For me, it is not the sex that I miss the most; I have been in a pitiful marriage for 5 years that was sexless so I got used to going without that for months upon months. What I actually miss is having someone in the bed beside me, someone to pray with, someone to do daily devotions with, someone to accompany me to church functions and the like...in a word...companionship.
After years of being married, yet living completely isolated, I found a woman that is right with God, goes to church, raises children to a solid upbringing and helps around the farm. Now we do not live together, and in fact live 174 miles apart, and because of that have put everything else in proper order first. The second to the last thing we did is have sex, and even then it was only once in a moment of weakness. So yes commitment is there...
Now here is where the waters get muddied. The only reason we are not married now is due to circumstances of modern society...her kids being in school, custody arrangements having not been changed, work schedules that are seasonal...the point I am trying to make is, society has gotten extremely complex and there is a vast difference between marriage and wedding traditions. I am quite certain in biblical times people did not have the dating scene, the engagement, the church ceremony, the reception and the honeymoon...all those things are tradition not actual marriage. Yet people expect all those things.
So what is marriage: publicly professed vows between one man, and one woman, before God and loved ones. Okay one big check on that!
The thing I find however is that people who are not in the situation many of us are in, forget the human element and judge. I often find this from married folks who are walking a very thin line, because the only way for them to have empathy for what many of us have endured, is to lose their spouse. Only then will they know what it is like to wake up to an empty bed, rear children on your own as a single parent, or face financial hardship with the loss of someones joint income. For those people that judge us, watch out because you may just find out what our lives are like and it is not a lot of fun!
But I am not defending promiscuous sex here, in fact I am advocating quite the opposite. My situation is different, we are a long distant relationship and we have some serious hurdles that only God can move in order for us to enjoy true wedlock. I am deeply disappointed in myself because I had such high hopes of making it to the wedding night without having been with her, but temptation was just too great. So yes, we lost a round at temptation, but we are deeply committed to each other, and through God's grace, will move on and prosper in a relationship that he has brought together.
