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so fearful and unable to trust God

Discussion in 'Trauma, PTSD & Dissociation' started by abovetheclouds, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. Renee Arisen

    Renee Arisen Member

    Last edited: Feb 18, 2015
  2. parsley

    parsley .

    Guinea pigs -- the great cure-all. Everyone needs a guinea pig. (Oops we're not supposed to prescribe solutions here.)

    That's horrible. I don't know how that doctrine started but it is hardly rooted in truth or scriptures. And it is far too often used to crush well-meaning people, including faithful believers.

    I have been in a situation where it was hard to read the Bible or pray. What I did then, was to just pray that God would understand if I backed off certain things, and keep me safe.

    He did.
    It took a long time, but I really needed to step back from the confusion long enough to hear and see clearly. I didn't completely separate myself from prayer and reading, but stayed away from anything that might cause risk or pain. Then I was able to bring better things back in, one by one.

    Stay in charge.
  3. jungdanielle29

    jungdanielle29 New Member

    United States
    In Relationship

    I was looking up similar cases like mine and this showed up and this hit home for me...This is me right now...Plus thoughts of how God can allow long period of suffering (for me, 8 years or so of physical mental and emotional abuse started when I was 6) these questions cant seem to get off of me no matter how some of my mentor explain to me free will, etc...I just dont understand. I am defensive and control freak in a way and it is a pattern from when I was young because I've been through so much... I am wondering how you are right now? I see this post is 4 years ago..I am four years late..I hope you see this.
  4. rosielightshines922

    rosielightshines922 New Member

    United States
    Hello!! I am an incest survivor...He forced me to be his prostitute...my OWN biological father who told me "God told me to teach you about sex" and he forced me to do devient forplay
    as a result of this YEARS , (through out my teen years) I came to hate and distrust God..WHY did God let this monster kill my spirit, my innocense, my trust, my love,my potential, my ability to make a life for myself...he ruined my life 100%...first it was the trauma, then the mental illness (had a break down a few years after the abuse stopped, but he was still harrassing me) and i abused alcohol and drugs to numb my pain.....I hated God for allowing this and not helping me since....I SO want to trust him, I so want to have a loving, "feel safe" relationship with him, but I can't see any evidence that God has lifted a finger to deliver me from the fear, addiction to control (I panic when I am not in control because things will fall apart if I am not in control) I want to give control over to God, but he seems disinterested in me and my issues....

    I really am damaged...I am in ACA 12 steps recovery rooms and CR recovery meetings at my church...i am thinking of leaving the church and just giving up on any God helping me be able to support myself....Lost my big bookkeeping client and am in the worst poverty, worse then before and NO sign of divine help....so I am thinking of leaving the church because I don't feel honest going..Like everyone there believes and trusts and I don't---I want to but I don't so I don't feel like I should be there....

    Lord I am messed up!!! recovery has helped me a lot, but I still struggle with needing to be in control, trusting in anything and beliving that my life will ever be anything but hardship and poverty...

    that is my story.....