Starting to hate my parentd

[Far Side Of the Moon]

My mom is giving onky until next week to get the insurance for my car...

Only thingbis I can never get my savings over 300 before I have to clean it out ...

Thing is... I had my insurance money months before but I had to keep freaking helping her to the point of cleaning out both accounts(when I had 2 jobs -2 different cards)

And what I gave still ridnt help...I could have gotten th3 insurance then.

I swear I feel like quit5ing and just being a burden on her because ev3rytime I try to be independent sh3 just messes it up for me or holds me back som3 how.


I hate my parents so much..

I want yo move but I cant because my stupid brother went back on his word and wants to be alone.

2018 is starting off crappy.

 

[vinsight4u]

What happened to your money for your insurance? What is she going to do with your car if you don't pay it by then?

 

[WolfGate]

I have read enough of your posts to believe that your mother is using finances to manipulate and control you. I know it will be very hard, emotionally, fiscally and physically, but I would suggest you consider looking for how you can move out - even without your brother. Create a budget that you would use if you were independent and on your own then try to find a place to live that can make it happen. Sorry you are dealing with this, family should be a place of love and support. To get back there you may need to take control of your life and end the manipulation.

 

[vinsight4u]

Several of us have suggested that there be one set amount that you owe your parents on a particular day each month.
That is it. You pay nothing more, unless you want something special as in maybe different food for yourself. You are not supposed to be supporting your parents and being their crutch while they are not careful enough with their money.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

I have read enough of your posts to believe that your mother is using finances to manipulate and control you. I know it will be very hard, emotionally, fiscally and physically, but I would suggest you consider looking for how you can move out - even without your brother. Create a budget that you would use if you were independent and on your own then try to find a place to live that can make it happen. Sorry you are dealing with this, family should be a place of love and support. To get back there you may need to take control of your life and end the manipulation.

I know its messed up!
My brother gets to save ...I'm just angry because my dad doesnt work and I know if he did she would let me keep my money but instead she keeps him home.
And now he's getting sick.

I'm so tired of this...I hate not being able to save...I hate being leeched for money I'm to the point I just want to cry.

Ive even thought abt quitting and just giving my savings to my bf and just focusing on school but even then my mom would take my refund check.

Crazy part is...my younger brother ...when he goes to school she wont ask him for any of his refund check...but when I got them I always had to give.

I really want to cry.

I cant do this I'm running out of solutions.

 

[High Fidelity]

I'd get a savings account, put in a set amount each month that come hell or high water neither you or your mother touch.

I'm all for honouring my parents and appreciating what they've done for me, but it sounds like she's financially irresponsible and is placing that burden on you.

I know it may be difficult and this may sound condescending, but you need to learn how to say no. This isn't the only instance people will try and take advantage of you in life and for some people it can ruin their lives.

 

[High Fidelity]

my mom would take my refund check.

What's a refund check and why does she have access to a financial matter that's likely yours in name legally?

 

[vinsight4u]

refund check?
You are not giving your college loans or such to your parents are you? If so, then how will you pay for school?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

What happened to your money for your insurance? What is she going to do with your car if you don't pay it by then?

I had my insurance money months ago... We were going to be put out so I gave her everything I had from both my jobs....my brother didn't...he tithed 90% of his check and just gave 60 bucks...my useless dad had no job so he just sat and watched things unfold... I almost couldnt get my car because of this...

Come to fins out...my money didn't help anyway...it just went towards miscellaneous bills.

My parents want me 30 and at home with no savings and then want to kick me out when ive given so much to them thinking they gave me time to get myself together..

Man I hate my parents.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Now I'm at work but my key card doesmt work I guess because the weather is messing with the locks...so I cant get in..
Its freezing cold.

I work hard for the money I get..esp as a house keeper...

If I didnt work so hardcmaybe it wouldnt hurt so much...

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

What's a refund check and why does she have access to a financial matter that's likely yours in name legally?

You know the check you get from school, it usually goes to helping you get books and stuff.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Please someone tell me how do I tell my parents no without getting pu5 out..

When I tried to help to tell my mom my money was being drained away by her...she pretty much almost threw me out...

Its like I'm just supposed to give and guve and give... Even if I pay my own stuff it wont end...

