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Straight Christian Privilege Checklist

Discussion in 'Whosoever Will, May Come - Liberal' started by HappyKitty, Mar 14, 2010.

  1. HappyKitty

    HappyKitty Newbie

    Here's some food for thought. With acknowledgements to Peggy McIntosh's "Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack"

    As a straight Christian, in all these four aspects of life (Marriage and relationships, political and social, growing up and personal development, and life in Christ), the following applies to me:


    - I can, all other things being equal, expect to be able to marry my significant other in the church of my choice.

    - I can be reasonably sure, if I need prayerful counsel and spiritual guidance in my relationship with my spouse or significant other, that I can find a Christian-oriented counsellor or literature that will cater to me.

    - All other things being equal, I have a good chance of finding palatable romantic partners through Christian dating services.

    - If I decide to pursue a relationship which turns out badly, I can expect that my Christian friends will only admonish me for a lack of discernment at most - they will not use the failed relationship as evidence of my "brokenness", or use the incident as an opportunity to steer me toward a celibate life, or to change my sexual orientation.

    - I can be confident that the loving, nurturing relationship I share with my spouse or significant other will not be likened to incest, pedophilia or bestiality by my brothers and sisters in Christ.

    - If I ask a Christian friend for sincere and frank advice about my relationship, I can be certain that they will not advise me to change my sexual orientation.

    - If I have been cohabiting or having premarital sex with my significant other, and a Christian friend decides to rebuke us, I can expect that they will, at most, advise us to refrain from sexual contact until we are married - not that we cease our relationship entirely (provided there are no other issues which would make our relationship inadvisable). In any case, their rebuke will not involve a call for us to change our sexual orientation.

    - I can hold hands with (or even kiss) my spouse or significant other in a public place without worrying that my brothers and sisters in Christ will shy their children away from the "display".

    - I don’t have to worry about being separated or uninvited to a Christian event because of the sex of my spouse or significant other.

    - I do not have to worry that the legality of my marriage will be put to a vote - a vote in which the majority of those voting to dissolve that marriage are my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.


    - I do not have to fear being fired or being pressured to resign from any Christian-run business or ministry due to the discovery of my sexual orientation.

    - I will never feel the need to exclude, isolate, hide, suppress or oppress, a part of who I am within my church, family or my Christian social circles—and be encouraged to do so, simply because of my sexuality.

    - I can be pro-gay - even vocally so; and while a good number of Christians will not support my pro-gay stance, I can be certain that they will, at most, admonish me to change my opinion; they will not demand that I cease any and all intimate relationships I may have with any other persons of my sexual orientation.

    - I can be reasonably sure that people of my sexual orientation will not call me "a traitor to my kind" for my decision to accept Christ. Furthermore, while I am aware that truly accepting Christ involves sacrifice, some of which could involve estrangement from friends and family (Matthew 10:34-39), I can also be reasonably sure, all other things being equal, that I can find new friends (and possibly a significant other) within the Christian church.

    - I can go to a strange church, knowing nothing of their politics or theology, and not dread that the topic of this week's sermon will be the "evil" or the "problem" of my sexual orientation.

    - I will never have to worry about a church admonishing or advising my family to disown or repudiate me simply because of my sexuality.

    - I do not fear being pressured into treatment or conversion therapy if I am open about my attraction to members of the opposite sex.

    - I do not have to fear that doors will be closed on me by fellow Christians in business, investments, connections, employment or references based on my sexual orientation.

    - I know that we are all sinners in need of healing - otherwise, Christ's life and sacrifice would not be necessary to the world's salvation, nor would we need His church to guide us in our relationship with God; and since we are all sinners, I know that it is entirely possible that one of my brothers or sisters in Christ might, in a moment of weakness, succumb to temptation. They may, in following this evil whim, vandalize my property, or cause harm to me or my family and friends - they may even commit murder. While I trust in the Lord and realize that such violence stems from our sinful nature and from the twisted machinations of Satan on vulnerable human beings, I can be quite confident, all other things being equal, that any such violence will not be motivated, even in part, by my sexual orientation.


    - I can volunteer for children or youth ministry work without being deemed "unsafe" due to my sexual orientation.

    - I can be sure that, while growing up, I can expect to be exposed to positive role models who share my sexual orientation.

    - I don’t have to worry about my children being taught that their parent’s relationship is an abomination in Sunday school. If I am still growing up and am in Sunday school or a youth group, I will not learn that my sexual orientation is an abomination.

    - All other things being equal, I can be reasonably certain that the quality of my upbringing or the competency of my parents will not be brought into question because of my sexual orientation.

    - Growing up, I can expect to receive guidance about healthy sexual expression and relationships.

    - All education and advice from Christian sources concerning family planning, upbringing and child-rearing will be specifically (and often deliberately) tailored to my sexual orientation.

    - My sexual orientation is not a barrier to my adopting children through a Christian adoption agency, or fostering children, so that they might grow up in a Christian home.

    - Should I divorce or be separated from my spouse or significant other, and that person should later decide that they wish to change their sexual orientation, or discover that they should had been living as a person of the wrong sexual orientation all along, my church will likely be more sympathetic to my case, should the custody of our children become an issue, regardless of my abilities as a parent.


    - I can be sure that no Christian church of any denomination will immediately reject me for my sexual orientation.

    - Any time I sin (sexually or otherwise), my sin will not be automatically attributed to my sexual orientation.

    - I can probably find favourable reviews in many Christian book, film or theatre reviews of books, films or shows featuring intimate, loving relationships between two people of my sexual orientation.

    - I do not, if I choose not to, have to be familiar with various biblical interpretations of my sexual orientation, nor will I be expected to justify and reconcile my beliefs with my sexual orientation through biblical exegesis.

