Born atheist, never believed at any point, and was very influenced by an older brother who introduced me to Hitchens, Dawkins, Harris, etc. And watched Bill Maher religiously. Life of Brian was my favourite movie. Joined a made up religion, that paid members. Then I became a buddhist because of some trials and tribulations, to relax and meditate. Toxic relationship with the landlady that I was romantic involved with for over 10 years. Psychic terror, only made me angry, and shutdown at a point. War of the roses kind of a thing, if you have watched it.
Then moved away, she kept using my former friends who were addicted to drugs and weak, to get me addicted to something, to break me. Messed up one of my former friends bad, who got me to try speed, which he got hooked on. And then it was attempts at getting me to do shrooms, which really messed up his head. And finally I got so weak, that I did get addicted to some pills that was pushed on me, when I was wasted at a party. I watched some christian pastor show, and taught to drop anger. So I did, then I cut the pills. Then I became christian in living as christian, following rules. A few years later, I believed. But there was added fuel to create anger regulary by her and those she used.
And finally after christmas, I took some actions, and felt a calm, lost all fears and anger, others cannot hurt me anymore. And I read the bible some over three months, when I started doing that, I believe the holy spirit marked me. I was a changed man, in all ways. But will not get to heaven if I die now. I have not been called upon yet, or have not heard it. So I have one step left, praying for forgivness and surrendering in prayer. My life just had so many paralells to the bible, I became christian. The fact that otherwise good people, can be so evil to selfpreserve their dark secrets, that they use people, to hurt others in hate. And never even care if they destroy the weak people they use in the process. That made me realize that there must be a devil. So, there must be a God. And now one of the ones she used, is in a nursing place, with addiction issues, and the other just got released from jail for a stabbing. God is there if you stop being weak mentally. Drugs cloud your mind, as does anger, most cannot find faith in that state.