LovebirdsFlying
My husband drew this cartoon of me.
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- Aug 13, 2007
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My husband is a Greyhound bus driver. On his current run, he is home for two nights and then away for one. He drives to the end of his assigned line, Greyhound puts him up in a motel, and he drives the line in the other direction the next day. He comes home and has a day off before the cycle repeats. Doing other runs, he might be home for a night and then away for two. Rarely, he may even be assigned to work out of another city, and be away for as much as a month at a time. That's happening less often as he advances in seniority.
The point is, he's away from home often. It's part of the job.
He called last night, when he got to his motel room. He had eaten supper and was going to go out to the swimming pool and hot tub for a while before going to bed.
During the conversation, he said he wishes I were with him. (I do sometimes go along, when I can.) Then he felt the need to reassure me that even though he is away from me, there is nobody else whatsoever in that room or that bed with him.
I think it's very sad that the thought even entered his head, although I perfectly understand why it did. Please allow me to explain. We both had bad previous marriages. When he was married the first time, he and his ex worked for the same employer. Yet he couldn't even discuss business with a female co-worker without his ex accusing him of probably having an affair with her. Just ridiculous if you ask me. We're coming up on fourteen years of marriage now. I can't even imagine him being sneaky or dishonest in any way. Nor would it even occur to me to suspect him of being unfaithful.
That same woman who hurled false accusations at him, also frequently didn't come home at night, and he didn't know where she was. I told him about projection, and that if somebody constantly accuses you of something, they may very well be doing it themselves. I cited my own ex as an example. He would call me in from another room and order me to adjust the controls on a fan that was within his arm's reach, but he didn't want to roll over. He refused to clean up after himself. Wouldn't rinse his whiskers out of the bathroom sink, or pick his clothes up off the floor, or put the cap back on the toothpaste. Wouldn't even flush the toilet. Left it all for me to do. But if he noticed dust on top of the refrigerator, or I missed a spot when scrubbing the stove, or I mopped under the table without actually picking the table up and moving it, he would blow up at me about how lazy I was.
Hubby agreed--said he even suspected it at the time. It's entirely plausible that his ex had been doing what she often accused him of doing.
But I still think it's sad he felt the need to reassure me. That poor sweet wonderful husband.
The point is, he's away from home often. It's part of the job.
He called last night, when he got to his motel room. He had eaten supper and was going to go out to the swimming pool and hot tub for a while before going to bed.
During the conversation, he said he wishes I were with him. (I do sometimes go along, when I can.) Then he felt the need to reassure me that even though he is away from me, there is nobody else whatsoever in that room or that bed with him.
I think it's very sad that the thought even entered his head, although I perfectly understand why it did. Please allow me to explain. We both had bad previous marriages. When he was married the first time, he and his ex worked for the same employer. Yet he couldn't even discuss business with a female co-worker without his ex accusing him of probably having an affair with her. Just ridiculous if you ask me. We're coming up on fourteen years of marriage now. I can't even imagine him being sneaky or dishonest in any way. Nor would it even occur to me to suspect him of being unfaithful.
That same woman who hurled false accusations at him, also frequently didn't come home at night, and he didn't know where she was. I told him about projection, and that if somebody constantly accuses you of something, they may very well be doing it themselves. I cited my own ex as an example. He would call me in from another room and order me to adjust the controls on a fan that was within his arm's reach, but he didn't want to roll over. He refused to clean up after himself. Wouldn't rinse his whiskers out of the bathroom sink, or pick his clothes up off the floor, or put the cap back on the toothpaste. Wouldn't even flush the toilet. Left it all for me to do. But if he noticed dust on top of the refrigerator, or I missed a spot when scrubbing the stove, or I mopped under the table without actually picking the table up and moving it, he would blow up at me about how lazy I was.
Hubby agreed--said he even suspected it at the time. It's entirely plausible that his ex had been doing what she often accused him of doing.
But I still think it's sad he felt the need to reassure me. That poor sweet wonderful husband.
