Stepping away from a lot for awhile

Unofficial Reverand Alex

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Greetings, fellow humans! I announce with mixed emotions that I will be stepping away from Christian Forums for awhile, along with all my daily e-mails, and other "extras" with my spiritual life. Much of the following is most of a copy of an e-mail I sent to my superiors on the Angels Team:


Have you ever read the book Blue Like Jazz? It's an interesting description of a guy's modern spiritual journey. There is one point in it where Don, the author & main character, describes his rise in Christian prominence, as he becomes a high-profile pastor of a group on the West Coast. I don't remember details on this background, but what it leads to is my reason for mentioning it.

He talked about a time when he looked amazing from the outside, saying he'll pray for people & doing good Christian things, but on the inside, he felt lost. This was very difficult to describe to people, and it led to a confusing conversation with the head pastor of his church, as he was trying to say that he needed to take a break from what he's doing to try to figure things out, without being sure of what it was that he needed to figure out.

One line in particular sticks out to me, and I'll quote it as best as I can remember it. This is while Don is talking to his pastor about needing to take a break from his duties:

"I just said to a guy, 'The Lord bless you.' What does that even mean? Am I really meaning what I say, or am I just saying it to sound good? I know people appreciate it, but I don't know where I am on the inside."

The reason this sticks out now is because this is kind of how I'm feeling on the Prayer Wall. I feel that I can write some pretty good prayers; short, simple, but friendly & encouraging. But I really don't feel like I'm doing much. Frankly, I feel this way about a lot of this forum. And it's not the forum, but I've been feeling more & more like I should just step away for awhile, get better track of what I'm doing, without really being sure of why I feel this way.

I've actually been cropping out several things like this; I'm unsubscribing from Catholic daily e-mail lists, doing less specific devotions, and just really trying to focus on God. All these things, Dynamic Catholic e-mails & Christian Forums & the like, have been very good for helping me focus on God, but for reasons I don't understand, I'm feeling overwhelmed when I have this input.

All this is to say: I would like to step away from all my online devotions, including Christian Forums, for awhile. Please know that I will continue praying for you & for everything that happens on the Prayer Wall, even if I'm not reading what's posted on there. God knows it's there, and I can pray that He reads it a little closer than I do.

I will also make a public post, requesting prayers as I step away from a lot for awhile, but I wanting to ask my superiors first. Obedience to authorities is a running theme in Scriptures, especially relevant for me, with the Catholic Church being so hierarchical.

I guess what I'm wanting for awhile is a simpler spirituality. All these things are very good, praying for people on these forums, seeing inspirational Christian quotes in my inbox, and so on, but I just want to cut out these "extra" things for awhile. I suppose I'll have a better explanation of why I feel a need to do this, after I do this.


Due to my prolonged absence that is soon to come, the Angel's Team tag has been removed from my name until I return. I would like a few others to take my place; I do feel as if part of the reason for me to step away is to get a few others involved in the wonderful prayer ministry on these forums. There are more details on it here: Apply for CF Angels Team I suppose if you read all the way through this post, that shows a good dedication to the people on the Prayer Wall, and that will serve you well on the Angels Team.

I cannot say when I will return; all I can say is that I am in God's hands. I am not having a crisis of faith, just a simpler way to live it out. I think reading good books will be good for me; spending more time investment in a book sounds more appealing than reading a lot of little e-mails & online posts right now. Whatever direction God may be calling me, I pray that he may bring me there, and bring all of you where you need to be, as well.
 

“Paisios”

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Greetings, fellow humans! I announce with mixed emotions that I will be stepping away from Christian Forums for awhile, along with all my daily e-mails, and other "extras" with my spiritual life. Much of the following is most of a copy of an e-mail I sent to my superiors on the Angels Team:


Have you ever read the book Blue Like Jazz? It's an interesting description of a guy's modern spiritual journey. There is one point in it where Don, the author & main character, describes his rise in Christian prominence, as he becomes a high-profile pastor of a group on the West Coast. I don't remember details on this background, but what it leads to is my reason for mentioning it.

He talked about a time when he looked amazing from the outside, saying he'll pray for people & doing good Christian things, but on the inside, he felt lost. This was very difficult to describe to people, and it led to a confusing conversation with the head pastor of his church, as he was trying to say that he needed to take a break from what he's doing to try to figure things out, without being sure of what it was that he needed to figure out.

