Stay or leave dad's church?

PloverWing

Episcopalian
May 5, 2012
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New Jersey
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Eva090715,

I know you're balancing a lot of interpersonal dynamics here -- including your relationship with the old church, your husband's relationship with the old church, your husband's relationship with his father, your spiritual growth, and your husband's spiritual growth -- so there may not be a perfect solution. But I think your husband should feel free to leave for the new church if that's where he can best grow and serve God.

I have always assumed that my children will grow up, move to a new town, and find a church there. I have assumed that about my pastor's kids, too. It's probably a little socially trickier if the kids stay in the same town as the parents but choose a different church, and I acknowledge the awkwardness that your husband may feel. Still, it can be hard to grow fully into an adult when you're in the church you grew up in, where everyone remembers you as a little kid. A new church can be a place for your husband to find freedom from all the expectations of his father and his childhood church. If your father-in-law is a wise pastor, he should be able to understand that.

How do you feel about the move to the new church, for yourself? Would you be able to give up your ministry at the old church and move to the new one, and still be able to grow and have a ministry in the new place?
 
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