religions seem to be connected.

All the major religions in this world - Christianity, Judaism, and Islam does seem connected in a bad way.

They all seem to fit together in a puzzle perfectly with one exception of Christ's Gospels. The Gospel doesn't fit in there at all. The Old Testament in the Bible does fit but not the Gospel.

Even Christianity barely understands the Gospel and the many denominations that disagree with one another with different interpretation is evidence of it.

However, I will always be sure the Holy Spirit is always around and I believe it is the Holy Spirit that guided me to my current belief in spiritual matters.

Surprised I asked him if he still believed in Jesus, he told me he wasn't sure basically. I found out recently that he said this is still so, that he doesn't know what he believes anymore and that all religions seem to be connected. He isn't sure who God really is anymore.

Ask him why he thinks so, and try to understand why he would think that.

I don't think Guy A is wicked or anything. I think Guy A is simply confused.


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[Tolworth John]

Start as you mean to continue. You are asked out on a date ok, ensure that on that date the ground rules are established. and that you are going to church on Sunday either with him at your church or at his.

Ask him questions about moral issues, if he cannot show you he understands the issues and explain them to you get rid of him.

Set your sights high, you want a spiritual leader for your family.

 

[Heartofsilver]

All the major religions in this world - Christianity, Judaism, and Islam does seem connected in a bad way.

They all seem to fit together in a puzzle perfectly with one exception of Christ's Gospels. The Gospel doesn't fit in there at all. The Old Testament in the Bible does fit but not the Gospel.

Even Christianity barely understands the Gospel and the many denominations that disagree with one another with different interpretation is evidence of it.

However, I will always be sure the Holy Spirit is always around and I believe it is the Holy Spirit that guided me to my current belief in spiritual matters.



Ask him why he thinks so, and try to understand why he would think that.

I don't think Guy A is wicked or anything. I think Guy A is simply confused.


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Well he meant more in the sense that he now believes that all religions serve the same purpose of people using them to have "good morals." I did ask him about what had happened to his catholic faith and he told me that he was seeing it as too legalistic. Which I did reply that I honestly do think that Catholics and Christians can be too legalistic with our faith, but not all of us at that way nor do we have to be. I have wondered if this is due to an experience that he has had with the church or if this has to do with our mutual friends who are mainly non-christians who have been hurt by the church.

 

[Heartofsilver]

Start as you mean to continue. You are asked out on a date ok, ensure that on that date the ground rules are established. and that you are going to church on Sunday either with him at your church or at his.

Ask him questions about moral issues, if he cannot show you he understands the issues and explain them to you get rid of him.

Set your sights high, you want a spiritual leader for your family.

Well I'm not sure ,if he goes to mass anymore, but it actually would be nice to invite him to my young adults group. I am curious to what he would say about certain issues happening today. Even if him and I don't end up dating, I'm not just going to "get rid of " a good friend of mine who I have been friends with for many years. Yes, I do agree that I want a strong spiritual leader to lead my family, though my family raised me up to be a spiritually leading person I still wonder what a man spiritually leading the family would be like. So far, scarcely ever do spiritually leading men look my way at times since sometimes I like to dress in goth, but I know in Jesus' timing He will send the right guy.

 

[timewerx]

Well he meant more in the sense that he now believes that all religions serve the same purpose of people using them to have "good morals." I did ask him about what had happened to his catholic faith and he told me that he was seeing it as too legalistic. Which I did reply that I honestly do think that Catholics and Christians can be too legalistic with our faith, but not all of us at that way nor do we have to be. I have wondered if this is due to an experience that he has had with the church or if this has to do with our mutual friends who are mainly non-christians who have been hurt by the church.

Jesus in the Bible showed flexibility when it comes to following rules. For example, He illustrated, you do not have to observe the Sabbath if you need to do something urgently important like saving a person's life or an animal's life that day (and possibly, other important reasons as well).

It would seem like Jesus is motivated by actions that lead to greater outcome of mercy. Actions that lead to more harm than good is absolutely not permitted though.

In the Old Testament. It is permitted to lie and even kill if it achieves a greater objective such as saving another person's life (even saving a whole nation) - even though "thou shalt not kill" is a commandment.

But today, many Christians think you cannot lie nor kill for any reason, a sure sign of being far too legalistic.

Perhaps, your friend is simply confused by Christians upholding certain rules even to the point of ridiculousness. But if he reads the Bible, he will realize, that is not the case.

If you agree with what I'm saying, you may tell this to your friend and see what he thinks.

However, if this about gays who commit sodomy (anal sex), there might actually be a strong basis why God forbids it. Scientific studies did show a much higher chance of transmitting STDs such as AIDs and this is true even for male-female couples engaging in sodomy (but gay couples are much more likely to commit sodomy). Ironically, the risk of STD between Lesbians is less even if compared to male-female couples. Coincidentally, the Bible does not explicitly forbid Lesbian relations. There's scientific basis for that... But of course, I could be wrong.