Strange homosexual attraction

[Zoleee]

Okay guys I will be extremely honest because I want this evil thing to go away. I only talked about this thing to my Mom and she helped a lot. But now I feel like I need to tell it to someone and I would really appreciate some advices.

When I was younger, I had a bad relationship with my dad. Maybe it was his fault, maybe mine, but we didn't have good relationship that's for sure. So I think because of this I started to have same-sex attractions when I was ~13-14. The strange thing, I had attractions to older males. I started to have same-sex attrations to masculanity. It really ruined my life. I had girl crushes, but in my sexuality I had these same-sex attractions. After I realized what I have, it ruined me. I started to hate myself for it. I was fighting but it always came back. It made me depressed for years, then I started to have panic attacks and then OCD too. Now I am 21 and I am still so unsure. I know I am not homosexual, I really desapprove homosexuality, but these attrations won't go away. I think I have it because of my bad relitionship with my dad. I didn't have any older males as a compass or I don't know how to write that so it occured. I never had any girlfriends, because I had fears like: "What if I am really homosexual? I don't want to lie to her and mislead her." Although I had a girl I think I loves. But I was too afraid because of this. My relitionship with my dad is still not the best, but it's much better now. After I started living a more Christian life a few years ago I stopped being rude to him etc. I am working on having a better and btter relitionship with him.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I really want to break free. Maybe you can't help but I felt like I have to write down all of these. I will pray about this every day, and I will never stop fighting. Thanks for reading all these.

 

[HomeinSalem]

Be strong brother we all fight sin, flesh will always wage war against our souls, it is written. Praying for you. Hard to give advice but if you love this girl or think you love, maybe don't think about sexual orientation and just let time tell you if that feeling is true. If you love her, time and God will show it to you. He is on your side don't forget it. Peace

 

[Goodbook]

If theres any inappropriate contentographic images in your home, get rid if it.
Just a suggestion.

I dont know why people have homosexual desires, but the bible points out something in scripture that people often overlook in Romans.

If you have something like posters of uncovered people, wether its male or female or any so called art or objects in your house, in magazines etc or on the computer. Delete them, destroy them.

 

[1watchman]

Keep in mind, friend, that being an effeminate man or a mannish woman is not homosexuality, though it can make one confused about how to relate to others. You can write me if you wish to talk about ways to cope in your life.

 

[dude99]

If theres any inappropriate contentographic images in your home, get rid if it.
Just a suggestion.

I dont know why people have homosexual desires, but the bible points out something in scripture that people often overlook in Romans.

If you have something like posters of uncovered people, wether its male or female or any so called art or objects in your house, in magazines etc or on the computer. Delete them, destroy them.

I agree that regarding inappropriate content. In addition if you have not I highly recommend you to install a filter that blocks inappropriate content.

However I strongly encourage you to seek out Christian hetrosexual male friendships and spend time with them. It bring growth to you. It is advisable for you to confess your struggles to a trusting strong Christian guy.

Overall spending time with the Lord and reading the bible really helps.

 

[jsmithcavs]

Zoleee, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. Like you, I'm also going through something similar - which is how I found this site. I used to live a homosexual lifestyle until Jesus saved me back in 2013. My eyes have been opened for sure and I realize how detestable this is to the Lord. I left everything and everyone in that lifestyle behind to follow Him.

Lately, I have been getting these feelings for a coworker. He's heterosexual and married and to be quite honest, I hate these feelings. I can't seem to get rid of them completely. I've never had a heterosexual male be so kind and say "I love you". I believe this is what started these feelings. We've been "work buddies" for about a year now, talk a lot while at work and I'm not sure what to do. I seem to be finding myself feeling sad/down after talking to him. I've been praying on this for quite some time now and I think my only option might be to block him out for a while - no phone calls, no texts. He's a driver where I work so I don't have to worry about seeing him often. Brothers/Sisters, can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? I can't tell him about these feelings. Would it be cold for me to just block him out for a while? Part of me feels this isn't a way to treat a friend. On the other hand, I've got to do what I've got to do to follow Christ. All I know is, I'm ready to move forward from this.

