Struggling Aspie...

[AspieGirl1105]

Hi there. So I self diagnosed Asperger's a few months ago, and it's been a challenge since then. But, knowing that I have this condition kind of helps me to understand why I have been the way I've been my whole life. I am a young adult female and well, the triggers are shooting off like crazy these days. But God has been good, teaching me and guiding me since before I knew, and I can't thank him enough. It's just that, I don't really have someone to talk to about this. My parents don't understand, and it hurts that it seems like they don't want to. They've dismissed it the few times I tried to talk to them, and of course, as we know, that will definitely remove the desire to do so ever again. They're not bad parents, they are the best parents I could ask for and because of their love for me, I believe I turned out much better than I might have, if they didn't take care of me so well.
The struggling part is a symptom of Asperger's that I have, and it's a sexual thing. I can't even talk to them about normal symptoms, there is no way I could talk about this one. I'm just hoping that someone on here could relate to this struggle. I know everything I need to know, regarding God's word and what is expected of me as a believer, but when I have a meltdown, it's what I resort to, and I've pushed His voice away too many times. I'm sick of it and I know that it doesn't just hurt me, it hurts Him too. I'm asking for prayer as well as anyone who can relate. It would be really great to know I'm not alone in this. Thank you.

 

[PinkyRock]

Hi there. So I self diagnosed Asperger's a few months ago, and it's been a challenge since then. But, knowing that I have this condition kind of helps me to understand why I have been the way I've been my whole life. I am a young adult female and well, the triggers are shooting off like crazy these days. But God has been good, teaching me and guiding me since before I knew, and I can't thank him enough. It's just that, I don't really have someone to talk to about this. My parents don't understand, and it hurts that it seems like they don't want to. They've dismissed it the few times I tried to talk to them, and of course, as we know, that will definitely remove the desire to do so ever again. They're not bad parents, they are the best parents I could ask for and because of their love for me, I believe I turned out much better than I might have, if they didn't take care of me so well.
The struggling part is a symptom of Asperger's that I have, and it's a sexual thing. I can't even talk to them about normal symptoms, there is no way I could talk about this one. I'm just hoping that someone on here could relate to this struggle. I know everything I need to know, regarding God's word and what is expected of me as a believer, but when I have a meltdown, it's what I resort to, and I've pushed His voice away too many times. I'm sick of it and I know that it doesn't just hurt me, it hurts Him too. I'm asking for prayer as well as anyone who can relate. It would be really great to know I'm not alone in this. Thank you.

I too have Aspergers and struggle with one family member who refuses to believe I have it (even though I wasn't self diagnosed. It was just 11 years older than the age my brother got diagnosed at). It is hard but the best thing to do is to not let it bother you (which is also hard) or to try to explain how it feels for you when you get triggered (exact thoughts and emotions that ran through you).

Have your tried avoiding the triggers? If its a person's comments then have you tried blocking them out/going away from them? Also maybe something to fiddle with may help (e.g. a tangle, which is what I have to help me cope).

Remember that God brings these struggles because He knows we can deal with them (proper saying/properly said in the NIV Bible 1 Corinthians 10:13)

 

[Jerklaugh]

Man I was born with this F-ing curse and diagnosed as a child. I am normal on the outside and Been 10 years in the military but always been completely alone. I was told I had a really high IQ and I can do so many beautiful things with stuff I love. I would be an atheist but had few weird expierence several years ago that let me know God is real. I also accepted Jesus then... Since then I never have felt him or anything. I never can keep realtionships. Always drive them off. not because I'm weird or crazy just f-ing social problems. I learned to hide it so well from people I work with but never been able to make a real friend that I have kept. I have recently started drinking a lot lol. Sorry to complain just letting you all like me know your not alone...