The only thing I can think of is just getting a better job and leaving the hotels.....but ive been applying and havent been getting anything.

I hate my dad for just sitting on his butt doing,nothing but watching everyone work.
He even told me he didnt like giving,my mom almost all his money and wanted to quit... My thing is ..no one told u yo have a family

 

[vinsight4u]

You wrote a post recently as to your insurance was due the next day - Saturday for your car. You gave us the impression that you had the money but your mom wanted you to pay some or all of her car insurance and let your car stay parked there. Did you take your money and pay her car insurance with it? How can you now drive your car without your own being paid? How do you get to school and your job? How far away does you bf live from you?
Does he see what is going on? I would think that his advice would be to keep up with your own bills first. You do not want to ruin your credit. It is too late maybe to help theirs.

 

[Liza B.]

I had my insurance money months ago... We were going to be put out so I gave her everything I had from both my jobs....my brother didn't...he tithed 90% of his check and just gave 60 bucks...my useless dad had no job so he just sat and watched things unfold... I almost couldnt get my car because of this...

Come to fins out...my money didn't help anyway...it just went towards miscellaneous bills.

My parents want me 30 and at home with no savings and then want to kick me out when ive given so much to them thinking they gave me time to get myself together..

Man I hate my parents.

I'm so sorry.

It's not good, what your parents are doing to you and expect of you. It's not fair or healthy. It's making you "hate" them, which is also, of course, not healthy. For you or them. Or your faith life, right?

You have good advice above. Whatever you can do to be independent of them, please do it. When you have enough money saved, I would have a frank and serious conversation with them and tell them, "I love you. But I can't keep giving all my money to you. I have to have an independent life." It sounds like you can expect a LOT of blowback. And guilt trips. But that is not your problem--really.

I'm a mother. We take on a lot of responsibility when we have children. We should raise them in love, not expecting that they "owe" us in return. If they return love and support, that's great--but it shouldn't be an expectation. It's just not right. You have your own life to live now. You need to go live it.

 

[vinsight4u]

Now I'm at work but my key card doesmt work I guess because the weather is messing with the locks...so I cant get in..
Its freezing cold.

I work hard for the money I get..esp as a house keeper...

If I didnt work so hardcmaybe it wouldnt hurt so much...

Are you inside now out of the cold? Frostbite can happen very quickly, so be careful please. Watch out for yourself.
Go somewhere if you need to get warm till the door deal works.

 

[mina]

I'd put out feelers ASAP for a roommate- ask around at church, at work, etc... and then I'd make it a top priority to move out. Your parents are using you and manipulating you. Having a roommate is rough sometimes, but it's a heck of a lot better than being bled dry by your parents, and the right person will not dream of asking you for money other than your half of the rent money. If might be easier to get along with your parents also , from a little distance. I doubt they will throw you out. They depend on you and know it's a good thing to have you there with your money. that is just manipulation and threats to make you feel bad and guilt you into doing what they want.

 

[vinsight4u]

I had my insurance money months ago... We were going to be put out so I gave her everything I had from both my jobs....my brother didn't...he tithed 90% of his check and just gave 60 bucks...my useless dad had no job so he just sat and watched things unfold... I almost couldnt get my car because of this...

You gave them your refund for school, so they could pay back apartment or house rent? If you did not hand it over to them, then you all would be out on the streets in the winter? How did you pay for school and your supplies? You used part of the money to buy your car?

 

[vinsight4u]

Has college started yet this year for you? If you did not go, but used your time and money to get that better paying job and move out, would you have to give that money back right away or at all?

 

[vinsight4u]

Can your bf give you an incentive to save your money?
Buys you a special gift or takes you to a fancy dinner? I used to treat myself as I reached various goals, not just on money, but other type of things too.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

You wrote a post recently as to your insurance was due the next day - Saturday for your car. You gave us the impression that you had the money but your mom wanted you to pay some or all of her car insurance and let your car stay parked there. Did you take your money and pay her car insurance with it? How can you now drive your car without your own being paid? How do you get to school and your job? How far away does you bf live from you?
Does he see what is going on? I would think that his advice would be to keep up with your own bills first. You do not want to ruin your credit. It is too late maybe to help theirs.

No I didnt have the money then...if I did I would have been had insurance by now.