First let me apologize for a potentially long post. I am a 26 year old active duty soldier. Back in 2016 I started talking to a girl I went to high school with. I was stationed in Texas at the time while she was back in my home state of Tennessee. During that time she was a single mother and I was in the process of transferring from Texas to a new base located in Tampa Florida. Things seemed like they were going great for us, and we hit a small rough patch where she didn't speak to me for about a month. But eventually came back around. While we had not seen each other in person since High School (I graduated in 2010 and her in 2012) things seemed pretty serious between us. we were exchanging I love yous and I was smitten.
At the end of December 2016 I took leave to go spend New Years with her and her son. On New eve into new years after everyone had went to sleep for the night we ended up sleeping together. After that night we grew so much closer, she even met all of my family during the remainder of my trip. Mid January I had to leave and head back to Florida, to get back to work for the Army. Before I left I had been chatting with another woman I had served with. She was moving to Tampa from Washington State to go to school with and to be with a guy she met and had been dating on and off. She had asked me if she could stay with me until she found a place of her own and her GI Bill benefits kicked in. She would have stayed with the man she was dating but she was unsure of how their relationship would work out and did not want to risk a falling out with him and be stuck in a new area with no place to go. So I agreed with out telling my girlfriend.
Fast forward about two weeks. My girlfriend had made it aware to me she was pregnant, even though I initially was shocked and scared, I was excited because I loved this woman with every thing I had in me. At this moment we planned to get married and start a life together. Life was amazing. I was doing everything I possibly could to build myself and prepare to be a father. The woman that was staying with me ended up being there about 2 months vs a few weeks, I let her have my room and I slept on the couch. We had no sexual or questionable type of engagement between each other. It was solely me helping out a battle buddy. On my birthday the girl got me a card and we celebrated my birthday my going to a pet store and just looking at animals.
At the end of March she moved out and was on her own. Fast forward again to April 4th 2017. I was told by my girlfriend to expect a package for my birthday, after I got off my 12 hour shift that day, I checked the mail and received nothing. I went into my apartment and texted her and told her I didn't get anything and she did not reply instantly, I assumed it was because she was also at work. After eating dinner and a shower, while I was watching Netflix she told me that the package should be there. I said ok Ill go check again incase it came late. I grabbed my mailbox key and opened my door to see her standing with her son in one hand and a Birthday cake in the other. The package was her and her son there to visit me for a few days. I was so happy and had never had a better surprise. Two days into her trip I noticed her acting different and disappointed and what seemed to be slightly upset with me. I tried to press her and ask what was wrong but she said everything was fine, but I could tell other wise. She eventually texted me while I was at work saying that she is sorry but we are just too different to be together and that she was leaving my apartment to get a hotel until she returned home that way things were not awkward. I was crushed and had no clue what was going on.
I eventually found out that she had found the card from the girl and knew that she had stayed there. I knew then that I messed up by not being honest with her to begin with. I had already had plans to take leave in May to go home and marry her and mover her to Tampa with me. I ended up driving back to Tennessee in may to visit family and drop some things off to her that she bought for her son and could not take on the plane. I arrived at her aunts house where she lived and she didn't even speak to me. Her aunt felt terrible for me because she knew that I really loved her and was a good guy that just had a lapse in judgment. But I said my good byes and did what any young Soldier tends to do during hard times and turned to drinking heavily. While still on this trip I was led to believe that she had lost the baby, and that she was moving to Nashville. At that point I felt like it was all over and there was no chance for us, but me being the stubborn man I am I still held onto loving her.
Fast forward to January 1st 2018. I had woke up to a text from her saying she wanted to ask me a question, and wanted me to answer it honestly. So I said ok, she asked me if while we were together if I had ever cheated on her. I gave her the honest reply that I could have never done that to her or son, and that I still loved them dearly. She asked me when Ill be coming home again that we needed to catch up. I wasn't sure but over the months she would ask me when I'm coming home and that we needed to catch up, but I always put off the trip, because I was afraid of going home seeing her getting my hopes up and being crushed all over again. Mid March I told her I would be coming home and I would make plans with her. But I in reality was going to delay the trip because Of the same reason before. Two days later I get a call from my uncle saying that my mom was sent to the University of Tennessee hospital for a stroke and I was forced to go home, so I decided to man up and meet up with her while I was there and get it over with. I let her know I was in town and why. She said after everything was settled with my mother that we would make plans. Every time we had made plans she dodged me and I finally told her ok we we are going to meet here at this time, if you don't show, youll never hear from me again.
