Spouse as assistant and/or caretaker

[LovebirdsFlying]

Note, I didn’t post this in Married Couples because we can’t discuss submission there, and this topic would likely at least touch on that.

My husband spent many years as a transit driver but now drives for Greyhound. For the past month he has been working away from home, not too far from where his sister lives. For Father’s Day his sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and mother all planned to meet with him for dinner, since he happened to be in the area. It was unknown whether or not I could join them, but the door opened, and I could. That was yesterday. Today is his last day on that assignment. He’s heading for home, and I’m on the bus with him.

One of our passengers is not very mobile and would have difficulty getting on and off the bus. When we stopped for a break, my husband offered to either help him on and off, or buy him something to eat and drink, and bring it to him. Yes, that’s paying for it himself. My husband is a wonderful man.

As I took care of personal business, hubby went to the counter and placed our orders, then had to start eating without me. With limited time, I could bring my food on the bus and finish it if I need to. He can’t.

So then as hubby took care of other personal and driverly things, I packaged up the gentleman’s order including straws and napkins, and saved hubby some time and effort. He was grateful for that even though technically it isn’t my job. I then pointed out that it sort of is. By definition as a wife, I am his assistant. Likewise, by definition as a husband, he is my caretaker.

Then it occurred to me…. It seems the two positions have exactly the same job description. Because if the roles were reversed, he’d have done exactly the same for me.

The wife assists her husband. He nurtures and cares for her in return. Is there a meaningful difference in the actions these positions then bring forth?

PS: I just noticed I said “our” passenger, and I think that means something.

 

[Paidiske]

I think it's about love. Both spouses love the other, which will result in a wide variety of loving actions. I wouldn't say that one does so by assisting and the other caring, and I think over a lifetime and in different situations it will shift as our needs and wants shift.

 

[GallagherM]

@LovebirdsFlying

Was reading Ephesians 5 earlier and found this:

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body. 31 For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-33 (NASB1995)