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Spiritual Hypochondria

Discussion in 'Obsessive Compulsive Disorder' started by cedward1, Oct 6, 2011.

  1. cedward1

    cedward1 Newbie

    I can't seem to get past these obsessive thoughts that I might be lost and beyond the ability to be saved. It started the same way my physical hypochondria always started, with me Googling all kinds of information. For example, I have read that some people believe that you can sin to the point where you are unable to repent any longer, and therefore can't be forgiven and saved.

    I spent most of my life as a false convert, making a profession of faith but feeling no need to follow Jesus or keep God's commandments. Now I want to change, but the constant doubts return telling me that maybe it is too late. It has gotten especially bad the past couple of days with me, and my reaching out to God is being replaced with a constant self examination and checking of spiritual symptoms to see if I have a fatal spiritual disease.

    It is the exact same pattern as my hypochondria. First, I read that there is a fatal disease in which you are unable to repent. That makes me feel like I have to make sure I can repent. But then I worry because I am not sure exactly what true repentance is. So I Google some more about repentance. I read all kinds of "turn or burn" type preaching that says if you don't repent you will go to Hell, which makes it worse. And I come across another site or two claiming that it is possible to harden your heart to the point where you are unable to repent, even if you want to. So I frantically start checking my symptoms, to see if I feel repentant about past sins. It got so bad today that I actually sinned on purpose to see if I felt bad about it. I felt horrible, but soon after I began questioning again as to whether or not I felt horrible in the "proper way". Then the cycle starts all over.

    It feels like this could destroy my faith completely if I don't get over it. I used to spend most of each day seeking God, but now I am just making an idol of my own feelings and I realize it. But whenever I think to myself that I should forget my feelings and turn to Christ, the thought comes back that says "good idea, but first make sure that you haven't ruined your chances". Then it starts all over again.

    I'm a mess right now. Any advice?
  2. tripletiger1200

    tripletiger1200 Amazing Grace, How Sweet the Sound

    In Relationship
    I do not agree with the part about hardening your heart to the point that you can't repent even if you want. I think if your hear is hardened then you do not want to repent. Also we have to remember salvation is a work entirely of God. Repentance comes from the working of the Holy Spirit on your heart, not a work of your flesh. I'm sure some arminians will disagree with me, but I believe that if you are saved then the Holy Spirit will produce repentance and works of righteousness in you as testimony to the fact, rather than you providing the works to keep your saving faith alive. Basically I would cast myself entirely on God's mercy. Confess your sins, ask for forgiveness, and ask God to work in you. Ask Him to send the Holy Spirit to help you and admit that you do not deserve salvation, nor can you do anything to help yourself independent of His power. If you give God the control and come to Him in a place of humility I do not believe that He will turn you down.
  3. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

    "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

    Cedward1, God does not draw us with no intent to save, He does not pursue your heart only to turn you away.

    Jesus said:

    "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." (John 6:37)

    This verse is a promise from our Saviour Jesus Christ, He said that whoever comes to Him to be saved will not be turned away. Jesus said ALL who come can come in assurance of God's grace.

    "He went on to say, "This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless the Father has enabled him." (John 6:65)

    To come to Jesus is a gift of grace, you cannot come on your own will or heart, you must be drawn by the Holy Spirit. But as these verses show you would not be desiring salvation without the Holy Spirit working in your heart! With these verses in mind you can rest assure that you have not fallen to far from grace. Jesus is still there, still reaching out His hand, the blood that He shed WAS FOR YOU. There is room at the cross brother, do not worry, God loves you and the reason He came to earth was to save your soul.

    "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." (John 3:17)

    "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9)
  4. SoldierOfSoul

    SoldierOfSoul Senior Veteran

    "Cast yourself on him who came to call, not the righteous, but sinners to repentance. Bow in humility and patience before him who flashes the lightnings of Sinai in the face of every self-righteous sinner, but who kindles the milder, genial rays of Calvary to guide every truly humble and repentant sinner into the port of peace and everlasting love."