Needless to say she didn't show up and I was upset so I talked to her aunt. Her aunt said that she was there and that she would talk to her. I found out that she had actually had forgot about our plans and felt bad so they both invited me to the house, because she needed to talk to me. I mustered up the courage and drove. After fighting the evening traffic in Knoxville I pulled into the driveway, stepped out of my car and was prepared to knock on the door and find out what was so important. Before I could even make it to the porch her aunt stepped out and said lets talk in your car for a minute. I was weirded out at this point. But we talked in the car about my behavior with drinking and such over the past year and my phase of being suicidal and threatening to kill myself. Eventually her aunt looked at me and said, inside the house to have a 6 month old son. He is every bit of yours, you can either leave now and we will never try to contact you or you can go inside and meet him and be a part of his life. She also I me that my ex was not ready to date me or anyone and that she said if anything happened to grow between me and her again then we would go from there. I chose to meet my Son and be a part of his life.
Ill skip the awkwardness of the initial meeting. Me trying to make up for lost time was invited to stay with them so I could be with the boys, things between me and her were very friendly and fun. We caught up on the lost time and hung out a lot with the kids and grew closer than ever. Every day there was this tension between us, not sexual tension, but emotional tension. Like we had feeling for each other still, but was unsure if it was awkward to express them. Eventually after a few car rides on the way to resturants, we had serious talks and bonded with each other. We knew the feelings were there at this point. ONe night we sat on the couch and she kept looking at me, she confided in me that me taking so well to being a father to both boys really brought forth emotions. Over the next few days it was like we were dating all over again. She was impressed with how mature I had grown since our break up and things were looking up. The night after we had traveled to bring my son to meet his grand parents, we bonded in the car. The next night instead of sleeping on the couch, I laid down a few blankets in the floor of her room and she eventually got up from her bed and laid down with me. I expressed to her the whole year she was gone I never stopped loving her and that I was sure with me trying to dodge her but being forced to come home because of a medical emergency was Gods miracle to bring us back together and to put me into my sons life.
The following morning before she left for work she kissed me and told me she loved me. SHE Told first. So I figured things were looking up. Unfortunetly I had to leave the next day to make it back in time for work. The morning before my departure we said our good byes and she was really upset that I was leaving, she didn't show it , but I could hear the sadness and pain in her voice. I told her I loved her and that we would be ok cause God brought us to this point for a reason, and I truly and whole heartedly believe it. She told me she loved me and I asked her if she meant it, and she said yes. 2 hours later I said good bye to my kids and started my 10 hour drive back to florida. I texted her and asked her with the things went, are we back together, she told me as of right now no, because she had some trust issues and was not willing to do a long distance relationship. I understood given my screw up a year prior. But now that I'm here in florida her attitude and made a 180. She doesn't tell me she loves me and is less affectionate toward me. I believe this is because she doesn't want to get attached to me and have the same thing happen. I honestly believe God brought me through this odd turn of events to bring us back together. But I wanted to hear the thoughts of someone else. Any input of if I should hold on to the faith that this is what God has planned, or if anyone has advice to offer. Thank you all in advance.
At the end of December 2016 I took leave to go spend New Years with her and her son. On New eve into new years after everyone had went to sleep for the night we ended up sleeping together. After that night we grew so much closer, she even met all of my family during the remainder of my trip. Mid January I had to leave and head back to Florida, to get back to work for the Army. Before I left I had been chatting with another woman I had served with. She was moving to Tampa from Washington State to go to school with and to be with a guy she met and had been dating on and off. She had asked me if she could stay with me until she found a place of her own and her GI Bill benefits kicked in. She would have stayed with the man she was dating but she was unsure of how their relationship would work out and did not want to risk a falling out with him and be stuck in a new area with no place to go. So I agreed with out telling my girlfriend.
Fast forward about two weeks. My girlfriend had made it aware to me she was pregnant, even though I initially was shocked and scared, I was excited because I loved this woman with every thing I had in me. At this moment we planned to get married and start a life together. Life was amazing. I was doing everything I possibly could to build myself and prepare to be a father. The woman that was staying with me ended up being there about 2 months vs a few weeks, I let her have my room and I slept on the couch. We had no sexual or questionable type of engagement between each other. It was solely me helping out a battle buddy. On my birthday the girl got me a card and we celebrated my birthday my going to a pet store and just looking at animals.
At the end of March she moved out and was on her own. Fast forward again to April 4th 2017. I was told by my girlfriend to expect a package for my birthday, after I got off my 12 hour shift that day, I checked the mail and received nothing. I went into my apartment and texted her and told her I didn't get anything and she did not reply instantly, I assumed it was because she was also at work. After eating dinner and a shower, while I was watching Netflix she told me that the package should be there. I said ok Ill go check again incase it came late. I grabbed my mailbox key and opened my door to see her standing with her son in one hand and a Birthday cake in the other. The package was her and her son there to visit me for a few days. I was so happy and had never had a better surprise. Two days into her trip I noticed her acting different and disappointed and what seemed to be slightly upset with me. I tried to press her and ask what was wrong but she said everything was fine, but I could tell other wise. She eventually texted me while I was at work saying that she is sorry but we are just too different to be together and that she was leaving my apartment to get a hotel until she returned home that way things were not awkward. I was crushed and had no clue what was going on.
