So, I'm looking for advice here...

[Devin P]

Alright, so first off, if you don't agree with my beliefs, I understand 100%. I don't want to battle theology on this post however, I'm merely asking for advice on what to do with this situation.

I'm Torah observant, and I believe in Yeshua (Jesus) but, I've only been observing torah for, well, this is my first year.

My question is: Because I'm Torah observant, and my mother isn't, and she's getting rather irritated and disrespectful regarding it and my love of Elohim, should I just move? Will me living with my mother, someone who doesn't care or regard Torah at all, hinder the blessings of יהוה?

I find that the more and more I am growing in my walk in Torah, and the more I'm coming to understand, the more and more tense and spiteful the air is getting between us. She had a hard and bad experience with her parents who were Jehovah's Witnesses, and anything that requires you to refrain from anything (Torah and it's instructions in this case) she absolutely hates and I'm finding she can't deal with it, understand it, nor will she even try to.

I've tried to respectfully show and tell her why I believe as I do, using scripture, videos, my testimony, etc, etc, but she just sits silently, playing with her phone, watching tv, rolling her eyes, yelling out grace, grace, grace, and at the end of it, nothing improves. She seems to test me by trying to get me to do something I've repeatedly explained to her I cannot nor will not do because Torah forbids it. Keeping and remembering the sabbath rest, a dietary instruction, etc, and when I answer with something I've said and explained to her 1000 times, she blows up, gets visibly irritated, huffs and puffs, rolls her eyes and says or does something passive aggressively as if it's the first time she's heard it.

I'm not trying to belittle her on this post, I'm just adequately describing the situation, so out of all who post on here, to those that give me the best advice they can, they'll be armed with enough knowledge of my situation to do so. I'm not going to respond to anyone trying to battle their theological perspectives with me, I'm merely asking for advice. Thank you to all in advance!

 

[Dirk1540]

I would say the answer wouldn't be exclusive to religious beliefs, this could be a similar question if she didn't like who you were dating. The answer is based on the pros & cons. I had certain frictions when I lived at home but it was SO financially beneficial to live there!! It's a personal taste judgement call, some people have a better tolerance level than others.

But I wouldn't so much decide to leave out of anger towards a 'Disrespect' for your beliefs because (at least in my experience) that is par for the course, almost everyone in my day to day life wants nothing to do with Jesus. Also, MAYBE you are bringing the confrontation to her attention, maybe not even fully realizing it, maybe sort of trying to convert her or defend your position. I'm just guessing I could be wrong of course, but that could be raising the tension level.

In the end I'd say it comes down to your personal tolerance level, man I knew some people who could live in the most uncomfortable environment and they don't care, or they cared but could deal with it...then there are people who run for the hills the moment they graduate high school. Financially though, it was awesome how easy it was to save up $$ living at home!

EDIT...I realized after posting that my personal experience was that people I knew had a financial benefit for still living at home, and their mom was financially fine, sorry if I made the wrong assumption for your situation.

 

[gadar perets]

Alright, so first off, if you don't agree with my beliefs, I understand 100%. I don't want to battle theology on this post however, I'm merely asking for advice on what to do with this situation.

I'm Torah observant, and I believe in Yeshua (Jesus) but, I've only been observing torah for, well, this is my first year.

My question is: Because I'm Torah observant, and my mother isn't, and she's getting rather irritated and disrespectful regarding it and my love of Elohim, should I just move? Will me living with my mother, someone who doesn't care or regard Torah at all, hinder the blessings of יהוה?

I find that the more and more I am growing in my walk in Torah, and the more I'm coming to understand, the more and more tense and spiteful the air is getting between us. She had a hard and bad experience with her parents who were Jehovah's Witnesses, and anything that requires you to refrain from anything (Torah and it's instructions in this case) she absolutely hates and I'm finding she can't deal with it, understand it, nor will she even try to.

I've tried to respectfully show and tell her why I believe as I do, using scripture, videos, my testimony, etc, etc, but she just sits silently, playing with her phone, watching tv, rolling her eyes, yelling out grace, grace, grace, and at the end of it, nothing improves. She seems to test me by trying to get me to do something I've repeatedly explained to her I cannot nor will not do because Torah forbids it. Keeping and remembering the sabbath rest, a dietary instruction, etc, and when I answer with something I've said and explained to her 1000 times, she blows up, gets visibly irritated, huffs and puffs, rolls her eyes and says or does something passive aggressively as if it's the first time she's heard it.