 

[AspieGirl1105]

@PinkyRock
Hi! Thank you so much for replying! It really means a lot. i try my best not to let it bother me, but there are a few things that plague my mind and then that triggers me and well, leaves me unstable. But I am working on it, trying to implement Phillipians 4:8 into my life and think on the lovely things. It is a challenge though. As for avoiding the triggers, I DO.. lol. As much as I am able, I try to remove as many of them from my life as I have control over them. However, recently, I worked at a restaurant, just really part time, and the triggers there were off the hook. I had to really hold it together and that kind of built up, then when I got home, I had to explode. I don't have to go back there on a weekly basis anymore, so I feel a whole lot more stable than I did a few weeks ago. But my parents still don't believe it, though I have been viewed as the problem child in the family.... I'm not assuming this, it's true. So I find it kind of hard to understand why this is so, and after i tell them about the condition, they still can't believe it. But I'm letting God have His way no matter what. I just need to keep trusting in Him and following the way He makes for me.

 

[AspieGirl1105]

@Jerklaugh
Hello, thank you for replying! I'm sorry that you have struggled with Asperger's so much thus far, but joining the Military is admirable, I commend you. Feeling alone is something you can't escape unless you REALLY try to break the boundaries of the condition. i'm naturally an introvert so being alone is time I seek after and treasure once i have it. But unless isolation is where you feel comfortable, you'll have to find a way to move passed this limitation. You can do it, because the WORD says so in Phillipians 4:13, You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. The wonderful thing about Asperger's is that, you can get to see God be strong in your weaknesses. There are so many things that I have overcome because of God giving me the strength to do it, despite my physical limitations. I used to always be so paranoid and anxious, I'm an over-thinker so whenever i had to commute, I was always so worried that someone was out there waiting to kidnap me. Smh. But, God really worked in me and now, He gives me the strength and assurance that He is watching over me. Given me opportunities to train myself to be stronger. Friendships are things I could never really harbor either, especially with people my age. To be honest, i find them annoying. Nothing is wrong with them or what they like, I just find it hard to be around them and keep up with their likes and interests. I am more comfortable with older individuals, and some of my closest friends are already married and have kids, nearly ten years my senior. I've never been in a romantic relationship before, so I don't know about that one, but I trust that whoever God has for me, if He wills that I get married, I won't have to worry about whether to let him go or not. God will let me know when I've met him.
We don't always feel God's presence with us, and as I heard in a movie just yesterday, 'The teacher is always quiet during the test.' The only persons that can know what this test is or what God is trying to teach you, are you and God. So as you live, look out for Him in everything. That's what I do, and because of it, I can smile through the storm. I hope that something from what I've said helps you and thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone.

 

[Jerklaugh]

Shoot... I used to do so many drugs its pitiful cuz of this mental problem, sorry to mention this on a Christian site. Never been an addict... Just always smart enough to not get caught. Not something I am proud of just trying to make a point. I am not a negative person at all. Just going through a divorce from a bad marriage.. I always wonder if there is a reason I don't feel God anymore. Though TBH I don't know if I ever had. .I always wanted my soulmate but I always run them off by getting too attached too soon or too distant... Oh well. Just all you peeps like me that read this., Know your not alone in what you feel. I'm 29YO and just like you and stay strong forever. If I can make it I know you all can. it will get better one day. The good book promises it.

 

[AspieGirl1105]

@Jerklaugh
I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but God is good despite it all. And I can only imagine what kind of stress this has been putting on you, hence the drinking. It's like a thing that sets us straight again, though I don't believe that it IS the only thing. I'm glad that you found God and even though you seem to still be young in the faith, it's still something to rejoice about. There are thousands of people like us, who suffer just as much or even more than we do and they don't know Christ. My heart certainly goes out to them, because even though I've been exposed to God since I was conceived, I still do the wrong things sometimes, and I still go through a lot of pain. But tribulation works patience (Romans 5:3) and when God starts a work in us, he promises to finish it.
It's okay to mention about your past problems, God is the only One that has the right to judge and once you've stopped, that's an obstacle you've done away with. No one's perfect. We must strive to be, but no one really is, only God. So don't feel bad. I do hope though, that you can find better therapy for stress relief rather than the drinking, because not only is it not good for your body, the bible says that drunkenness is a sin (Galatians 5:21). Therapy isn't just going in to talk to someone. Nowadays, there are lots of things that can be done as therapy, like home remedies, if you will. I do arts and crafts, read, music, talk to myself (this helps sooooooooooo much it's unbelievable), not in public too much, but if I have to, it might just be a murmur or two. At home though.... lol
You did mention about making things in your first post, but I don't know if you have time to do that? I could give you tonnes of advice from my own personal experiences and what I have observed about my own place on the spectrum, but I know that everyone's situation is different. My prayer for you and every other Christian Aspie out there, is to overcome the negatives of this condition in a moral and righteous way, because I know that it can be hard. Some of the things i allow myself to be involved in leaves me ashamed and so broken... and I beat myself up a lot about it, but I am learning to pull myself together and do what's right because the reality is, we don't have much time left on this earth, and i certainly don't want to miss out on an eternity with God. I know this took a different turn, lol, but I hope that you were encouraged as well as anyone else that reads this.