 

[dude99]

Zoleee, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. Like you, I'm also going through something similar - which is how I found this site. I used to live a homosexual lifestyle until Jesus saved me back in 2013. My eyes have been opened for sure and I realize how detestable this is to the Lord. I left everything and everyone in that lifestyle behind to follow Him.

Lately, I have been getting these feelings for a coworker. He's heterosexual and married and to be quite honest, I hate these feelings. I can't seem to get rid of them completely. I've never had a heterosexual male be so kind and say "I love you". I believe this is what started these feelings. We've been "work buddies" for about a year now, talk a lot while at work and I'm not sure what to do. I seem to be finding myself feeling sad/down after talking to him. I've been praying on this for quite some time now and I think my only option might be to block him out for a while - no phone calls, no texts. He's a driver where I work so I don't have to worry about seeing him often. Brothers/Sisters, can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? I can't tell him about these feelings. Would it be cold for me to just block him out for a while? Part of me feels this isn't a way to treat a friend. On the other hand, I've got to do what I've got to do to follow Christ. All I know is, I'm ready to move forward from this.

Hi there I can relate as I used to experience something like what you experienced at work. I no longer work at that workplace yet it is very important to pray about the situation and to pray for the guy. Does he know you are Christian? If not I urge you to share that. Also if you wish to discuss subjects that do not relate to the workplace then I strongly encourage you to share the good news of Jesus Christ to him as well. Unfortunately I did not share with the guy I was attracted to at work I am a Christian or share the good news of Jesus to him. One thing I truly regret right up to this day is not sharing the good news of Jesus to him. I know I won't have another opportunity to see him again as I did discover he has unfortunately is now deceased which is a total shock to me and those that knew him. I never did ever know he was a Christian or not. Yet what helped my journey overall was to hang out with a group of males from church and that did help my journey. If you have not done that I strongly recommend you to find a group of guys in your church, even a men's bible study group will help so much for people like you. In addition avoid looking at inappropriate content as I noticed that my temptations are stronger not after I look at inappropriate content and the longer I abstain the lesser the temptations I tend to get. I will pray for you and the OP. God Bless.

 

[1watchman]

Okay guys I will be extremely honest because I want this evil thing to go away. I only talked about this thing to my Mom and she helped a lot. But now I feel like I need to tell it to someone and I would really appreciate some advices.

When I was younger, I had a bad relationship with my dad. Maybe it was his fault, maybe mine, but we didn't have good relationship that's for sure. So I think because of this I started to have same-sex attractions when I was ~13-14. The strange thing, I had attractions to older males. I started to have same-sex attrations to masculanity. It really ruined my life. I had girl crushes, but in my sexuality I had these same-sex attractions. After I realized what I have, it ruined me. I started to hate myself for it. I was fighting but it always came back. It made me depressed for years, then I started to have panic attacks and then OCD too. Now I am 21 and I am still so unsure. I know I am not homosexual, I really desapprove homosexuality, but these attrations won't go away. I think I have it because of my bad relitionship with my dad. I didn't have any older males as a compass or I don't know how to write that so it occured. I never had any girlfriends, because I had fears like: "What if I am really homosexual? I don't want to lie to her and mislead her." Although I had a girl I think I loves. But I was too afraid because of this. My relitionship with my dad is still not the best, but it's much better now. After I started living a more Christian life a few years ago I stopped being rude to him etc. I am working on having a better and btter relitionship with him.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I really want to break free. Maybe you can't help but I felt like I have to write down all of these. I will pray about this every day, and I will never stop fighting. Thanks for reading all these.

Part of the problem might be a bad relationship with a parent, but much of it is also physiological and lack of helpful guidance (inquire at Biblecounsel.net which speaks of this). I have a good paper from that source on this which can be much help. Write me personally if you are interested. Look up always!