I'm not trying to belittle her on this post, I'm just adequately describing the situation, so out of all who post on here, to those that give me the best advice they can, they'll be armed with enough knowledge of my situation to do so. I'm not going to respond to anyone trying to battle their theological perspectives with me, I'm merely asking for advice. Thank you to all in advance!

Is your mother a believer? If not, the only thing you need to discuss with her is her need for Yeshua. She will never understand the rest until she has Yeshua. You are 25 years old, so you can certainly move out, but will that benefit or hurt your mother? Is your father still living with her? Your living with her will certainly not hinder your blessings unless you react to her unrighteousness with your own unrighteousness. She needs to see Yeshua in you by you responding with love and patience.

 

[Neal of Zebulun]

Something I've found is that family members eventually get tired of trying to stop you. The first year is the roughest I think. Maybe a little more time and study is in order.

There's an interesting quote from Paul I'm thinking of, in 1 Corinthians 5, where he's talking about casting out certain kinds of Law breakers. He emphasizes that he means people who are already brothers and sisters in Christ who transgress these certain Laws in particular, and not people of the world who have not yet come to Christ. I believe 1 John 5, 2 Peter 2, and Hebrews 10 are related.

I think it's worth studying, but I don't know if it applies to your situation or not, or in what way. I'm hoping the Holy Spirit will help fill in any details.

Yahweh help us!

 

[Devin P]

Is your mother a believer? If not, the only thing you need to discuss with her is her need for Yeshua. She will never understand the rest until she has Yeshua. You are 25 years old, so you can certainly move out, but will that benefit or hurt your mother? Is your father still living with her? Your living with her will certainly not hinder your blessings unless you react to her unrighteousness with your own unrighteousness. She needs to see Yeshua in you by you responding with love and patience.

I think she does need me to show her Yeshua by my responses, and I'm trying to be as patient as I can, it's just oppressing sometimes, and since I'm only starting my walk, I know it's going to get worse, or at least it seems that way.

Yeah, she's a believer, but more so as the vast majority of the world believes. That the Torah is old news, that Jesus did away with it, and that we can do anything we want, and grace will cover it. Now it seems that her irritation is branching out into all aspects. It seems that since JW's are essentially brainwashed and in a cult, she thinks the same of me, that I'm brainwashed and am in a cult, since everyone she talks to just tells her what she wants to her: that Torah is old news, and that grace gives us right to live as we want.

I think it'd hurt her situation if I moved out, but she could definitely do it. It'd be harder for me because I'm transitioning between careers, but eh, it could be done for both of us. I just, I want to make certain radical changes according to what Torah says, and according to the convictions He's given me (or at least I feel He's given me), and I can't do it here. I'm trying to be as obedient to her as I can, and I find that it's helping me understand humility and the Godly submission He expects us to learn, but because of the rift He's put between us, it's getting harder and harder.

 

[com7fy8]

I am not Messianic, but in case I may offer a few things here, thank you >

I've tried to respectfully show and tell her why I believe as I do, using scripture, videos, my testimony, etc, etc, but she just sits silently, playing with her phone, watching tv, rolling her eyes, yelling out grace, grace, grace, and at the end of it, nothing improves. She seems to test me by trying to get me to do something I've repeatedly explained to her I cannot nor will not do because Torah forbids it. Keeping and remembering the sabbath rest, a dietary instruction, etc, and when I answer with something I've said and explained to her 1000 times, she blows up, gets visibly irritated, huffs and puffs, rolls her eyes and says or does something passive aggressively as if it's the first time she's heard it.

This is not how our Apostle Paul says for us to relate with people. Of course, we depend on Yeshua for His grace (2 Corinthians 12:7-11), and grace does not have us treating anyone, like you are describing.

You have the perfect opportunity to learn how to love, with an impossible person.

And be her example . . . of how to be >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

 

[gadar perets]

Something I've found is that family members eventually get tired of trying to stop you. The first year is the roughest I think. Maybe a little more time and study is in order.

I agree. My father almost choked to death on his dinner when I said my wife and I would not be celebrating Christmas. After a while they accepted that as well as our Sabbath keeping and obedience to Torah.

