Spiritual bullies

[Presbyterian Continuist]

On my website http://www.personal-communication.org.nz there is a section on Domestic Violence which contains a large list of resources to help victims. This came out of my ten years of being a Domestic Violence victim advisor with the District Court.

Spiritual bullying is no different. It comes from the attitude is "I am bigger than you, more powerful, more knowledgeable; therefore you will do what I tell you or else!"

A lot of the spiritual abuse came out of the Shepherding Movement that originated in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in the 1970s. This required believers to come "under the covering" of a "discipler" in order to progress in their spiritual lives. This othewise useful principle became corrupted by power hungry pastors, elders and homegroup leaders who used it to have control over others. It got so bad that a guy couldn't even go and buy a pair of pants from the shop without getting permission from his shepherd. These power mongers dictated who believers should marry, what books to read, what churches to attend, what college to get their education, how to choose their friends, etc., to the point where their personal lives were not their own. Also, shepherding groups forced believers to confess their most personal sins to the group causing much embarrassment and heartache. Thi is the face of spiritual abuse.

A pastor once tried to tell me to come under his authority. I gave him the bum's rush, walked out of his church and never went back. That's how I dealt with a jumped up peacock obsessed with his own importance and authority!

 

[SongOnTheWind]

On my website http://www.personal-communication.net.nz there is a section on Domestic Violence which contains a large list of resources to help victims. This came out of my ten years of being a Domestic Violence victim advisor with the District Court.

Spiritual bullying is no different. It comes from the attitude is "I am bigger than you, more powerful, more knowledgeable; therefore you will do what I tell you or else!"

A lot of the spiritual abuse came out of the Shepherding Movement that originated in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in the 1970s. This required believers to come "under the covering" of a "discipler" in order to progress in their spiritual lives. This othewise useful principle became corrupted by power hungry pastors, elders and homegroup leaders who used it to have control over others. It got so bad that a guy couldn't even go and buy a pair of pants from the shop without getting permission from his shepherd. These power mongers dictated who believers should marry, what books to read, what churches to attend, what college to get their education, how to choose their friends, etc., to the point where their personal lives were not their own. Also, shepherding groups forced believers to confess their most personal sins to the group causing much embarrassment and heartache. Thi is the face of spiritual abuse.

A pastor once tried to tell me to come under his authority. I gave him the bum's rush, walked out of his church and never went back. That's how I dealt with a jumped up peacock obsessed with his own importance and authority!

Thank you so much for this, I think it's just what I needed to hear! Bless you

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Thank you so much for this, I think it's just what I needed to hear! Bless you

I made a typo in my link. It is
Http://www.personal-communication.org.nz

 

[SongOnTheWind]

I made a typo in my link. It is
Http://www.personal-communication.org.nz

I took note of it, thank so much once again

 

[SANTOSO]

How do you deal with them? I'm dealing with this in the sense of those who twist scripture to what they want and then try to make you think you're going to hell if you don't agree 100% with their supposed 'enlightenment'.

I could ignore it, but it does seem to be happening more and more. How would you answer such folk? Not to shut them down, or invalidate them in anyway, but just speaking the truth in love. Is there even a need? Should I simply turn a blind eye? It may save me a lot of wasted time in the end.

Thoughts?

Dear one,
I find delightful to know that you are thoughtful even toward those whom you considered spiritual bullies, for you are considering on how you might speak to them the truth in love. You are right not to turn a blind eye to this matter. Sure, there is a need to address this. There is no wasted time when we lead many spiritual bullies to righteousness.

For this is what we have heard:
And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above; and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever. -Daniel 12:3

How should deal with spiritual bullies? Didn’t what they said burdened us? Yes. Did they afflicted us by what they said ? Sure, they said are not healthy or not right, and did offend us.

Did this thing not happen to our Lord ? For we heard:
He came to His own, and His own people did not receive him. -John 1:11

Aren’t those spiritual bullies Christians ? Will they receive us ?

What should we do then ?
This is what we have heard:

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. -Galatians 6:1
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. -Galatians 6:2

Also, let us remember what our Lord said :

If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.- John 15:20
But all these things they will do to you on account of my name, because they do not know him who sent me. -John 15:21
If I had not come and spoken to them, they would not have been guilty of sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. -John 15:22

Still, we need to come and speak to the spiritual bullies in a spirit of gentleness and keep watch ourselves, lest we too be tempted.

Yes, we need to bear with what they said that offended us and it can be a burden but let that not discourage us to love them through the love of Christ.

For we heard:
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. -1 Corinthians 13:7

We who love Christ will be strengthened through His grace to bears all things. Yes, through the love of Christ in God, we can do all things.

Let us remind them that the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ is not a gospel of condemnation but a gospel of peace and love.

For we all have heard:
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. -John 3:17

Likewise, the admonition we received from apostle of our Lord in Galatians 1:6-10

How we should speak the truth in love to them? We need to consider what we have been taught regarding this ministry:

Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart. -2 Corinthians 4:1
But we have renounced disgraceful, underhanded ways. We refuse to practice cunning or to tamper with God's word, but by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God. -2
Corinthians 4:2
And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. -2 Corinthians 4:3
In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. -2 Corinthians 4:4
For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. -2 Corinthians 4:5

So we speak to the spiritual bullies the truth in love by the open statement of the truth we would commend ourselves to everyone's conscience in the sight of God.
For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as their servants for Jesus' sake.

When the spiritual bullies receive with meekness the implanted the truth of the Lord’s love, the truth will set them and save them.

In other words, when they meditated the truth of the gospel that we shared, and kept in their hearts ; the light of the gospel or the Lord’s teaching will enlighten their hearts as we have heard:

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. -2 Corinthians 4:6

The darkness of their hearts will be enlightened with the truth of God’s words.

For the wisdom that we were taught:
For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life, -Proverbs 6:23

If they respond and not reacted to the Lord’s teaching that we shared with them, that teaching will enlighten their hearts out of darkness. That means that they kept the commandments of the Lord in their hearts. In other words, they heed the reproof of Christ, they are on the way to life that God have promised in Christ.

Yes, they are on the way to live a life of love in union with Christ.

Let us also be mindful what apostle Paul taught us in 2 Timothy 2:20-26.

May God perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.