Son won't respect his mother

[woobadooba]

I've told a few to cool it and accept that this is the way things are going to be from now on.

Church members are right to be upset. She is not qualified for the work. They want a pastor, not a preacher. A person either has a calling or not. Based on what you have shared with me, I don't believe she has a calling. And frankly, it's not biblical for a woman to hold such a position. The leadership in your church is broken and in need of getting back to the Bible.

 

[meyerjd]

Its a long standing practice in the Lutheran Church to ordain women. It first started in the 1970's. And now a majority of seminary students are female. There were only two males in her class at seminary and they were both assigned to other synods. There are some members that don't want to move out of how things used to be. There are other pastors in our town that have a better grasp on how to do their jobs and I have reached out to them to try to help her in feeling more comfortable in her role. I feel that this is the most christian thing I can do for her. If our Bishop was brought into this matter, I feel she would be re-assigned without having a chance to make things right here.

 

[JAM2b]

I'm glad to hear that your son is doing better. He can alway get into higher level classes later. Sometimes kids in adolescent stages need a break from high academic stress. I was pushed for the higher classes and it hurt me more than helped me, even though I was intelligent enough. When the turbulent high school years were behind, I did wonderful with those higher classes in college.

 

[meyerjd]

I feel that real progress has been made in helping our pastor. The pastor of the local Evangelical Free Church is a friend of mine and has really taken a lot of his time to talk to our pastor and help her get a better understanding of what the day to day life of a small town pastor is really like. I do feel a little torn though. I am feeling led to start attending the Evangelical Free church which my friend pastors but I feel that I owe it to my now deceased father to keep attending the Lutheran church since he raised me that way.

 

[woobadooba]

I am feeling led to start attending the Evangelical Free church which my friend pastors but I feel that I owe it to my now deceased father to keep attending the Lutheran church since he raised my that way.

You need to go where God leads.

What did the disciples have to leave behind in order to follow Jesus?

 

[meyerjd]

I get what you are saying Woobadooba, but I've also had the same feelings from time to time about attending the Methodist Church, Presbyterian Church, Catholic Church and a couple of Non-Denominational Churches. I work with the leaders of all these churches in town and view many of them as friends. I usually chalk these kinds of thoughts as the grass being greener on the other side as so to speak.

 

[woobadooba]

I get what you are saying Woobadooba, but I've also had the same feelings from time to time about attending the Methodist Church, Presbyterian Church, Catholic Church and a couple of Non-Denominational Churches. I work with the leaders of all these churches in town and view many of them as friends. I usually chalk these kinds of thoughts as the grass being greener on the other side as so to speak.

Don't base your actions on feelings, but on what you know is true.

 

[meyerjd]

Again I guess its how I was raised. I was always taught God doesn't care what church you're in as long as you show up. I just feel fortunate to have all of these ministers as friends. There have been many occasions where I have sought counsel from other ministers when my own pastors have not been up for offering any advice or assurance. I have spilled my guts to most of them several times as we ride in the Lead Car to the cemetery following a funeral.

 

[woobadooba]

Again I guess its how I was raised. I was always taught God doesn't care what church you're in as long as you show up.

Jesus would not have called His disciples with a promise to make them fishers of men if that were so (Matt. 4:19). Yes, God cares. He wants us where He is. But not all churches show that they want Him (Matt. 7:21-23).

 

[meyerjd]

Thank you for your concern for my son. I don't know why you feel the need to question my beliefs.

 

[woobadooba]

I don't know why you feel the need to question my beliefs.

Because you have said things about your beliefs that deserve a response. If you share your beliefs, people will question your beliefs. Don't look at it as a problem, but as an opportunity for personal reflection and growth.

 

[meyerjd]

Woobadooba, I didn't mean to sound defensive. I guess I've never discussed my beliefs with anyone else. Its something I usually keep to myself.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

I'm sorry you think having a child abide by the Ten Commandments is bad advice.

If the parents don't abide by the commandments. Why should the kid. To be honest. I would lose respect for both parents.

 

[Go Braves]

If the parents don't abide by the commandments. Why should the kid. To be honest. I would lose respect for both parents.

Well, this thread is awfully old but if I recall correctly, the father was trying to live by them & was trying to get his son too. I do understand what you're saying. I just think it's commendable of the father. Too often the parent that gets cheated on encourages the child to disrespect their other parent, as part of the retaliation. I don't think that's healthy or Christian.

 

[CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN]

Well, this thread is awfully old but if I recall correctly, the father was trying to live by them & was trying to get his son too. I do understand what you're saying. I just think it's commendable of the father. Too often the parent that gets cheated on encourages the child to disrespect their other parent, as part of the retaliation. I don't think that's healthy or Christian.

I read the rest of this thread. And cant imagine what this poor boys been through. Given meds, when he didn't need them. Force to respect his mom or he will get meds. Mom doesn't care about her child enough to go to see her son in the hospital. I wouldn't be surprised if there is more to this story. Regarding the mother and how she raised him the past. And the father, just what ever. Forced respect only last so long.

 

[Go Braves]

I read the rest of this thread. And cant imagine what this poor boys been through. Given meds, when he didn't need them. Force to respect his mom or he will get meds. Mom doesn't care about her child enough to go to see her son in the hospital. I wouldn't be surprised if there is more to this story. Regarding the mother and how she raised him the past. And the father, just what ever. Forced respect only last so long.

Fair enough. I don't think you can force someone to respect somebody else. Now, not condoning behavior that is disrespectful is another thing. Not disrespecting somebody who has disrespected you & hurt you, that is very hard, especially so for a child. I understand that pretty well from my own life situations. I just understand the dad's POV here too, what his intentions are.

 

[meyerjd]

I feel my son's recovery is nearly complete. He recently won the school wide geography bee. When I found out about this, I broke down crying as I am so pround of him and what he's been through. My wife had another affair and became pregnant. The father of that child was my friend, the pastor of the evangelical free church in town. He helped my wife pay for an abortion. He's since left the ministry. So we are still having our moments of light and darkness.

 

[JAM2b]

I'm happy to hear of your son's accomplishment. Your love for him is evident.

I am heartbroken to hear of your wife's choices and very disappointed in this minister. I'm so sorry for what your family is experiencing. I pray for your strength and guidance.

 

[meyerjd]

Just as I thought our family was healing, my life has been shook again. My wife has had another affair. There shouldn't be any concern of pregnancy as the man had underwent a vasectomy. The man just happens to be the senior pastor of a Baptist church in a nearby town. My wife had been attending there by herself and my kids and I continue to attend our local Lutheran church.
My wife and the pastor confessed to me earlier today. Now I lost as to what my next move should be.

 

[Dave-W]

The pastor needs to confess to his board and resign.

Tell him if he does not, you will tell them.

You and your wife need to find a Christian marriage counselor FAST. This is gone way past the 2 of you being able to put things back together without outside help.