Spouse without faith

[ColoRaydo]

My wife is a Christian, by that I mean she believes in Christ's death and resurrection and is her savior. But that's it.

She never reads her bible, she never prays unless I'm there to lead her in prayer but worst of all, she doesn't trust God to take care of us.

She is constantly worried about our teenaged kids, always worried about money (we make way more than enough), and keeps a job that she hates but won't let go for fear of not having enough money even though my income is sufficient for the family. She keeps expecting things like travel or skiing to make her happy, but it's only momentary.

I feel bad for her mainly because she has no joy that God has blessed us greatly and we will live in eternity in his kingdom.

Granted, she is from Norway and Norwegians are seldom the life of the party, but she really lives like a subject in the book, "The Christian Atheist".

Actually, we have a good marriage, but sometimes I can't take the negativity and she thinks I'm always whistling in the dark.

I'm not whistling in the dark. I'm just happy. I'm not without worry or concern, but I have faith that God is going to take care of me, no matter what.

Has anyone else dealt with this in a spouse?

 

[Rescued One]

My wife is a Christian, by that I mean she believes in Christ's death and resurrection and is her savior. But that's it.

She never reads her bible, she never prays unless I'm there to lead her in prayer but worst of all, she doesn't trust God to take care of us.

She is constantly worried about our teenaged kids, always worried about money (we make way more than enough), and keeps a job that she hates but won't let go for fear of not having enough money even though my income is sufficient for the family. She keeps expecting things like travel or skiing to make her happy, but it's only momentary.

I feel bad for her mainly because she has no joy that God has blessed us greatly and we will live in eternity in his kingdom.

Granted, she is from Norway and Norwegians are seldom the life of the party, but she really lives like a subject in the book, "The Christian Atheist".

Actually, we have a good marriage, but sometimes I can't take the negativity and she thinks I'm always whistling in the dark.

I'm not whistling in the dark. I'm just happy. I'm not without worry or concern, but I have faith that God is going to take care of me, no matter what.

Has anyone else dealt with this in a spouse?

I've seen it. I have advice: just keep reading your Bible and showing patience. Norwegians love to ski! I can understand her desire in that area; skiing doesn't attract me. Sometimes we're married to people who are different from us and have different values. Maybe she'll never be interested in Bible study; or maybe she will. God changes people. We want to do that, but we could try in every way that enters our mind and the other person isn't going to change. Pray (even for twenty-five or more years) and let God have His way with her.

Exodus 14 NIV
14 The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.

I've found that life is hard, but I always pray for God's will to be done (on earth as it is in heaven).

I hope you can take her skiing once a year(if you can afford it).

"How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God who has none."
- A. W. Tozer

 

[EmmaCat]

I'm not really sure here, but I am praying for you both and may God bless you!

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Granted, she is from Norway and Norwegians are seldom the life of the party, but she really lives like a subject in the book, "The Christian Atheist".

I think this is a bit funny as I am also originally from Norway myself, though I have considered myself as a very lively person. But perhaps it is because I am also half spanish? Some norwegians have pointed this out for me too. But sure, it is one of the stereotypes of how a lot of norwegians are viewed, and many might seem a bit more reserved.

Anyways, there are also norwegians who take their faith in Christ very seriously too. She may be more of the secluded type of protestant Christian, those who were baptized in the church as babies and are written in as members, perhaps goes to church more during Christmas, New Year and Easter... Especially here in the western part of the world there are many who prefers being a type of silent Christians, they keep their faith private from others. These type of people exists everywhere, I think many feel this way because we're supposed being tolerant for other religions as well as having respect for those who don't believe too. It has become more of a "hush hush, don't share your belief but you are welcome to keep it for yourself" type of thinking, something which is sad because we're supposed to go around and share the gospel with others, as well as freely live our lives dedicated for God. And we cannot fully do this if we have to keep it all by ourselves.

She never reads her bible, she never prays unless I'm there to lead her in prayer but worst of all, she doesn't trust God to take care of us.

Here what I got to mind is that maybe you could start reading the bible together with her, for example to read one chapter on a day can be more than enough. Then you both spend quality time together as well as it is spent focusing on God's Word too. Same I thought about praying, if she only manages to pray when you lead her in prayer, then why not encourage that you both pray more together?

My husband was a bit the same with this, he didn't wanted to read in the bible nor pray, whilst I thought this was very important. I would grieve over this as well as worry about Him not wanting to spend more focus and time with God, and especially that he didn't believe prayer would help much as with the problems he had at his job. I also felt very frustrated, I was the one who had to encourage us to read together in the bible as well as encourage that we sometimes pray, and at some point he would agree with this, though it could still be difficult at times. Then it came a very difficult time for me a bit later on, I won't get into much details about this part. But once I started getting more raised up again by God as well as experiencing more healing from what I endured, then my husband started opening up more freely about us reading in the bible. He now sees how important it is, so we try reading a chapter every day, and I also want for us to do more prayers together.

I think it is at least a very good start if you are the one who encourages more about you two reading together in the bible as well as pray together, even if you have to lead her in prayer right now, what's most important is if you manage spending some quality time in God. And perhaps later on this might encourage her to start doing more reading in the bible herself as well as own praying? First she will need to grow more faithwise before she can manage this, and in the meantime you should be her mentor and be the one who keeps on encouraging her. You are also supposed being the head of the family.

 

[Martyr's Crown]

Norwegians love to ski! I can understand her desire in that area; skiing doesn't attract me.