 

[seekingmuch]

I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I really want to break free. Maybe you can't help but I felt like I have to write down all of these. I will pray about this every day, and I will never stop fighting. Thanks for reading all these.

Like some women have daddy issues and look to guys way older them, maybe you are doing the same thing unconsciously?

 

[Messerve]

Zoleee, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. Like you, I'm also going through something similar - which is how I found this site. I used to live a homosexual lifestyle until Jesus saved me back in 2013. My eyes have been opened for sure and I realize how detestable this is to the Lord. I left everything and everyone in that lifestyle behind to follow Him.

Lately, I have been getting these feelings for a coworker. He's heterosexual and married and to be quite honest, I hate these feelings. I can't seem to get rid of them completely. I've never had a heterosexual male be so kind and say "I love you". I believe this is what started these feelings. We've been "work buddies" for about a year now, talk a lot while at work and I'm not sure what to do. I seem to be finding myself feeling sad/down after talking to him. I've been praying on this for quite some time now and I think my only option might be to block him out for a while - no phone calls, no texts. He's a driver where I work so I don't have to worry about seeing him often. Brothers/Sisters, can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? I can't tell him about these feelings. Would it be cold for me to just block him out for a while? Part of me feels this isn't a way to treat a friend. On the other hand, I've got to do what I've got to do to follow Christ. All I know is, I'm ready to move forward from this.

Hmmm... I wouldn't suggest you completely remove this co-worker from your life, but I would strongly suggest you pray hard about your relationship with him. As you say, he's married. So acting in any way on that attraction (assuming he went along with it) would cause irreversible damage to his own life. Do you want that? Plus, if he knows you're a Christian, you've also destroyed any chance of sharing your faith with him. So, really, it would be an act of condemnation against him, disguised as an act of love but actually a giant lie straight from Satan.

So my #1 suggestion... As 1watchman said, you need to share your faith with this co-worker. Harness that attraction and use that love for him to lead you to sharing your faith with him. Because that's the greatest act of love you can do for him. Plus, once you've shared your faith your identity as a Christian is out of the bag and I would guess your relationship with him will change to that of brotherly love instead of potentially romantic.

 

[Messerve]

Oh, I see this is an old post... How did that turn out for you, jsmithcavs?

 

[Barnabas2]

Okay guys I will be extremely honest because I want this evil thing to go away. I only talked about this thing to my Mom and she helped a lot. But now I feel like I need to tell it to someone and I would really appreciate some advices.

When I was younger, I had a bad relationship with my dad. Maybe it was his fault, maybe mine, but we didn't have good relationship that's for sure. So I think because of this I started to have same-sex attractions when I was ~13-14. The strange thing, I had attractions to older males. I started to have same-sex attrations to masculanity. It really ruined my life. I had girl crushes, but in my sexuality I had these same-sex attractions. After I realized what I have, it ruined me. I started to hate myself for it. I was fighting but it always came back. It made me depressed for years, then I started to have panic attacks and then OCD too. Now I am 21 and I am still so unsure. I know I am not homosexual, I really desapprove homosexuality, but these attrations won't go away. I think I have it because of my bad relitionship with my dad. I didn't have any older males as a compass or I don't know how to write that so it occured. I never had any girlfriends, because I had fears like: "What if I am really homosexual? I don't want to lie to her and mislead her." Although I had a girl I think I loves. But I was too afraid because of this. My relitionship with my dad is still not the best, but it's much better now. After I started living a more Christian life a few years ago I stopped being rude to him etc. I am working on having a better and btter relitionship with him.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I really want to break free. Maybe you can't help but I felt like I have to write down all of these. I will pray about this every day, and I will never stop fighting. Thanks for reading all these.

 

[Barnabas2]

I want to encourage everyone who is struggling with temptation of any kind.