 

[Jerklaugh]

Just to follow up. Man I been praying like crazy and I never have feelings. Always been numb to that. I mean is just not me. I just started getting this weird feeling like a peace that surpasses all understanding. No way to describe it other than the most kind and amazing loving father wrapping his arms around his little child. I have met the most amazing woman also and she accepts me for who I am and we click so well. Thanks if anyone prayed for a random stranger they never met.

 

[Michelle Schnelker]

Man I was born with this F-ing curse and diagnosed as a child. I am normal on the outside and Been 10 years in the military but always been completely alone. I was told I had a really high IQ and I can do so many beautiful things with stuff I love. I would be an atheist but had few weird expierence several years ago that let me know God is real. I also accepted Jesus then... Since then I never have felt him or anything. I never can keep realtionships. Always drive them off. not because I'm weird or crazy just f-ing social problems. I learned to hide it so well from people I work with but never been able to make a real friend that I have kept. I have recently started drinking a lot lol. Sorry to complain just letting you all like me know your not alone...

Thank you for your honest feelings and struggles. I was recently diagnosed with the condition after suffering for decades, with medication offering no relief from behaviors as having no patience and the slightest thing that doesn't go right, can set off a emotional fit. Surely, God can work the fruit of the Spirit, Patience in Asperger's people

 

[AspieGirl1105]

@Jerklaugh
You response made my day. I am so happy that you finally found that peace and felt what it's like to be loved by God himself. Even though He never stops loving us, sometimes it's hard to be aware of it. I guess it's the misconception that Love is a feeling, like tingles and warmth bursting inside you, and yes, sometimes it does manifest that way. But love is an action word, an ocean of motion.. and the fact that God let's some of us wake up another day after the things we've done, is just one way out of countless ones, which demonstrates his love for us. But I am glad that you have found someone to help you through this and who understands and cares for you. I wish God's best for you both.

 

[dayhiker]

Hi Aspiegirl,
I have a pretty mild case of AS. I can relate to the sexual thing. It was one of my struggles when I was young. It also was confusing because my pastor didn't preach about it or did I hear others talking about it. But some of the books I read in my mid to late teens did. It was a sexual thing that isn't specifically mentioned in the Bible. So to get an answer I had to figure out how I was going to view sin with what the Bible said and didn't say.

 

[Dave-W]

I have a granddaughter who may have Aspie. (they are not sure yet) So my daughter (her mom) bought me a book a year ago called "Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger's" by John Elder Robison. It helped me to understand the situation better (and realized I have a few of those tendencies myself)

I would suggest getting a copy for your parents. And insist they read it.

 

[Lazershow1]

Im diagnosed with aspergers and have been since i was 8. It really is a struggle as i never really fit in anywhere and was shunned by not just my peers but by many of my teachers. Now though i am doing better as i have just started attending college and do not have to deal with all of the nonsense that comes with high school although i still have an extremly hard time fitting in. I however dont see my aspergers as a bad thing as it kept me out of trouble. while a lot of my peers were out doing crazy things in town, i would be home reading or playing video games so i see it as a blessing instead of a curse.