Haha! Not all norwegians loves to ski. I sure love to go skiing, but I know of other norwegians that finds it awful. It is the same as the quote which is also used for how the mentality for many norwegians are seen, about how norwegians are known for being outside in all types of weather. If you love spending a lot of time outdoors then this will sure fit you very well, but then again; there are norwegians who doesn't enjoy going outside during rainy days as an example.

We don't know for sure if his wife loves to go skiing, although I found it a bit funny that you mentioned this.

 

[faroukfarouk]

I think this is a bit funny as I am also originally from Norway myself, though I have considered myself as a very lively person. But perhaps it is because I am also half spanish? Some norwegians have pointed this out for me too. But sure, it is one of the stereotypes of how a lot of norwegians are viewed, and many might seem a bit more reserved.

Anyways, there are also norwegians who take their faith in Christ very seriously too. She may be more of the secluded type of protestant Christian, those who were baptized in the church as babies and are written in as members, perhaps goes to church more during Christmas, New Year and Easter... Especially here in the western part of the world there are many who prefers being a type of silent Christians, they keep their faith private from others. These type of people exists everywhere, I think many feel this way because we're supposed being tolerant for other religions as well as having respect for those who don't believe too. It has become more of a "hush hush, don't share your belief but you are welcome to keep it for yourself" type of thinking, something which is sad because we're supposed to go around and share the gospel with others, as well as freely live our lives dedicated for God. And we cannot fully do this if we have to keep it all by ourselves.



Here what I got to mind is that maybe you could start reading the bible together with her, for example to read one chapter on a day can be more than enough. Then you both spend quality time together as well as it is spent focusing on God's Word too. Same I thought about praying, if she only manages to pray when you lead her in prayer, then why not encourage that you both pray more together?

My husband was a bit the same with this, he didn't wanted to read in the bible nor pray, whilst I thought this was very important. I would grieve over this as well as worry about Him not wanting to spend more focus and time with God, and especially that he didn't believe prayer would help much as with the problems he had at his job. I also felt very frustrated, I was the one who had to encourage us to read together in the bible as well as encourage that we sometimes pray, and at some point he would agree with this, though it could still be difficult at times. Then it came a very difficult time for me a bit later on, I won't get into much details about this part. But once I started getting more raised up again by God as well as experiencing more healing from what I endured, then my husband started opening up more freely about us reading in the bible. He now sees how important it is, so we try reading a chapter every day, and I also want for us to do more prayers together.

I think it is at least a very good start if you are the one who encourages more about you two reading together in the bible as well as pray together, even if you have to lead her in prayer right now, what's most important is if you manage spending some quality time in God. And perhaps later on this might encourage her to start doing more reading in the bible herself as well as own praying? First she will need to grow more faithwise before she can manage this, and in the meantime you should be her mentor and be the one who keeps on encouraging her. You are also supposed being the head of the family.

Wonderful that you guys read the Word and pray together. This is what my wife and I do also; it's so important.

 

[Albion]

I'm thinking that this isn't totally or even primarily a problem religious belief, but that it's a matter of her personality or outlook on life overall.

Maybe it has something to do with the famous Scandinavian mindset you referred to...or maybe not. I'm only saying this because, if correct, the way you go at trying to improve things might need to be adjusted.

 

[ToBeLoved]

My wife is a Christian, by that I mean she believes in Christ's death and resurrection and is her savior. But that's it.

She never reads her bible, she never prays unless I'm there to lead her in prayer but worst of all, she doesn't trust God to take care of us.

She is constantly worried about our teenaged kids, always worried about money (we make way more than enough), and keeps a job that she hates but won't let go for fear of not having enough money even though my income is sufficient for the family. She keeps expecting things like travel or skiing to make her happy, but it's only momentary.

I feel bad for her mainly because she has no joy that God has blessed us greatly and we will live in eternity in his kingdom.

Granted, she is from Norway and Norwegians are seldom the life of the party, but she really lives like a subject in the book, "The Christian Atheist".

Actually, we have a good marriage, but sometimes I can't take the negativity and she thinks I'm always whistling in the dark.

I'm not whistling in the dark. I'm just happy. I'm not without worry or concern, but I have faith that God is going to take care of me, no matter what.

Has anyone else dealt with this in a spouse?

Does she like to read? I might try to find a really good book on faith and trusting and knowing God. Or if your church has a women's group or meetings. Maybe she feels like you do not take things seriously enough, so in whatever kind of way she is trying to balance that by caring too much.

Has she ever been to a financial advisor? Maybe someone else telling you guys you are in good shape financially would help. Sometimes we listen to outside sources better than those inside.

Be blessed.

 

[RaymondG]

The same faith you have in the material things, you can have in your relationship with your wife. Now when you see the darkness of negativity in your wife you can Whistle, knowing that God will turn it around and make it better.....no matter what....

 

[Another Lazarus]

I doubt your wife ever share her "bread" with the others, warn her that if she is not grateful to God she will be left as the foolish virgins in the Great Tribulation.

May Jesus bless you all HalleluYAH

 

[ToBeLoved]

I would just like to stress to the OP that he is spiritually responsible to God for his family's spirituality. Not trying to rain on his parade or anything, but he needs to make sure he has done all that he can. He will be accountable to Christ for what he did and did not do as the spiritual head of the household/family.

Here are some verses to consider. I don't want to get caught in any women's liberation type of thing but consider them.

1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, ...

1 Corinthians 11:3
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Deuteronomy 6:6-7
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Ephesians 5:1-33
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. ...

Ephesians 5:21-33
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ...

1 Peter 3:1-22
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, ...

Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Isaiah 54:13
All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.

Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”

Ephesians 5:21
Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1 Corinthians 7:34
And his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.