Social Anxiety or something else?

[Angeleyes7715]

Use to be I was afraid of looking bad in front of new people I met, important people, or awkward silences, or acting strange in front of people.

I still don't like those things, but I've forced myself to get through it all my life. Ive forced myself to go to social events, to hang out with people, to tutor, to do meet ups. I still don't like dealing with people but I survive it, the drain on my nerves is still there though no matter what. Being mentally turned on for people is a nightmare but I tolerate now. The basic social anxiety problems people with SAD have I don't have anymore instead I feel anger and hate instead of fear it's weird. I've replaced I'm afraid of what you think of me with I'm going to be so mean Ill make you hate me so I don't have to care.

Not sure if i have social anxiety anymore, but it's something. It's more like I can't stand people and wish I could be left alone in my misery anxiety.

Anyway, I'm starting a new job and im already dreading it. Not because of the work, not because of the location, but mostly because of the people, most of them I haven't met yet. It's just....I don't want to put any energy into talking or dealing with coworkers. I despise and loathe small talk and I need to spend every ounce of energy on not wanting to end it all so I don't have time or energy to talk about the weather with strangers who will just realize I'm not talkative or entertaining and then harass me because of it.

I can't stand people. Like really, can't.
Doesn't matter how positive I try to be this is how people have been since I was 7 years old no matter how nice I treated them. Most people are garbage and I'm sick of them.

 

[joshua 1 9]

Use to be I was afraid of looking bad in front of new people I met, important people, or awkward silences, or acting strange in front of people.

I still don't like those things, but I've forced myself to get through it all my life. Ive forced myself to go to social events, to hang out with people, to tutor, to do meet ups. I still don't like dealing with people but I survive it, the drain on my nerves is still there though no matter what. Being mentally turned on for people is a nightmare but I tolerate now. The basic social anxiety problems people with SAD have I don't have anymore instead I feel anger and hate instead of fear it's weird. I've replaced I'm afraid of what you think of me with I'm going to be so mean Ill make you hate me so I don't have to care.

Not sure if i have social anxiety anymore, but it's something. It's more like I can't stand people and wish I could be left alone in my misery anxiety.

Anyway, I'm starting a new job and im already dreading it. Not because of the work, not because of the location, but mostly because of the people, most of them I haven't met yet. It's just....I don't want to put any energy into talking or dealing with coworkers. I despise and loathe small talk and I need to spend every ounce of energy on not wanting to end it all so I don't have time or energy to talk about the weather with strangers who will just realize I'm not talkative or entertaining and then harass me because of it.

I can't stand people. Like really, can't.
Doesn't matter how positive I try to be this is how people have been since I was 7 years old no matter how nice I treated them. Most people are garbage and I'm sick of them.

If you have not learned basic and fundamental people skills then you should get a job where you do not have to deal with people.

 

[ElizaR123]

Oh my gosh I hear exactly what you're saying. Small talk...Yuck...People, fake people; disgusting.

At first it sounded to me like you might have Aspergers Syndrome, which is a small form of autism that involves lots of social anxiety and a general dislike/disconnect with people. People with aspergers are definitely introverts. I don't think people with Aspergers deal with SAD all that much though. I mean, I guess they could. I'm not sure. I think if I knew more about you/your behavior/thought process, I could help you better. But, I totally hear what you're saying. I feel like a lot of the commenters on here are going to be like, "Oooh you just need to be more positive!!" But not me, I hear ya.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

I think I've finally come to the realization though that anxiety not depression is what's causing my depression as well.

I tell myself I can't be happy because things will go bad.

I tell myself that good moments aren't forever everyone is just going to get old and die.

Of course some of this is true, but you get the point. I think anxiety is causing all my depression and anger.

 

[ElizaR123]

I think I've finally come to the realization though that anxiety not depression is what's causing my depression as well.

I tell myself I can't be happy because things will go bad.

I tell myself that good moments aren't forever everyone is just going to get old and die.

Of course some of this is true, but you get the point. I think anxiety is causing all my depression and anger.

Hmm...You kind of sound like me, to be honest. Well, when I started feeling that way, (still am and working on it), I got a counselor/therapist. She's been a real blessing, opening my eyes to why I feel that way too. I would definitely recommend it. I'm a know it all and really thought a counselor couldn't help me, but I was wrong. Sometimes it just feels good to tell someone everything and how you feel, and plus, they're paid to do it so you can be yourself and not give a ---- what they think about you if you know what I mean (Do you have health insurance?)

Another thing maybe, take a look at this article. How Seasonal Depression Affects Bipolar Disorder