There is victory in Jesus! Hear what the Word of God says:-

1. 1 Corinthians 10:13. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it.

Please note, everyone of us are and will be until we arrive in heaven, subject to temptation. Yours is no different to anyone else's. However, please remember, temptation is not sin. It only becomes sin when we yield to it and give in to it. Don't let the devil make life miserable for you because you are tempted. Every believer is tempted. Our Saviour was tempted but didn't sin.

God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. That is, the temptation will never be too strong for you to overcome.

The way of escape is not from temptation but through temptation. He will give you grace to stand firm under it and through it victoriously.

1) James 4:7. Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Victory over temptation and sin is dependant on three things.

A) You are born again. You have been converted to Christ. (To anyone reading this who is not a believer) If you are not born again then you are and will be a slave to sin and Satan. If you are not born again then it is imperative you seek the Lord while He may be found and call on Him while He is near. You must be born again. John Chapter 3.

B) As a believer you must be in submission to the Lord. Jesus must be Lord of all or He is not Lord at all. Have you handed they keys of every department in your life over to Him? This is so important if you are seeking victory in you life. In Ps. 66:18 it says, "If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened". Sin, any sin cherished, will cause God to refuse to listen to your requests. If you sincerely have confessed, repented and genuinely sought to turn away from sin you are in a good place, even if you at present are struggling and maybe experiencing failure from time to time. God's ear is still open to your hearts cry.

C) “Resist the devil and he will flee from you”. Read that slowly and let it sink deep into your sub consciousness. “Resist the devil and he will flee from you". You will not buckle under his lying temptations. He will run away from you. As you trust the Lord and seek His face Satan is terrified and knows he is defeated. His temptations are lies. He cannot give what he promises. Only God can do that. Satan cannot make you do anything you don't want to do. Satan tempts us to bring out the worst in us. God tests us to bring out the best in us.

Do what Jesus did. Find a Bible promise suitable to your particular type of temptation. Believe it. Quote it to Satan. Steadfastly resist his lying attempts to drag you down into sin. God will come to your aid and Satan will - must - flee from you. If on occasions you may slip or fall run to 1 John 1:9 immediately. That is the infallible remedy.

This is the promise of God. Believe and now go and prove it. Be careful to give God all the glory.

 

[Barnabas2]

Zoleee, I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. Like you, I'm also going through something similar - which is how I found this site. I used to live a homosexual lifestyle until Jesus saved me back in 2013. My eyes have been opened for sure and I realize how detestable this is to the Lord. I left everything and everyone in that lifestyle behind to follow Him.

Lately, I have been getting these feelings for a coworker. He's heterosexual and married and to be quite honest, I hate these feelings. I can't seem to get rid of them completely. I've never had a heterosexual male be so kind and say "I love you". I believe this is what started these feelings. We've been "work buddies" for about a year now, talk a lot while at work and I'm not sure what to do. I seem to be finding myself feeling sad/down after talking to him. I've been praying on this for quite some time now and I think my only option might be to block him out for a while - no phone calls, no texts. He's a driver where I work so I don't have to worry about seeing him often. Brothers/Sisters, can anyone give me some advice on how to handle this? I can't tell him about these feelings. Would it be cold for me to just block him out for a while? Part of me feels this isn't a way to treat a friend. On the other hand, I've got to do what I've got to do to follow Christ. All I know is, I'm ready to move forward from this.

Hi Meserve. God bless you brother. Please don't block your co-worker out. Pray daily for him that you may have the joy of leading him to Christ. Don't share your feelings with him whatsoever. It would be unkind to him and not helpful to you, rather the reverse.

Have a read of this. May it be a help and a blessing to you.

James 1:12-15. Temptation.


