Staff/members discussion thread. Report-free.

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FaithPrevails

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If a thread that was originally started as a request for help has turned into two or more of the people offering help fighting over differing advice then yes, some action is required. A single exchange disagreeing respectfully or pointing out something in the OP they may have missed MIGHT be appropriate, but most of the time, in advice threads, we all need to do better at addressing the OP and their issues and spend less(or no) time addressing the advice of others.

But, having said that, there is a place for both specific help threads and general discussion threads and if we're headed toward a place that's purely help only, I've got little interest.

I wasn't talking about help only - we have sections of CF devoted to that. But, general discussion looks very different than debate does.
 
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FaithPrevails

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In the joking about debates/discussions I don't want to slide over this concern. It does, perhaps, touch on the line of when a discussion becomes a debate. Clearly semantics for some of us, and we've already seen Dallas and I understand the line differently (though we stopped well short of trying to argue the other into agreeing with our point).

Faith - I've seen you engage well in some discussions with differing viewpoints. So I'd be interested in understanding where you see debate/discussion division. Or is it one of those things we can't define, but we know it when we see it?

I posted the below prior to seeing your post quoted above.

This is what it says as the header under the Life Stages heading (which is where this forum resides):

Forum for the discussion of different life stages in life. For debate please go to the Society or Theology sections of the board.

Discussion is talking about, exploring, and comparing/contrasting ideas, beliefs, values, etc.

Debate is stating your POV about ideas, beliefs, values, etc. and other members responding with supporting or refuting statements.
 
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Nilla

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Let's say that I say something to you that you take offensive and you report me, then I say something else in another thread and you report me again. You should automatically be blocked from viewing my posts and my threads due to the communication difference and it makes it so there is no grudge held.

A lot of times the "violation" is nothing more then someone stating there opinions. Many times I get a warning then I speak to other people in the thread and they understand exactly what I was saying. Sometimes these posts are posted out of anger vs making the forum a healthier place. That shouldn't be happening.

If I said "oh that is not godly and Christians shouldn't do that the bible says......" then it turns into "oh you said I'm not a godly christian I'm reporting you." When that wasn't even the aim of my post a lot of the time people are getting warnings for violations that don't exist.

The violations are more so censership then anything. Some censership is ok but utterly controling if one has a say or if one does not is tyrinnical and socialistic.

It's to the point if I see certain people posting and I disagree with them then I will certainly not respond to that thread because I know I will be reported I shouldn't have to tread on such thin ice.

If we had that system:
Say you report me twice and then my posts are out of sight for you.
Would I be informed of this? If this happened again but with another member - someone else reports me twice and my posts are out of view for that member.. and this gets to be a pattern. Then clearly I have a posting style that's offensive to members - shouldn't I then think about the way I post and try to correct it?

I understand the idea - just curious how it would work in detail.. (not sure if that's something we could do technically)
 
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FaithPrevails

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I apologize that that came across abruptly. I was just startled that it was suggested that the threads here aren't debate threads. Many are debate threads. Yes, some where the OP asked for advice devolved into debate, but there are many where the OP specifically instigates debate. The one about the female vs. male OB/GYN is one that comes to mind.

If everyone wants this to truly be a no-debate zone, then we do need to make more extensive changes. I, personally, do not see the problem with debate, as long as the debate remains friendly and amonst forum members (marrieds).

I didn't say that the threads here aren't debating in nature. I agree the they are, but I also think that is exactly what has gotten this forum into the mess it is in.

As I said, this is labeled as a no-debate zone. Discussion is great and welcome with wide open arms. But, debating - at least the way it is done here. Not so much, IMO.
 
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FaithPrevails

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There are debates and there are discussions with differing opinions.

The purpose of a debate (any debate) is to win an argument.
The purpose of a discussion is to discover a truth.

Back in school we were assigned topics regardless of whether we agree with it or not and told to debate.
I hated that part.
Why should I debate in defense of something I disagree with?

If there is an unbending spirit - this is a sign of debating with a sole purpose of winning.

Discussion? Married people discuss about anything at home.
So why not here?

Thanks,
In Christ,
Ed

I can't tell what you are inferring from this post, but I hope it is to explain that we can have discussions with disagreements here, but should not be debating.

I have no problem stating my POV in contrast to another member and discussing the differences with them. I do have a problem with them trying to tell me I'm wrong and then listing why they think I'm wrong. That's not what I come here for. I come here for fellowship, discussion, and to support/offer advice & prayer to members who are hurting in their marriages.
 
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WolfGate

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This is what it says as the header under the Life Stages heading (which is where this forum resides):

Forum for the discussion of different life stages in life. For debate please go to the Society or Theology sections of the board.

Discussion is talking about, exploring, and comparing/contrasting ideas, beliefs, values, etc.

Debate is stating your POV about ideas, beliefs, values, etc. and other members responding with supporting or refuting statements.

Thanks Faith!!!

Gee, how DO you know where all this stuff is?? ;)
 
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FaithPrevails

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Thanks Faith!!!

You're welcome.

Gee, how DO you know where all this stuff is?? ;)

:smirk:

My co-worker is always telling me how smart/creative I am when I share stuff with her and my response is always, "No. I'm just resourceful and I look stuff up and then use it." :D
 
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Nilla

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Edial

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Closing this thread for now.. have to get something to eat.
We are closing this thread permanently.
Thank you all for your input.
As I mentioned, we should have the new approach completed after the long weekend.
Thanks, :)
In Christ,
Ed
 
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