Special Needs "Not Bad Enough".. Considering Homeschooling

JAM2b

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My youngest son has severe speech disability and slight hearing loss due to cleft lip and pallet, ADHD: primarily inattentive type, anxiety, depression, hallucinations, and will soon be evaluated for Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Last year as a fifth grader his teacher and I had conversations about him not being ready for middle school because he struggled to keep up, pay attention, know what he was supposed to be doing, physically move at the same pace as the others, etc.

The promoted him to middle school anyway because academically he was successful. It has been a disaster.

He can't get to class on time, doesn't always know where he is supposed to go, can't keep up with which elective class he is supposed to go to because they rotate days, fails to bring things he needs to class, has panic attacks at school, doesn't remember school work, can't fill in his daily planner with assignments that are posted on the board..

The school's response has been terrible. They have been resistant to every request I have made for assistance. They don't always listen to him or take time to try to understand or let him use his "text-to-speech" accommodation. Panic attacks are ignored by teachers. They won't give him an aide. They won't put him in self contained class. They won't move him to an alternative campus with smaller classes. However, they want me to keep him medicated, and for him to "get it together." They want to hold him accuntable for expectations, but not give him help that he needs. Their reasoning is because academically he does fine and he doesn't disrupt class, so to them that means his needs aren't bad enough.

I have caused such a ruckus that they agreed to do new evaluations on him, and talk about putting him with a different team if teachers, or moving him to alternative campus. They had told me it needed to happen before the Christmas holiday because they only make changes at the beginning of semesters. I did everything I was supposed to. They did not. They did not finish evaluations until last week. I highly suspect that they are going to say they can't do anything because the new semester already started. I also suspect that their findings will also still say that he isn't bad enough.

The meeting is on February 2. If they are unwilling to help him at that point, I'm going to prepare to homeschool him next year.
 

JAM2b

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He does have an IEP. It is being loosely and inconsistently followed. I have insisted on more accommodations for him or for him to be placed somewhere else. They offered a plan of action that involved accountability and rewards for him. They didn't follow their own plan.

So that lead to me pestering them and calling them out on things, and they decided to do a new evaluation for him. But they didn't finish within the time frame they said it has to be completed in.
 
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Odetta

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The delays are not unheard of. They do brand new (as in the child in question has never had one) first before they do re-evaluations for children who already had them done. At least in my schools. I would still try bringing in back up to support your position to force them to obey the law before pulling the plug. The school will/should have trained and licensed teachers, including teachers with additional credentials in special ed. I am assuming you are like me in that you don't have that education or those credentials. I know you're upset (I would be, too!), but don't let anger lead you to a knee-jerk reaction before you investigate all possibilities and what each option is really going to entail.

Wrightslaw website (www.wrightslaw.com) also has some free resources/information to help you advocate yourself, if you can't afford to hire one. In my area, there is an advocate who sometimes gives free advice as well. You may look into that for your area.
 
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JAM2b

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His IEP was changed on Feb 2. I didn't receive an official copy of it until March18. His teachers have not been given a copy until yesterday. No one was following it or the previous one.

Early in March he was encouraged/guided by a school therapist to make up a written plan and sign it to make an agreement that directly goes against his IEP, and escorted around to his teachers for them to sign it. I threw a fit. The agreement was cancelled. His IEP was still not implemented though.

He is being expected to be accountable for things he is not capable of and his IEP says he is supposed to be getting assistance and support with, which is being neglected.

His teachers do not communicate with me unless they become frustrated then they want to give him detention for not performing well. His behavior is not disruptive. He does not harm anyone or damage property. He is respectful for the most part. But they want to punish him while not meeting his needs.

I have sent emails to all core teachers, school therapist, school counselor, assistant principle, principle, and the assistant director of special education for the school district.

I have had a meeting with an advocate, and was given a list of further assistance to request in writing. However, given the fact that they don't follow the plan that is already in place, I don't expect them to do the right thing with new requests.
 
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JAM2b

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One thing that gets me is when I was talking in the last meeting about the school not providing an option for my son because he doesn't meet their qualifications for self contained or special ed classes, and they won't make accommodations for him that would benefit him even with verifiable disabilities ...just because they "don't do that"... it was suggested to me, "There's always homeschool as an option."

So, the school would rather me pull him out and educate him at home than to give him the assistance he needs. This is the first I have ever experienced this. Every time I have heard professional educators discuss homeschool it was very strongly frowned upon. They have discouraged it almost with vehemence. But here these staff are, with a student whos needs they are not willing or capable of meeting, and would rather he leave than have to deal with his needs.
 
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Dave-W

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That sounds completely illegal. The ADA (American with Disabilities Act) REQUIRES reasonable accommodations be made. Most states and larger cities have similar legislation with additional requirements.

I would find a lawyer (usually an initial "consultation" is free) and find out what the law says in your city/state.
 