 

[Devin P]

I am not Messianic, but in case I may offer a few things here, thank you >This is not how our Apostle Paul says for us to relate with people. Of course, we depend on Yeshua for His grace (2 Corinthians 12:7-11), and grace does not have us treating anyone, like you are describing.

You have the perfect opportunity to learn how to love, with an impossible person.

And be her example . . . of how to be >

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

NO! You may NOT offer a few things here! How dare you share some truth with me xD (joking)

Absolutely a great point, and I feel that is what's in the past, kept me going. I seemed to have forgotten that point, so I thank you for reminding me of that beautiful life lesson once again, thank you

 

[Devin P]

I agree. My father almost choked to death on his dinner when I said my wife and I would not be celebrating Christmas. After a while they accepted that as well as our Sabbath keeping and obedience to Torah.

Haha, yeah, I could see that. It's a great point though, I just need to give her time to stop trying to do whatever she's trying to do to get me to drop it, and in time she'll come to accept it as an extension of me. Thanks for your story brother.

 

[Devin P]

Something I've found is that family members eventually get tired of trying to stop you. The first year is the roughest I think. Maybe a little more time and study is in order.

There's an interesting quote from Paul I'm thinking of, in 1 Corinthians 5, where he's talking about casting out certain kinds of Law breakers. He emphasizes that he means people who are already brothers and sisters in Christ who transgress these certain Laws in particular, and not people of the world who have not yet come to Christ. I believe 1 John 5, 2 Peter 2, and Hebrews 10 are related.

I think it's worth studying, but I don't know if it applies to your situation or not, or in what way. I'm hoping the Holy Spirit will help fill in any details.

Yahweh help us!

Great point, and I definitely appreciate your insight. I need to be more patient with her, you're absolutely right! Studying is definitely a necessity too, absolutely!

May He help us all! I need to spend more time praying. I feel that it's our greatest weapon, and yet we neglect it (at least I do) more than I should. Shabbat Shalom brother! May you be given peace beyond all understanding in your journey

 

[HARK!]

I'm merely asking for advice.

This is not an easy issue. It's one a struggle with myself, not with my mother, but with people who I love in general.

(CLV) Lk 12:51
Are you supposing that I came along to give peace to the earth? Not, I am saying to you, but rather division,

(CLV) Lk 12:52
For from now on there will be five in one home divided, three against two, and two against three will be divided,

(CLV) Lk 12:53
father against son and son against father, and mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law."

2 Corinthians 6:14-17King James Version (KJV)
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?

16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.


(CLV) 2Jn 1:8
Be looking to yourselves, that you should not be destroying that for which you work, but you may be getting full wages.

(CLV) 2Jn 1:9
Everyone who is taking the lead and not remaining in the teaching of Christ |has not God. He who is remaining in the teaching, this one has the Father as well as the Son.

(CLV) 2Jn 1:10
If anyone is coming to you and is not bringing this teaching, be not taking him into your home, and say not to him, "Rejoice!"

(CLV) 2Jn 1:11
For he who is saying to him to be rejoicing is participating in his wicked acts.

My prayers go out to both of you.

 

[Heber Book List]

Allow me to be open and honest with you...

Do you ever go to Church with her? The Tanach appears hundreds of times in the Christian Testament - if you went to Church with her occasionally (or asked what the readings were at her Church), you could then share with her and refer to any Tanach references in her Sunday reading(s)? You may then be able to show her that without the Tanach, the Christian Testament could not exist. Has she read the letter to the Hebrews, do you know? it is all about Torah matters, but it is in the heart of the Christian Testament. She will know, I am sure, the 'ten commandments' and the requirement to observe Shabbat. Small chinks in her armour that you can gently raise with her?

The basis of your response needs to be that you start where she is at in her belief, and her understanding of yours, and gently move her forward. At the moment, from her point of view, she seems to have a mountain to climb to even begin to understand her son . She is not an unbeliever to be converted, she is your mother, whom you must, above all else, honour, as required by you in Torah. That means respecting her in every way, even if she doesn't follow in your ways. Treat her not as one who needs to be converted to your ways (which are great to hear about, by the way), but the one to whom you owe endless patience and respect which is a command from G_d.