One line in particular sticks out to me, and I'll quote it as best as I can remember it. This is while Don is talking to his pastor about needing to take a break from his duties:

"I just said to a guy, 'The Lord bless you.' What does that even mean? Am I really meaning what I say, or am I just saying it to sound good? I know people appreciate it, but I don't know where I am on the inside."

The reason this sticks out now is because this is kind of how I'm feeling on the Prayer Wall. I feel that I can write some pretty good prayers; short, simple, but friendly & encouraging. But I really don't feel like I'm doing much. Frankly, I feel this way about a lot of this forum. And it's not the forum, but I've been feeling more & more like I should just step away for awhile, get better track of what I'm doing, without really being sure of why I feel this way.

I've actually been cropping out several things like this; I'm unsubscribing from Catholic daily e-mail lists, doing less specific devotions, and just really trying to focus on God. All these things, Dynamic Catholic e-mails & Christian Forums & the like, have been very good for helping me focus on God, but for reasons I don't understand, I'm feeling overwhelmed when I have this input.

All this is to say: I would like to step away from all my online devotions, including Christian Forums, for awhile. Please know that I will continue praying for you & for everything that happens on the Prayer Wall, even if I'm not reading what's posted on there. God knows it's there, and I can pray that He reads it a little closer than I do.

I will also make a public post, requesting prayers as I step away from a lot for awhile, but I wanting to ask my superiors first. Obedience to authorities is a running theme in Scriptures, especially relevant for me, with the Catholic Church being so hierarchical.

I guess what I'm wanting for awhile is a simpler spirituality. All these things are very good, praying for people on these forums, seeing inspirational Christian quotes in my inbox, and so on, but I just want to cut out these "extra" things for awhile. I suppose I'll have a better explanation of why I feel a need to do this, after I do this.


Due to my prolonged absence that is soon to come, the Angel's Team tag has been removed from my name until I return. I would like a few others to take my place; I do feel as if part of the reason for me to step away is to get a few others involved in the wonderful prayer ministry on these forums. There are more details on it here: Apply for CF Angels Team I suppose if you read all the way through this post, that shows a good dedication to the people on the Prayer Wall, and that will serve you well on the Angels Team.

I cannot say when I will return; all I can say is that I am in God's hands. I am not having a crisis of faith, just a simpler way to live it out. I think reading good books will be good for me; spending more time investment in a book sounds more appealing than reading a lot of little e-mails & online posts right now. Whatever direction God may be calling me, I pray that he may bring me there, and bring all of you where you need to be, as well.
Compassion fatigue is a thing.
Fortunately our prayers do not rely or depend on us or our feelings to be effective, but on our Lord. Take your break. Recharge your batteries. Understand that everything is not on you. Pray when you are able, but don’t feel guilty when you can’t. Nothing is forever, and God will purpose us as He wills.

Be blessed and go in peace, my friend.
 
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bèlla

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And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. —Philippians 1:6

Alex,

I'm really proud of you. It takes a lot of maturity to admit your shortcomings and recognize when less is best. Sometimes we can be so focused on helping others we neglect ourselves or lack people who'll pour into us. Many speak about giving but receiving is equally important. I hope your time away is edifying and you're given the things you lack.

It has been a pleasure knowing you. I have every belief you'll succeed and trust the Lord will bring you the one you seek. Your kindness and sincerity are evident. I always smile when I read your posts.

Thank you for sharing unselfishly and serving others while you're here. It hasn't gone unnoticed. :yellowheart:

Kindest regards,

~bella
 
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NerdGirl

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Respites and sabbaticals are a wise and prudent part of life. We have to look after our own hearts, minds, and souls, as steadfastly as we do for others.

Take care, and God bless you during this time of seeking :)
 
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Tigger45

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I know posting on the internet can feel disconnected but your spirit comes through and you are appreciated.

God’s blessings :crossrc:
 
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Stephanie7

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It's okay to take time away, I wish you all the best on your journey with God, may He enlighten you, may He give you the rest you seek, yet refresh you and build your faith in a whole new way of becoming one of his most loved and abiding servants. God bless you, In Jesus Name, Amen
 
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Unofficial Reverand Alex

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Wow, thank you all. I just came back for a bit, saw these posts, and couldn't say anything; I'm back again, because I do want to give you all a proper reply.
Compassion fatigue is a thing.
Fortunately our prayers do not rely or depend on us or our feelings to be effective, but on our Lord. Take your break. Recharge your batteries. Understand that everything is not on you. Pray when you are able, but don’t feel guilty when you can’t. Nothing is forever, and God will purpose us as He wills.

