Stephen Colbert on Religion

[JeffreyLloyd]

You can listen to the audio here. He's kind of hard on Protestants, but it's all in good fun

• “If you want to go first class on Christ-Track, there is only one way to ride… Roman Catholicism!”
  
• “Jesus founded only one church folks and it wasn’t Unitarism.”
  
• “Catholics have many advantages over other Christians. One is marble. For the buck I put into the collection plate, I want some production value. That means a church, not some community center that doubles as basketball court. Also Catholics have saints– more than 10,000 of them. They’re like God’s customer service reps, and each of them has a speciality.”
  
• “Protestantism, this is a variant form of Christianity, or ‘heresy’”
  
• “Protestants don’t make me angry as much as disappointed. Unlike the world’s crazy made up religions, they’re so close to getting it right. They’re a single Pope away from reaching their full potential.”
  
• “You’ve had your 490 year protest, lets move on.”
  
• “Why don’t Episcopalians just come out and say it - their Anglicans! A bunch of Tory Loyalist Brito-philes… waiting for the day America let’s her guard down and they can reinstate Henry VIII! Let’s keep an eye on these people”
  
• “Methodist - What, the Church of England wasn’t heretical enough for you?”
  
• “I’ll give the Mormons this, they know which way the wind blows when America decided polygamy wasn’t the way to, the Mormons changed their ways and banned it! They had similar changes in policy when public opinion turned against the tradition of massacring pioneers and believing all black people are evil.”
  
• “Pretty much whenever the general populous decides that Mormons are a sinful, crazy cult, their leader receives a message straight from God that makes everything okay.”

 

[geocajun]

The religion chapter in his book I am American, and so can you! is hilarious

 

[JeffreyLloyd]

The religion chapter in his book I am American, and so can you! is hilarious

You are a fast replier, my friend!

 

[D'Ann]

Jeff,

Wow, I never heard of him before. Learn something new every day.

God Bless

 

[Xpycoctomos]

I find him and John funny, but when they talk about religion, I get a little uneasy because sometimes they get pretty blasphemous.

 

[jdemnyan]

Although Mr. Colbert was just employing his usual, dare I say, neo Brit-com tactics, that chapter sounds almost like Alexis DeTocqueville's very serious Chapter 6, Volume II "On the Progress of Catholicism in the United States" from his masterpiece "Democracy in America."

For example, in regards to Colbert's remarks about Protestants being only one Pope away from full potential, DeTocqueville states this:

"Men who live in democratic centuries are therefore highly inclined to shun all religious authority. If they do consent to submit to an authority of this kind, they want it to be unified and uniform. Religious powers that do not coverge toward a single center are inherently an affront to their intelligence, and it is almost as easy for them to conceive of a situation in which there is no religion as of one in which there are several.

Now more than in the past we see Catholics becoming unbelievers and Protestants turning Catholic. If we look at Catholicism internally, it seems to be losing. If we look outside it, it is winning. There is an explanation for this.

People today are by nature not particularly inclined to believe, but if they accept religion at all, they soon discover in themselves a hidden instinct that propels them toward Catholicism. Any number number of doctrines and customs of the Roman Church may astonish them, but they harbor a secret admiration for they way it is governed, and its great unity attracts them."

A very relevant quote for 2008 written in 1835...

My apologies for anyone offended by my serious post in a light-hearted thread!!!

 

[InTheCloud]

Stephen Colbert cracks me up.

BY the way good post on Tocqueville.