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JAM2b

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I had a meeting on Thursday morning with the principle and assistant director of special education for the school district. It was in response to the email I sent out to everyone, and it went surprisingly well.

They have informed all the teachers that they must follow the IEP consistently. They are also being required to communicate with me directly so that I can make sure he is doing the school work he is supposed to be doing at home, and I am going to be picking up papers/books/notes from them every Friday afternoon that way we can ensure that everything does get home.

He is no longer going to be held to the expectations that are required with his planner or planner codes that lead to detention such as forgetting materials, late assignments, being late, etc.

They are being required to encourage and prompt him to use his cell phone text-to-speech app so that he can become more accustomed to it and he can be understood when he talks to them, instead of blowing it off when they don't know what he has said. They are also supposed to be allowing him to take pics with his phone of the board, notes, or images that might need to remember later.
 
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JAM2b

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It did sound like a positive step. But none of it has happened, and it has been a week. I was told I would be called back either last Friday or Monday after the principle had a chance to talk with core teachers. It never happened. I emailed asking if they had gotten a chance a to talk, and I emailed the core teachers the same thing. I haven't gotten a response and it's been two days.
 
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JAM2b

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Now the principle is saying that we did not discuss things like I'm saying we did, and that my only concern was that he was being disciplined and I wanted that stopped.

His IEP still has not been acknowledged, and they are not addressing the issue of it not being followed. ..and it is also still not being followed.

I feel like the principle is making me sound like a liar or a crazy person.
 
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JAM2b

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We are having another meeting on Friday. This time it is going to be with everyone present so there isn't confusions, miscommunication, and everyone can have the same information at the same time. None of them will talk with me over the phone anymore even for smaller or more urgent matters that are unconnected. They will only communicate in email, with others CCed so that there are witnesses for exchanges. I have questions that they are not answering and not evening acknowledging, even matters that aren't related to this.

I need to be able to talk with his speech therapist because there is a problem in his therapy sessions, and I would like to ask her some questions to get her side of it, but she won't even respond to me. His speech therapist wont talk to me to without running to the principle first. I don't think it is coincidental that she is the one who had encouraged him to write a plan that goes against his IEP and then walked him around to his teachers for them to sign it.

All of this makes me feel very insecure. I'm not sure if they are nervous because they are in the wrong, or if they think that I'm just a crazy person that they have to handle carefully. I'm not crazy. I wouldn't do anything over the top or outside of the legal process that is already established.
 
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Dave-W

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Record the meeting. This is an absolute necessity. That way everything will be on record.

If possible, I would suggest having a lawyer there representing you and your son as well.

Bring a list of all these concerns, including the points that the speech therapist is NOT communicating with you and the plan that is going against the IEP that went around to the teachers. Do not let them bully you into skipping points on your list.
 
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JAM2b

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This meeting was recorded and written notes were taken. The previous plan made with the principle and assistant director of special education was reconfirmed and initiated. It was also tweaked a little during the group discussion. Length of additional time to complete school work was defined and agreed upon. I was also reassured on the recording that the IEP and additional plan made to help my son would carry over to the next school year.

Some of them were angry and looked like they felt resentment or like their feelings were hurt. No one is acknowledging that IEP was not being followed or that they also have not followed through with plans that they themselves made out side of IEP to help him. Three of those present acted offended when I pointed out their inconsistency and broken commitments, and one of them cried.

Honestly, I'm not a mean person. I am very direct, but I'm not rude and I avoid personal attacks at all cost. I did not yell. I did not threaten. I was actually proud of myself for not having a screaming fit. However, some of them looked like I had slapped them in the face.
 
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Dave-W

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Hmmm. Maybe they needed a good slap. I am glad the meeting went well. Keep your recording in case those who were acting "offended" decide to go their own way again.
 
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Odetta

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It's been a while since I checked in on this thread. Sounds like a lot has happened, and most of it not good. I'm sorry you and your son aren't getting the support you need.

In our situation, the school pushed for homebound services for the rest of the school year because they couldn't deal. We are in the process of getting an IEP put in place (he only had a 504 before). My goal is to get private placement stipulated in the IEP accommodations, because then I can apply for state funding from the special needs scholarship fund to pay for private school. I only mention this because you may want to looking into if something like that exists in your state. It's one thing for a school to admit that they can't give what your son needs, like my school has done to us. But the school system still has to provide you with alternatives you don't have to do yourself.

I'll try to check in more often and will pray for your situation.
 
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JAM2b

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Thanks Odetta.

Today there wan an announcement that the principle will be leaving my son's middle school at the end of the year, and a new principle will be taking her place. This is somewhat discouraging because out of everyone I think the current principle tried the most. The thing that is causing a problem at the moment is that the rest of the school isn't following through. I believe the principle honestly tries. I have no idea what to expect of this new principle.
 
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