Be blessed and go in peace, my friend.
Paisos, I've always appreciated your wisdom here. This post is really good; I don't think compassion fatigue is quite what I'm going through, but everything else you said was very helpful. Thank you again.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. —Philippians 1:6

Alex,

I'm really proud of you. It takes a lot of maturity to admit your shortcomings and recognize when less is best. Sometimes we can be so focused on helping others we neglect ourselves or lack people who'll pour into us. Many speak about giving but receiving is equally important. I hope your time away is edifying and you're given the things you lack.

It has been a pleasure knowing you. I have every belief you'll succeed and trust the Lord will bring you the one you seek. Your kindness and sincerity are evident. I always smile when I read your posts.

Thank you for sharing unselfishly and serving others while you're here. It hasn't gone unnoticed. :yellowheart:

Kindest regards,

~bella
Bella, somehow I knew you'd be one of the first replies on this!:) Honestly, you were the reason that stepping away for awhile was a hard decision, and I did delay it, because I appreciate your presence so much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with us all.

Respites and sabbaticals are a wise and prudent part of life. We have to look after our own hearts, minds, and souls, as steadfastly as we do for others.

Take care, and God bless you during this time of seeking :)
Aren't you the one I shared the wonderful time-travel story with? The Back to the Future thread, when I'd never even seen the movies?:D If you're not, this will be kind of awkward...:confused: But even if you weren't in that conversation, I know I've seen you around, and you quickly became another one of my favorites on these forums...thank you for being so cool!

I know posting on the internet can feel disconnected but your spirit comes through and you are appreciated.

God’s blessings :crossrc:
Yes, "disconnected" describes the feeling quite well. If I help someone in real life, I can see the effects...here, I'm dependent on people being online & myself seeing the right posts. Thank you for your encouragement, Tigger.

It's okay to take time away, I wish you all the best on your journey with God, may He enlighten you, may He give you the rest you seek, yet refresh you and build your faith in a whole new way of becoming one of his most loved and abiding servants. God bless you, In Jesus Name, Amen
Stephanie, have you considered becoming part of the Angel's Team? I see you on the Prayer Wall all the time, normally right after I post there. I appreciate your kindness on these forums.

May the Lord bless you richly as you seek more of him in your life and his peace in Jesus precious name. :praying:
Should I call you Calvin or Hobbes?^_^ Thank you for all your encouragement across these forums, I'm sure I'm far from the only one who appreciates it.

God bless you.
Thank you for putting a little more sunshine online!:) Such a simple message, but every time you post, I'm reminded to let God's light shine; thank you for that. The world will certainly be a better place because of you.
 
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bèlla

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Bella, somehow I knew you'd be one of the first replies on this!:) Honestly, you were the reason that stepping away for awhile was a hard decision, and I did delay it, because I appreciate your presence so much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with us all.

Thank you Alex. For seeing me and recognizing my heart. You’ll be missed a great deal. :yellowheart:

~bella
 
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sunshineforJesus

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Wow, thank you all. I just came back for a bit, saw these posts, and couldn't say anything; I'm back again, because I do want to give you all a proper reply.

Paisos, I've always appreciated your wisdom here. This post is really good; I don't think compassion fatigue is quite what I'm going through, but everything else you said was very helpful. Thank you again.


Bella, somehow I knew you'd be one of the first replies on this!:) Honestly, you were the reason that stepping away for awhile was a hard decision, and I did delay it, because I appreciate your presence so much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with us all.


Aren't you the one I shared the wonderful time-travel story with? The Back to the Future thread, when I'd never even seen the movies?:D If you're not, this will be kind of awkward...:confused: But even if you weren't in that conversation, I know I've seen you around, and you quickly became another one of my favorites on these forums...thank you for being so cool!


Yes, "disconnected" describes the feeling quite well. If I help someone in real life, I can see the effects...here, I'm dependent on people being online & myself seeing the right posts. Thank you for your encouragement, Tigger.


Stephanie, have you considered becoming part of the Angel's Team? I see you on the Prayer Wall all the time, normally right after I post there. I appreciate your kindness on these forums.


Should I call you Calvin or Hobbes?^_^ Thank you for all your encouragement across these forums, I'm sure I'm far from the only one who appreciates it.


Thank you for putting a little more sunshine online!:) Such a simple message, but every time you post, I'm reminded to let God's light shine; thank you for that. The world will certainly be a better place because of you.

aww Thanks so much and I will miss seeing you online.
 
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