Temptation is common to all of us. Temptation is not sin. Our blessed Lord was tempted and He was without sin. Satan tempts us to bring out the worst in us, God tests us to bring out the best in us. We are told, blessed is the man that endures temptation. Temptations of every kind. It’s not a one-off experience. Trials and temptations are to be endured. They are allowed by God to bring out the best in us. To develop the muscle of faith. If you endure them you will be rewarded with the crown of life. The Lord Himself will give you the victors crown of life. Enduring temptation for Jesus sake is an evidence of your love for Him. When you are tempted have the mindset of Joseph of old who when tempted to commit adultery with Potiphar's wife, fled from her presence saying, “How can I commit this great wickedness and sin against God!" Temptations never come from God. God never tempts anyone with evil. God is immune to temptation and He is

too kind to tempt anyone.

Every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lusts and enticed. The human race is comprised of flawed beings as a result of the fall. Even in believers there is the remnant of our old nature. Satan, with his lying temptations seeks to stir up our old nature and draw us into sin. Always remember that beneath the temptation (the bait) there is a barbed hook designed to entrap you. The pleasantry of the object offered as an enticement is no other than flattery and deceit. If you take the bait it will result in pain, sorrow, guilt, shame and sadness. Satan cannot deliver on his promises; only God is able to do that. Satan is a liar and the father of lies. If you are a believer, he cannot make you do anything. Read Colossians 2:14-15. Through the cross work of Jesus Satan and sin have been defeated and disarmed on our account. We are God’s freemen who have trusted Christ. We are on the winning side. Our Captain Jesus is leading us on from victory to victory. Hallelujah! Do what James tells us to do in James 4:7. “Submit yourself therefore unto God, resist the devil and he will flee from you". Let him do the running, not you. Believe it dear brother and live in the good of it.

 

[Messerve]

Hi Meserve. God bless you brother. Please don't block your co-worker out. Pray daily for him that you may have the joy of leading him to Christ. Don't share your feelings with him whatsoever. It would be unkind to him and not helpful to you, rather the reverse.

Have a read of this. May it be a help and a blessing to you.

James 1:12-15. Temptation.


Temptation is common to all of us. Temptation is not sin. Our blessed Lord was tempted and He was without sin. Satan tempts us to bring out the worst in us, God tests us to bring out the best in us. We are told, blessed is the man that endures temptation. Temptations of every kind. It’s not a one-off experience. Trials and temptations are to be endured. They are allowed by God to bring out the best in us. To develop the muscle of faith. If you endure them you will be rewarded with the crown of life. The Lord Himself will give you the victors crown of life. Enduring temptation for Jesus sake is an evidence of your love for Him. When you are tempted have the mindset of Joseph of old who when tempted to commit adultery with Potiphar's wife, fled from her presence saying, “How can I commit this great wickedness and sin against God!" Temptations never come from God. God never tempts anyone with evil. God is immune to temptation and He is

too kind to tempt anyone.

Every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lusts and enticed. The human race is comprised of flawed beings as a result of the fall. Even in believers there is the remnant of our old nature. Satan, with his lying temptations seeks to stir up our old nature and draw us into sin. Always remember that beneath the temptation (the bait) there is a barbed hook designed to entrap you. The pleasantry of the object offered as an enticement is no other than flattery and deceit. If you take the bait it will result in pain, sorrow, guilt, shame and sadness. Satan cannot deliver on his promises; only God is able to do that. Satan is a liar and the father of lies. If you are a believer, he cannot make you do anything. Read Colossians 2:14-15. Through the cross work of Jesus Satan and sin have been defeated and disarmed on our account. We are God’s freemen who have trusted Christ. We are on the winning side. Our Captain Jesus is leading us on from victory to victory. Hallelujah! Do what James tells us to do in James 4:7. “Submit yourself therefore unto God, resist the devil and he will flee from you". Let him do the running, not you. Believe it dear brother and live in the good of it.

Well, I was actually responding to another responder (respondee? ), and I think that guy never came back to say how things went for him. But I agree with all you've said, and this is valuable advice for everyone no matter what their attraction seems to be. I particularly agree with your point that beneath the surface there is always a barbed hook waiting for us.