I eventually found out that she had found the card from the girl and knew that she had stayed there. I knew then that I messed up by not being honest with her to begin with. I had already had plans to take leave in May to go home and marry her and mover her to Tampa with me. I ended up driving back to Tennessee in may to visit family and drop some things off to her that she bought for her son and could not take on the plane. I arrived at her aunts house where she lived and she didn't even speak to me. Her aunt felt terrible for me because she knew that I really loved her and was a good guy that just had a lapse in judgment. But I said my good byes and did what any young Soldier tends to do during hard times and turned to drinking heavily. While still on this trip I was led to believe that she had lost the baby, and that she was moving to Nashville. At that point I felt like it was all over and there was no chance for us, but me being the stubborn man I am I still held onto loving her.
Fast forward to January 1st 2018. I had woke up to a text from her saying she wanted to ask me a question, and wanted me to answer it honestly. So I said ok, she asked me if while we were together if I had ever cheated on her. I gave her the honest reply that I could have never done that to her or son, and that I still loved them dearly. She asked me when Ill be coming home again that we needed to catch up. I wasn't sure but over the months she would ask me when I'm coming home and that we needed to catch up, but I always put off the trip, because I was afraid of going home seeing her getting my hopes up and being crushed all over again. Mid March I told her I would be coming home and I would make plans with her. But I in reality was going to delay the trip because Of the same reason before. Two days later I get a call from my uncle saying that my mom was sent to the University of Tennessee hospital for a stroke and I was forced to go home, so I decided to man up and meet up with her while I was there and get it over with. I let her know I was in town and why. She said after everything was settled with my mother that we would make plans. Every time we had made plans she dodged me and I finally told her ok we we are going to meet here at this time, if you don't show, youll never hear from me again.
Needless to say she didn't show up and I was upset so I talked to her aunt. Her aunt said that she was there and that she would talk to her. I found out that she had actually had forgot about our plans and felt bad so they both invited me to the house, because she needed to talk to me. I mustered up the courage and drove. After fighting the evening traffic in Knoxville I pulled into the driveway, stepped out of my car and was prepared to knock on the door and find out what was so important. Before I could even make it to the porch her aunt stepped out and said lets talk in your car for a minute. I was weirded out at this point. But we talked in the car about my behavior with drinking and such over the past year and my phase of being suicidal and threatening to kill myself. Eventually her aunt looked at me and said, inside the house to have a 6 month old son. He is every bit of yours, you can either leave now and we will never try to contact you or you can go inside and meet him and be a part of his life. She also I me that my ex was not ready to date me or anyone and that she said if anything happened to grow between me and her again then we would go from there. I chose to meet my Son and be a part of his life.
Ill skip the awkwardness of the initial meeting. Me trying to make up for lost time was invited to stay with them so I could be with the boys, things between me and her were very friendly and fun. We caught up on the lost time and hung out a lot with the kids and grew closer than ever. Every day there was this tension between us, not sexual tension, but emotional tension. Like we had feeling for each other still, but was unsure if it was awkward to express them. Eventually after a few car rides on the way to resturants, we had serious talks and bonded with each other. We knew the feelings were there at this point. ONe night we sat on the couch and she kept looking at me, she confided in me that me taking so well to being a father to both boys really brought forth emotions. Over the next few days it was like we were dating all over again. She was impressed with how mature I had grown since our break up and things were looking up. The night after we had traveled to bring my son to meet his grand parents, we bonded in the car. The next night instead of sleeping on the couch, I laid down a few blankets in the floor of her room and she eventually got up from her bed and laid down with me. I expressed to her the whole year she was gone I never stopped loving her and that I was sure with me trying to dodge her but being forced to come home because of a medical emergency was Gods miracle to bring us back together and to put me into my sons life.
The following morning before she left for work she kissed me and told me she loved me. SHE Told first. So I figured things were looking up. Unfortunetly I had to leave the next day to make it back in time for work. The morning before my departure we said our good byes and she was really upset that I was leaving, she didn't show it , but I could hear the sadness and pain in her voice. I told her I loved her and that we would be ok cause God brought us to this point for a reason, and I truly and whole heartedly believe it. She told me she loved me and I asked her if she meant it, and she said yes. 2 hours later I said good bye to my kids and started my 10 hour drive back to florida. I texted her and asked her with the things went, are we back together, she told me as of right now no, because she had some trust issues and was not willing to do a long distance relationship. I understood given my screw up a year prior. But now that I'm here in florida her attitude and made a 180. She doesn't tell me she loves me and is less affectionate toward me. I believe this is because she doesn't want to get attached to me and have the same thing happen. I honestly believe God brought me through this odd turn of events to bring us back together. But I wanted to hear the thoughts of someone else. Any input of if I should hold on to the faith that this is what God has planned, or if anyone has advice to offer. Thank you all in advance.
