Staying single and refusing to marry?

[jen76]

Do you think it is wrong to stay single if you feel that you're for example too weak to be a good spouse? For example from a woman's perspective, if the woman feels she is too weak to give birth and take care of children or her husband? If she feels she would not be able to do those tasks but fall into depression for example? Or do you think she should trust god to give her strength for those duties even if she feels she is weak and would not be able to do them?
What about if she has commitment issues and she cannot trust men?
So what i am asking is are these acceptable reasons to stay single (and living in celibacy) cause she sees it's better that way?

 

[alsughasoughaiuyfygh]

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[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I think this would be your business. And yours alone. Most people don't really like to do house work. If you feel like you can't handle children. There are birth control. You can talk to your OBGYN or doctor about more longer lasting birth control. You can look for a man that doesn't want kids. If your don't trust men. You should seek a therapist. I don't trust people. So I sure there's a reason you don't trust men.

 

[Hank77]

Do you think it is wrong to stay single if you feel that you're for example too weak to be a good spouse? For example from a woman's perspective, if the woman feels she is too weak to give birth and take care of children or her husband? If she feels she would not be able to do those tasks but fall into depression for example? Or do you think she should trust god to give her strength for those duties even if she feels she is weak and would not be able to do them?
What about if she has commitment issues and she cannot trust men?
So what i am asking is are these acceptable reasons to stay single (and living in celibacy) cause she sees it's better that way?

To bring these issues into a marriage and family would not be being honest to a husband or to children. It could cause grave damage to all those involved.

 

[Celticroots]

As someone who has health problems including fatigue, it's vital to think about what is best for you. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Soyeong]

Do you think it is wrong to stay single if you feel that you're for example too weak to be a good spouse? For example from a woman's perspective, if the woman feels she is too weak to give birth and take care of children or her husband? If she feels she would not be able to do those tasks but fall into depression for example? Or do you think she should trust god to give her strength for those duties even if she feels she is weak and would not be able to do them?
What about if she has commitment issues and she cannot trust men?
So what i am asking is are these acceptable reasons to stay single (and living in celibacy) cause she sees it's better that way?

Nobody starts off as an expert at something. Great musicians all had a point where they needed to be taught how play their instrument and when they weren't very good at it, but if you spend 10,000 hours doing something, then you will become an expert at it. We're all born as weak babies, but we don't stay that way. If you got married and were doing a poor job of taking care of your family, then there is absolutely nothing that says that's just how it's going to be and you can't ever improve, and the only way to get better at something is through practice. If you have doubts, then you should express them to a potential husband, but you should also try to see yourself as he see you. It's one thing if you have a legitimate health concern about giving birth, but raising children is certainly not easy, but there are many men and women who found that they were up to the task who weren't sure. The only one deciding whether or not you have a commitment issue is you. Clearly there are some men who are trustworthy and some who are not, just the same with women, and the fact that others aren't trustworthy doesn't mean that the one you are with can't be trusted. Trust is extremely important in a marriage, so if a wife or husband does not choose to fully trust their spouse, then they will only hinder her chances of having a successful marriage. Love lays down its life for the other and takes no account of its own, so if we can be hurt by the ones that we say we love, then we need them more for our sake than we understand love. There are also Christian premarital counselors who can help with these issues. I recommend this video clip:

And this sermon on becoming love:

 

[Earatha]

One of the reasons I have chosen not to have children is that I feel I am temperamentally unsuited for it. I can have a violent temper and while I manage to keep it in check I am afraid of this. I also suffer from several mental health problems which are, unfortunately, genetic. As such I do not think it would be fair to a child to burden them with that.

If you think that it would be unfair to commit yourself to someone then yes, it is absolutely moral to abstain from marriage. The particulars you list are odd, but if you don't want to get married then don't.

 

[Nithavela]

Why would staying single be wrong?

 

[Tinker Grey]

It's perfectly fine to stay/be single for any reason at all. It is no one's business but yours.

 

[Phil 1:21]

Jesus was single. Paul was single. Both spoke about the virtues of it.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

To bring these issues into a marriage and family would not be being honest to a husband or to children. It could cause grave damage to all those involved.

I would hope she would bring these issues up, before she marries someone.

 

[Goatee]

Single is fine. But, you may find someone you just fall in love with who loves you just as much!

 

[Dave-W]

Do you think it is wrong to stay single if you feel that you're for example too weak to be a good spouse?