 

[Barnabas2]

Well, I was actually responding to another responder (respondee? ), and I think that guy never came back to say how things went for him. But I agree with all you've said, and this is valuable advice for everyone no matter what their attraction seems to be. I particularly agree with your point that beneath the surface there is always a barbed hook waiting for us.

My apologies.

 

[salt-n-light]

Okay guys I will be extremely honest because I want this evil thing to go away. I only talked about this thing to my Mom and she helped a lot. But now I feel like I need to tell it to someone and I would really appreciate some advices.

When I was younger, I had a bad relationship with my dad. Maybe it was his fault, maybe mine, but we didn't have good relationship that's for sure. So I think because of this I started to have same-sex attractions when I was ~13-14. The strange thing, I had attractions to older males. I started to have same-sex attrations to masculanity. It really ruined my life. I had girl crushes, but in my sexuality I had these same-sex attractions. After I realized what I have, it ruined me. I started to hate myself for it. I was fighting but it always came back. It made me depressed for years, then I started to have panic attacks and then OCD too. Now I am 21 and I am still so unsure. I know I am not homosexual, I really desapprove homosexuality, but these attrations won't go away. I think I have it because of my bad relitionship with my dad. I didn't have any older males as a compass or I don't know how to write that so it occured. I never had any girlfriends, because I had fears like: "What if I am really homosexual? I don't want to lie to her and mislead her." Although I had a girl I think I loves. But I was too afraid because of this. My relitionship with my dad is still not the best, but it's much better now. After I started living a more Christian life a few years ago I stopped being rude to him etc. I am working on having a better and btter relitionship with him.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost, and I really want to break free. Maybe you can't help but I felt like I have to write down all of these. I will pray about this every day, and I will never stop fighting. Thanks for reading all these.

Recognize that no matter what the culture or society have set, everyone struggles with how they must address their bodies and the desires. Your attraction like any other attraction is not beyond or unique or foreign to God. It may be beyond certain people, but God knows all and doesn't give us more than we can bear. When it comes to sexual attractions, no one would be able to say that they were perfect in its dealings when we see God. It is not a sin feeling what you are feeling, but we are responsible for what we choose to do and everything have consequences.

Fortunately, Jesus have address the responsibility we have towards the body given. Know that this body is a temple, and that how you treat it affects the spirit and vice versa. Society treat it as if its something that we can do whatever we please. But your body have purpose, it is a vessel. Saying all that because we are all born in sin, all of us are not born with perfect desires. Not one. And sometimes traumatic events can further bring about blockages in terms of how we view life. That is why we pray that we continuously have God's desires in our day to day walk.

So in order to have peace, you have to first recognize where you are mind-wise and not shame yourself, again all of us struggled, and throughout the bible many have struggled as well. We all are tempted, even Jesus was. Shame will not get you anywhere.

Secondly, go back to basics, before you even cared about attraction, you are a man, you are God's child, so therefore your identity needs to be only focused on those two things. And study on the Word and what is actually required of you.

Thirdly, reflect on what's going on in your environment. What type of friends are you bringing, things you're listening to,ideas you are harboring in your heart? You said that it could be a situation where you are longing for a masculine figure, and its hard to say on my end if it is so. Heck for me, there is some things I can pinpoint, but some is habit, some is ideas I didnt know that I can even think of. But I know no matter what may have affected you and from where and when, God will always be the answer. Line those situations up against the word, not for the sake of de-gaying yourself. But for the sake of honoring the covenant between you and God. Idk how at the end that would look like relationship-wise, but Jesus said that if you're not willing to make heavy sacrifices you are not worthy of being his disciple at the end of the day. (Matthew 10:37). But if you trust what God have promised for you in this walk, you will be rewarded, and it is worth it.

And with technology, we can easily see testimonies of others who have walked where you've been and God have blessed their lives in different ways, you can youtube and their is alot of them! Also people here, including me, who is walking with God day by day.