St. Lawrence Lounge (Vocations, lay-ministries, and discernment)

[Arcangl86]

The other difficulty is that we often, and i wonder if this is an issue outside TEC, conflate :ministry" with ordained ministry. So I was just told that my call was invalid, that they felt a different call, and now it's up to me to figure out how to live it.

 

[Paidiske]

Yes, I think it's a problem generally that we are very bad at helping people work out what ministry and vocation might look like when it's not about ordination.

 

[Arcangl86]

So here's a question for those who have pursued an ordained vocation. If you went a different direction, what was it, and if you did make it to ordination did you have a plan b?

 

[Paidiske]

So here's a question for those who have pursued an ordained vocation. If you went a different direction, what was it, and if you did make it to ordination did you have a plan b?

I was in a secular business role (in big pharma) when I began formal discernment. It was clear to me, I think, that no matter where I ended up with regard to the church, I would change my work; if not for ordained ministry, perhaps for one of the helping professions (not teaching; I was very clear I was not teacher material! But perhaps counselling or some other caring role).

Did I have a plan B? By the time I actually got close to ordination, not really. I remember coming up to my final interviews, the year before ordination, thinking, "If they say no, what will I do? What is there for a seminary dropout?" I wondered about pursing an academic path; some of my lecturers were pointing me towards a PhD and a future in that direction. Was never very convinced that would be the way to go!

Here's something, though. I'm 42 now, and in recent years, every single clergy person I speak to (except those already close to retirement) has at least given thought to their plan B. If I leave, what will I do? Some are making sure they have skills in teaching or counselling. Another is studying social work. One is a musician wondering if she could make a living that way. One who has a knack for languages has pondered becoming an interpeter. One came to ministry from the funeral industry and is confident he could return to that. One is easing himself out of parish ministry and into working for a social welfare organisation. All of us are aware that burn out is real, that ministry might not be sustainable in its current form for decades more of our lives, and (as one of my lecturers once put it to us), "Paul didn't sell his tent-making tools, and neither should you." Heck, one of the local Lutheran pastors near me still works as a GP (his previous work) one day a week to keep a foot in that world.

The point I'm making, I guess, is that there is considerable overlap with various other fields, that there are transferable skills, and that the vocation to serve God's people can find expression in all sorts of ways. Which may not help you work out which way to look, but may encourage you that there are options?

 

[Deegie]

So here's a question for those who have pursued an ordained vocation. If you went a different direction, what was it, and if you did make it to ordination did you have a plan b?

I was also in full-time secular work throughout my discernment and ordination process (and actually remain so now, serving as a bi-vocational rector). I guess my Plan B was to keep my secular employment and just serve the church in whatever lay volunteer capacities I could. But that was actually part of my process since I had tried everything before pursuing ordination: Vestry, preaching, Lay Eucharistic Minister and Visitor, etc. And none of those scratched the itch I had, especially in the sacramental and pastoral realms. So I guess I would say the fact that Plan B didn't work reinforced Plan A for me.

I think @Paidiske makes a great point above that ministry overlaps so much with other helping professions, and it might be hard to tease out the right vocation from among them. Heck, I can think of a number of devoted and devout laypeople in my parish who I feel spend more time actually ministering to people and/or spreading the Gospel than I do since I'm also saddled with all of the administrative work, finances, staff supervision, planning worship, writing sermons, etc.

 

[alexier]

Hi all. I hope you're well? I'm now a Vocations Officer for my diocese and wondered if anyone had any great vocations books that really tell it as it is!

 

[Paidiske]

I'm not sure what you mean by vocations books. Do you mean, books that help us understand the lived reality of ministry?

One I read when I was discerning (probably more helpful for women than for men) is called Jobs For the Boys? Women Who Became Priests. Shares the stories of a dozen or so very different women in diverse ministries, which helped me see that it's not a one-size-fits-all reality (but also shared some of the good, the bad, and the ugly of ministry!)

 

[Shane R]

Hi all. I hope you're well? I'm now a Vocations Officer for my diocese and wondered if anyone had any great vocations books that really tell it as it is!

My bishop instructs all of the deacons to read The Priest is Not His Own by Fulton Sheen. Another good, and concise, work is The Country Parson by George Herbert.

 

[alexier]

My bishop instructs all of the deacons to read The Priest is Not His Own by Fulton Sheen. Another good, and concise, work is The Country Parson by George Herbert.

Oh I LOVE George Herbert and I think many people really want that ministry - love and care for a community. I'll have to get the Fulton Sheen one and give it a read. Thanks so much

 

[Arcangl86]

Well, it's now been over a year since my formal discernment process ended and I have to say, I'm not feeling any less called then I did then.

 

[Paidiske]

Do you have any sense of how you might express that, other than through ordination?

 

[Arcangl86]

This is actually something I considered when I was in the ordination process and should pick up again, but I've been discerning religious life, specifically as a Dominican friar. I absolutely love preaching, but in this diocese, it's hard to do so as a lay person.

 

[Paidiske]

I'm afraid monastic life is something I'm completely ill-equipped to advise you on.

I know that a sense of blocked vocation can be a deeply difficult thing; the only thing I can suggest is to try to find the thing that gives your sense of vocation some outlet (and that will depend on what is particular and fulfilling about your vocation). Whether it's leadership or practical service or teaching or pastoral care or something else, there'll be something that will give you a sense of using your gifts in the way that you were meant to.

Did your discernment process touch on the possibility of chaplaincy, perhaps in a hospital or school, at all?

 

[Shane R]

This is actually something I considered when I was in the ordination process and should pick up again, but I've been discerning religious life, specifically as a Dominican friar. I absolutely love preaching, but in this diocese, it's hard to do so as a lay person.

That's unfortunate. The lay preacher is a valuable adjunct to the ordained clergy. Frankly, American Anglicans are not often known for their homiletical skill. I would much rather hear a competent layman than the 7-10 minutes of drivel that some of my colleagues scratch out on a piece of notebook paper and call a homily.