Singing during church service

[Amyk]

I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old. Neither have ever enjoyed singing in school concerts, etc. I recently had a discussion with someone who said that kids should be required to sing during church services. My two will stand respectfully but do not sing. What is everyone’s thoughts? Do you require your kids to sing?

 

[thecolorsblend]

I think it's a bit absurd for parents to demand children to sing when they're probably self-conscious enough as it is. Since nearly everybody else is singing, they probably already perceive the social obligation to sing themselves. Their refusal to do so shouldn't be criticized, imo.

Full disclosure: I'm tone deaf. I can't tell which note is a high note and which note is a low note without a hymnal. And even with a hymnal, I'm still flying blind since I can't carry a tune and never know if I'm hitting the right note. If I do get the note right, it's by coincidence. So I don't always sing along either.

 

[dzheremi]

Maybe they would benefit from attending a service in an Eastern church (Greek, Romanian, Russian, Arab, Egyptian, Ethiopian, etc.), if there is one available to you? It could be not only a kind of cultural enrichment, but also a good demonstration of singing in church, since in the Christian East all parts of the service are sung, except for the sermon.

Greek Orthodox liturgy segment

Indian Orthodox liturgy segment

It is definitely something to get used to, if you are not from a tradition where praying this way is common, but it is also good to remember that this was at one time the norm in the entire Christian world, so you and your children would be joining generations upon generations of people of all ages and backgrounds who have always sung and chanted to God. I have found on a personal level, coming from a Church that does not really 'enforce' singing or necessarily do it all that much (the Roman Catholic Church) to the Orthodox Church, that the shyness about singing goes away very quickly when literally everyone is doing it as a matter of course. Then it feels weird not to sing, even if you aren't very good at it.

And most Eastern churches that are now in America offer services in English, even if it is sometimes a bit accented.

 

[Sketcher]

I would say talk to them in the car before or after the service about why it is good to sing.

 

[friend of]

Show them how much love they can give to God when they sing their hearts out for his praise and glory!

 

[bekkilyn]

People worship in different ways and maybe singing just isn't their thing right now (if ever), and if you spend a lot of time and effort trying to force them to sing, they will get to the point where they won't want to go to church at all and will end up dreading the whole idea of it. Singing in worship is a gift to God and God really doesn't seem to want gifts given grudgingly. I have never heard of a parent trying to force their kids to sing before. In fact, many adults don't even sing, or they just lip sync to try to give people the appearance they are singing. They can give to God in other ways.

 

[dqhall]

I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old. Neither have ever enjoyed singing in school concerts, etc. I recently had a discussion with someone who said that kids should be required to sing during church services. My two will stand respectfully but do not sing. What is everyone’s thoughts? Do you require your kids to sing?

Some people do not sing as they do not think they have good singing voices. Others do not sing as they do not agree with the words to the song. I did not like to sing songs about going to heaven as I thought it might be premature boasting. If I go to o heaven and they sing there, I might then sing about being in heaven.

 

[Willie T]

Maybe they would benefit from attending a service in an Eastern church (Greek, Romanian, Russian, Arab, Egyptian, Ethiopian, etc.), if there is one available to you? It could be not only a kind of cultural enrichment, but also a good demonstration of singing in church, since in the Christian East all parts of the service are sung, except for the sermon.

Greek Orthodox liturgy segment

Indian Orthodox liturgy segment

It is definitely something to get used to, if you are not from a tradition where praying this way is common, but it is also good to remember that this was at one time the norm in the entire Christian world, so you and your children would be joining generations upon generations of people of all ages and backgrounds who have always sung and chanted to God. I have found on a personal level, coming from a Church that does not really 'enforce' singing or necessarily do it all that much (the Roman Catholic Church) to the Orthodox Church, that the shyness about singing goes away very quickly when literally everyone is doing it as a matter of course. Then it feels weird not to sing, even if you aren't very good at it.

And most Eastern churches that are now in America offer services in English, even if it is sometimes a bit accented.

I can hardly think of anything more punitive than to make a child attend any Orthodox-type Service.

 

[Tolworth John]

I have a 12 year old and a 16 year old. Neither have ever enjoyed singing in school concerts, etc. I recently had a discussion with someone who said that kids should be required to sing during church services. My two will stand respectfully but do not sing. What is everyone’s thoughts? Do you require your kids to sing?

A church service is not a concert, so have you asked them why they don't sing?

Do they sing at other times, playing at home, while listening to music etc.

 

[seeking.IAM]

I think it's not a good idea to get into power struggles with teenagers over church, lest they become oppositional to church entirely. Insisting on attendance is one thing whilst they are minors living with you, insisting on what they do once there is quite another thing and likely to be counter-productive. I think parents should let teenagers participate according to their comfort level...just like us adults do.

 

[Llleopard]

Neither of my kids really sang at church either. When they were little, we danced at the back, but as they got older they did like yours and just stood respectfully. My son never sang at school either. He got in trouble for not singing the national anthem etc, but his own teacher had the sense to see it was not going to change. She just accepted that he doesn't like to sing and advised him to mouth the words to keep out of trouble. In church, I tend to think it's not really anyone else's business how we sing or pray. It's not directed to them anyhow, and maybe they could concentrate on their own self instead!