Just wanted to share my thoughts concerning chasing people. Face it, we have all done it. Maybe you wanted to fit in because you were the outcast. Or maybe you wanted to win someone's heart over. Either way there is a desire to chase this person(s) down. However, after a while a pattern emerges: you realize that you're the only one chasing after them. And either several things take place: you continue to chase after those people or you give up. Most of the time it's the former. As I've heard it said, we have a desire to be seen. That is true, we are social creatures in which we are wired to connect and reach out. That being said, I want to share a few things considering the matter:
In my case, I found myself reaching out to people because I wanted to hear from them, wanting to become friends. Or in the case of someone I was attracted to, I would contact them EVERY SINGLE DAY. If I didn't reach out, then I felt something was wrong with me... with me!!! Not the other person, even if I didn't hear from them. I held myself responsible since I felt like I would lose that person- friend, crush, or what have you. Yet later, I realized it wasn't worth it. Time, effort, and emotions where being wasted, all for nothing.
To reiterate , it's just not worth it. If people are interested, then they'll reach out. And I don't mean those who reach out to ask for a favor. Those are people who use you for their benefit. I don't mean those people, I mean those who actually care about you. Those who want to hear from you and see how you are doing. Now, those people are worth it. Friendship is a two-way street, with a mutual desire to connect and follow up.
Plus, there is nothing like self-care. I cannot stress that enough. There will be times where people won't be around and you don't need to wait on anyone anymore. Not to be anti-social or anything but I mean it is a good thing to spend time on your own! No obligations, no rules, no emotional drainage. You get to pick and choose where you want to go and what you want to do. You don't have to worry about anyone disagreeing with you or judging you. You can do whatever you want and it is honestly one of the best feelings in the world. I remember spending a nice afternoon to myself recently. I went to a food festival and had a nice walk home. I remember thinking, I'm by myself and it feels great whereas before, I would be complaining that no one is with me. I used to feel so awkward going to the movies by myself but now I love it. In fact, I prefer it. Usually when I go with people, they spend so much time talking and joking around in the movie that it talks the focus away. Like okay guys, it's great chatting and all, but I came to see the movie ok? Thanks! haha. But by myself, I can avoid sitting near people (unless it's packed, then I have no choice). Nevertheless, I love it. I hope to do more as time rolls on such as a concert or going somewhere nice. Life's just too short, and too short wasting it on unnecessary folk!
So do yourself a favor, take yourself out every now and then, and you'll see that it is amazing. Be content with yourself first, and friends will follow. Don't chase anyone who who chase after you. It's just not worth it anymore. Save yourself the stress and live your best life!
Please don't take is as a manner of discouraging fellowship/isolationism. That is not what this post is about. It's about letting go of those who aren't meant to be in your life. God knows our desire for fellowship and He'll provide the right people without the stress. Those are the ones worth pursuing as the feeling is mutual.
- Chasing after people is unhealthy
Think about it, the mental strain that takes a toll on you. The diminishing hope and expectations with arising disappointments and despair. You find yourself always miserable and unhappy. Maybe "it's me" you think and thus you further feel ashamed. - Chasing after people is unnecessary
Why chase someone who isn't interested in you? Why prioritize someone when you're not on the forefront of their minds, not even an afterthought? Friends, it is futile. It is just not worth it. - Chasing after people is annoying
see 1&2
In my case, I found myself reaching out to people because I wanted to hear from them, wanting to become friends. Or in the case of someone I was attracted to, I would contact them EVERY SINGLE DAY. If I didn't reach out, then I felt something was wrong with me... with me!!! Not the other person, even if I didn't hear from them. I held myself responsible since I felt like I would lose that person- friend, crush, or what have you. Yet later, I realized it wasn't worth it. Time, effort, and emotions where being wasted, all for nothing.
To reiterate , it's just not worth it. If people are interested, then they'll reach out. And I don't mean those who reach out to ask for a favor. Those are people who use you for their benefit. I don't mean those people, I mean those who actually care about you. Those who want to hear from you and see how you are doing. Now, those people are worth it. Friendship is a two-way street, with a mutual desire to connect and follow up.
Plus, there is nothing like self-care. I cannot stress that enough. There will be times where people won't be around and you don't need to wait on anyone anymore. Not to be anti-social or anything but I mean it is a good thing to spend time on your own! No obligations, no rules, no emotional drainage. You get to pick and choose where you want to go and what you want to do. You don't have to worry about anyone disagreeing with you or judging you. You can do whatever you want and it is honestly one of the best feelings in the world. I remember spending a nice afternoon to myself recently. I went to a food festival and had a nice walk home. I remember thinking, I'm by myself and it feels great whereas before, I would be complaining that no one is with me. I used to feel so awkward going to the movies by myself but now I love it. In fact, I prefer it. Usually when I go with people, they spend so much time talking and joking around in the movie that it talks the focus away. Like okay guys, it's great chatting and all, but I came to see the movie ok? Thanks! haha. But by myself, I can avoid sitting near people (unless it's packed, then I have no choice). Nevertheless, I love it. I hope to do more as time rolls on such as a concert or going somewhere nice. Life's just too short, and too short wasting it on unnecessary folk!
So do yourself a favor, take yourself out every now and then, and you'll see that it is amazing. Be content with yourself first, and friends will follow. Don't chase anyone who who chase after you. It's just not worth it anymore. Save yourself the stress and live your best life!
Please don't take is as a manner of discouraging fellowship/isolationism. That is not what this post is about. It's about letting go of those who aren't meant to be in your life. God knows our desire for fellowship and He'll provide the right people without the stress. Those are the ones worth pursuing as the feeling is mutual.