It would be wrong if God has not given you the charismatic gift of celibacy.

What about if she has commitment issues and she cannot trust men?

That calls for some counseling, whether that person gets married or not.

So what i am asking is are these acceptable reasons to stay single (and living in celibacy) cause she sees it's better that way?

In and of themselves, no. It is not good for man (and that includes woman) to be alone. God Himself said that.

 

[Rajni]

Do you think it is wrong to stay single if you feel that you're for example too weak to be a good spouse? For example from a woman's perspective, if the woman feels she is too weak to give birth and take care of children or her husband? If she feels she would not be able to do those tasks but fall into depression for example? Or do you think she should trust god to give her strength for those duties even if she feels she is weak and would not be able to do them?
What about if she has commitment issues and she cannot trust men?
So what i am asking is are these acceptable reasons to stay single (and living in celibacy) cause she sees it's better that way?

No one is under any obligation to marry (at least, not in the free world). Therefore, whatever reasons a person has for not marrying are perfectly fine. No one owes anyone an explanation for not marrying.

 

[Celticroots]

It would be wrong if God has not given you the charismatic gift of celibacy.

That calls for some counseling, whether that person gets married or not.

In and of themselves, no. It is not good for man (and that includes woman) to be alone. God Himself said that.

So she has to marry because God says it's not good for man to be alone, even if she feels that isn't the best for her physical or emotional health? Does she have to have kids too even though she feels that may not be what she wants?

I maybe want to marry, although I don't want children. Because of health issues, I don't have the stamina nor the emotional requirements, and it's a responsibility I just don't want.

Does God's will trump ours regarding certain aspects of our lives, or does He take into account why the person may or may not want to something?

Kind of a frightening thought for those with chronic health issues.

 

[Dave-W]

So she has to marry because God says it's not good for man to be alone, even if she feels that isn't the best for her physical or emotional health?

How do you know if God wants her to marry or not?

What I am saying is that if she refuses to marry when God wants her to, she will have all kinds of trouble in that regard.

Does God's will trump ours regarding certain aspects of our lives,

Absolutely. I am surprised that this is even a question. Is He "LORD" or not?

or does He take into account why the person may or may not want to something?

Of course HE takes that all into account, including health issues that may not be known for another decade or so. God's will is very detailed and specific to each individual. And what WE want is usually NOT what He wants.

"Nevertheless, not my will but THINE be done."

Kind of a frightening thought for those with chronic health issues.

Why? Do you not trust that HE knows best?

 

[Poppyseed78]

I think there is nothing wrong with remaining single. One's marital status does not have any inherent effect on one's worth as a person or salvation. However, if you want to be married, but are afraid and use various reasons as an excuse not to marry, then I think you're doing yourself a disservice. Do you truly feel that you are called to celibacy, or do you just feel held back by various problems? None of the issues you mentioned are insurmountable or necessarily make someone poorly suited for marriage or parenthood, on their own.

Even if you choose to remain single, which I believe is fully your choice and yours alone, I think it would benefit you to seek counseling for some of the issues you mentioned, such as the mental health struggles. You owe it to yourself to live your best life.

 

[Celticroots]

How do you know if God wants her to marry or not?

What I am saying is that if she refuses to marry when God wants her to, she will have all kinds of trouble in that regard.

Absolutely. I am surprised that this is even a question. Is He "LORD" or not?

Of course HE takes that all into account, including health issues that may not be known for another decade or so. God's will is very detailed and specific to each individual. And what WE want is usually NOT what He wants.

"Nevertheless, not my will but THINE be done."

Why? Do you not trust that HE knows best?

I don't know if He wants her to marry.

About His will trumping ours, I meant in terms of health things. Would we be put in a situation we don't feel suited for because He wants a certain thing for us? I. E. Having kids?

Where I am in my life right now I am having trouble trusting that He knows best. Probably because I worry all the time due to my anxiety disorder which makes those with them worry more than normal anyway.

 

[Rajni]

So she has to marry because God says it's not good for man to be alone, even if she feels that isn't the best for her physical or emotional health? Does she have to have kids too even though she feels that may not be what she wants?

If it's any consolation, that verse which is mis-quoted as saying "it's not good for man to be alone" more accurately reads "it's not good for the man to be alone," meaning Adam specifically, not everyone in general. It's not supposed to be a clobber-verse against solitary living.

 

[Introverted1293]

I don't think being single is wrong.