Trust G_d, to help you in all this and I am sure it will work out, but in his timing. Do not move out - you will break your mother's heart, even though she would never admit to it, and it may destroy her faith, which is in the same G_d, ultimately!

 

[JIMINZ]

A few things.

You are to honor your Mother, that would be deferring to her "Love Never Fails".

Remember, even if both of you are contributing to the household expenses, it remains her house, anything that is in your power to change or modify to make her more emotionally stable, (Then do so).

You specifically mentioned Dietary, first it is important to understand, both you and your Mother are Christians, we should never put an occasion of stumbling in front of (in this case) a Sister, remember, even though she is your Mother, she is also your Sister in the Lord, you both are Children of God.

As a Christian (Messianic) you need to take the lead, by showing her what you believe is not a threat to what she believes,

I don't mean by a constant explaining of your beliefs as opposed to hers, but by a doing, showing Charity when it presents itself.

Defer, step back, don't push the issue, the things you do or allow, are within your power, you can be observant to your self, the things you are trying to do in keeping Torah are Temporal, remember Jesus taught on the Letter, and the Spirit of the Law, don't be so Dogmatic, by placing stumbling blocks in your Mothers way.

Lastly, become a Servant to your Mother, I mean literally, anticipate her every want or need, fulfill what you can when you can, that the Lord will say, "Well done my good and faithful servant" "Whatsoever you have done to the least of these, you have done it unto Me, for therein is the Law and the Prophets" this then is the Kingdom of God.

And as much as lieth in you, live in peace with all men.

 

[Open Heart]

Alright, so first off, if you don't agree with my beliefs, I understand 100%. I don't want to battle theology on this post however, I'm merely asking for advice on what to do with this situation.

I'm Torah observant, and I believe in Yeshua (Jesus) but, I've only been observing torah for, well, this is my first year.

My question is: Because I'm Torah observant, and my mother isn't, and she's getting rather irritated and disrespectful regarding it and my love of Elohim, should I just move? Will me living with my mother, someone who doesn't care or regard Torah at all, hinder the blessings of יהוה?

I find that the more and more I am growing in my walk in Torah, and the more I'm coming to understand, the more and more tense and spiteful the air is getting between us. She had a hard and bad experience with her parents who were Jehovah's Witnesses, and anything that requires you to refrain from anything (Torah and it's instructions in this case) she absolutely hates and I'm finding she can't deal with it, understand it, nor will she even try to.

I've tried to respectfully show and tell her why I believe as I do, using scripture, videos, my testimony, etc, etc, but she just sits silently, playing with her phone, watching tv, rolling her eyes, yelling out grace, grace, grace, and at the end of it, nothing improves. She seems to test me by trying to get me to do something I've repeatedly explained to her I cannot nor will not do because Torah forbids it. Keeping and remembering the sabbath rest, a dietary instruction, etc, and when I answer with something I've said and explained to her 1000 times, she blows up, gets visibly irritated, huffs and puffs, rolls her eyes and says or does something passive aggressively as if it's the first time she's heard it.

I'm not trying to belittle her on this post, I'm just adequately describing the situation, so out of all who post on here, to those that give me the best advice they can, they'll be armed with enough knowledge of my situation to do so. I'm not going to respond to anyone trying to battle their theological perspectives with me, I'm merely asking for advice. Thank you to all in advance!

Remember that it is just as important that she have the freedom to worship as she feels fit as you do. We cannot force our ways on others. If she asks, you can explain. But I hope you aren't forcing her to listen.

The real question is, are you able to observe the law while living in the same house? For example, do you buy your own food? Does it ruin your Sabbath that she has the TV making noise on Sabbath? If you can observe as you wish the same home then it's not a problem.

The secondary question is, does she hassle you about it when you don't try to convert her? If she does, try to make peace with her. "Shalom in the Home" as the Rabbis say.

My son didn't want to keep kosher; he especially didn't want to give up pork, an I was worried that he would be lazy and mix up my meat and dairy dishes. I had resisted his wished to have a playstation for many years, as we could not afford one. So I made the deal, he could have his playstation if he kept kosher while in the home. It worked fabulously.

Obviously your mom doesn't care about a playstation, an perhaps doesn't want any material object. But maybe she might respond to you saying, "Let's live and let live," or to you agreeing to do something for her on a regular basis that she has always tried to get you to do.