    - I have the luxury of choosing which denomination I will belong to or which church I will attend based on their doctrinal stance, missionary or charity work, fellowship programs and statement of faith; I am not restricted in my choices based on whether or not the church affirms my sexual orientation.

    - If part of my faith involves the belief that same-sex relationships are sinful, then I can openly call all gay Christians to live celibate lives in order to avoid sexual sin - indeed, a vow of celibacy is understood as potentially beneficial in almost all Christian traditions, in certain contexts (Matthew 19:10-12, 1 Corinthians 7:25-35); however, I am under no such compulsion to live a celibate life myself. For me, living a chaste life does not necessarily mean living a celibate life.

    - I don’t have to worry about being segregated from others of my gender at Christian events or conferences because my sexuality is known.

    - The church is sometimes described as a hospital for sinners; its pastors, priests, ministers, etc. are the physicians and nurses who help us in our quest to get well. While no one expects everyone to be fully and completely "healthy" at all times (in a church as in a hospital), a physician with an obvious and untreated flu should not be allowed to practice surgery, for the health of the patient. Similarly, it is understandable that a congregation might disallow some members from being active in various ministries, if they are indeed living with an obvious and unrepented sin. I acknowledge that I might be asked to leave my ministry position if I develop habits that run contradictory to a life in Christ (uninhibited alcohol or drug use, a propensity for anger or violence, untrustworthiness, petty theft, etc.). However, my sexual orientation will never be considered an illness requiring treatment, and a barrier to my participation in ministry work at my church. Furthermore, while I acknowledge that, if I wish to rejoin the ministry, I may have to undergo some therapy program, whether in the church or outside of it (Alcoholics Anonymous, anger management therapy, etc.), the cost of these programs are generally low, if not free - much less than therapy or counselling to change my sexual orientation would be, in any case.

    Feel free to reproduce and distribute. God bless!
  2. pgp_protector

    pgp_protector Noted strange person

    Saving this page (literally onto my Harddrive :D )
  3. lux et lex

    lux et lex light and law

    So very very true.
  4. TheManeki

    TheManeki Christian Humanist

    And double if you're a male straight Christian, because you can be a pastor and tell women they're going to hell if they don't listen to you. :ebil:
  5. camethodactor

    camethodactor Newbie

    Preach it! The list is dead on.
  6. PassionFruit

    PassionFruit I woke up like dis

    Fantastic. :thumbsup:
  7. Blade

    Blade Veteran Supporter

    yet not one bible verse is given. Yes the world will rejoice with you. Sorry there is no middle ground. We you .. me serve one hate the other. What the flesh wants the flesh gets.
  8. indigo tree

    indigo tree Guest

    Actually there were bible verses in there. I thought it was quite good. Thanks for sharing, Happy Kitty.
  9. JCFantasy23

    JCFantasy23 In a Kingdom by the Sea Staff Member Administrator Supporter CF Senior Ambassador Angels Team

    United States
    Thanks for sharing, I also thought it was quite good. We can have posts without bible verses around here sometimes. We can express our minds and beliefs of the bible without just quoting it all the time.
  10. HappyKitty

    HappyKitty Newbie


    Are you saying that nothing in the list is true?
  11. Catherineanne

    Catherineanne Gone

    You are absolutely right, Blade. There were no Bible verses given which justify this clear prejudice in our society and faith towards a heterosexual lifesyle, in contradistinction to a gay one.

    There are certainly Bible verses in condemnation of a Hellenic pederastic lifestyle, which I would agree with, and I am pretty sure most gay people would also agree with; none of us, gay or straight, want to offer our young sons to be brought up by strangers with the expectation that they will be the subject of routine, prolonged sexual activity as part of their education. THAT is the culture that Judaism speaks against, and I don't think anyone today, unless they are seriously damaged, would want to defend that culture of pederasty in any way.

    But there are none about hetero being better than gay marriage whatever.

    Spot on, brother.
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2010
  12. TheManeki

    TheManeki Christian Humanist

    What!?! You mean I can't use the Bible to beat down people who i have personal hangups about? Then what's the point of being a Christian? :doh:
  13. AzA

    AzA NF | NT

    It's kind of funny-sad that the people I might forward that checklist too might perceive it as me lobbying against them.

    That's the state of things right now; we are so ridiculously fractured.
  14. Catherineanne

    Catherineanne Gone

    Certainly you can use the Bible to beat people down with; many thousands of our dear brothers and sisters do this every day; no doubt it has even happened on this very Forum once or twice in its history. You may find that hard to believe; I do as well, but it happens.

    The problem comes if you try to find authority from Scripture to use what it says as a WMD. Paul advises Timothy to use Scripture for instruction, but says nothing about beating people up with it, and causing them to stumble. And Isaiah says if you follow just the word of Scripture, you can miss the way completely. So does the Lord, in fact, when he advocates seeking out the heart of the law, as opposed to just the word.

    What is the point of being a Christian without Scriptural WMD? Well, that one, dear TM, is for each one of us to find out. ^_^
  15. Cyxgun

    Cyxgun Newbie

    What are you saying here? I can't make heads or tails of this.
  16. HELENz

    HELENz Love is the meaning to the world

    In Relationship
    I second Cyxgun. And, I like this OP. Fantastic. Thanks for posting! =)
  17. TheDag

    TheDag I don't like titles

    there is another thread started that asks a few questions including what can someone do about this so called privledge. Would be interesting to see comments from those so quick to agree here.
  18. Izdaari

    Izdaari Episcopalutheran (TEC/ELCA)

    I think a lot of the observations in the OP's article are true.

    But it's all a little outside of my personal experience, never having been a 'straight' Christian.
  19. Marius27

    Marius27 Newbie

    Matthew 7 - don't judge.