Sin vs. mistake

[LovebirdsFlying]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

 

[mukk_in]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

No, I don't think you've sinned. Mistake could just be bad judgment and unintentional, all sin is intentional and violates God's commandments (even if people who're sinning don't realize it). Peace in Christ .

 

[Sabertooth]

I see two issues in the OP,

1. Generally, honest mistakes are covered by grace once one is saved, but not before.
2. If your report is truthful, your first husband broke your vows, so you no longer have an obligation to honor them.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Thank you for the feedback so far.

Two things it just occurred to me to point out.

1.) In fairness, I said *I* don't want to debate whether my divorce or remarriage is a sin. I didn't say *other people* can't debate it. So if you wish to, go ahead and say what you want to say, and I'll stay out of that part of the discussion.

2.) I must disagree with the pastor on one minor issue. He says animals aren't held accountable because they aren't capable of asking forgiveness. I've seen animals when they know they've done wrong. Yes, even cats. They don't say it in words, but oh boy their eyes show it. They're so, so sorry.

 

[Paidiske]

I'd say motivation matters.

Did you sin in entering your first marriage? Unanswerable without knowing your motivation. Did you make that mistake because - for example, I'm not making any accusations - even though you knew it might not be a perfect choice, you doubted your own worth and thought you ought to take what life was offering you? That might be a sin; the sin that refuses to trust God's valuation of each of us as precious.

But if you genuinely entered into the marriage open-hearted towards your husband, and out of no distorted motivation, then I'd say no, not a sin.

If that makes sense?

 

[A_Thinker]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

The scriptures do indicates that we, generally, sometimes intentionally ... and sometimes unintentionally, ... fall short of the glory of God. And, ultimately, it is our proneness to "miss the mark" that makes us unfit for the kingdom of God. God desired "children" who were like Him, i.e. in His image. Our imperfection disqualifies us for this. So, without God's intervention, we had no hope of finding fellowship with God, whether we sin willfully or not.

Of course, the remedy for this is acceptance of God's life-changing power and plan ... brought to us through His Son. It isn't so much that God requires perfection from us, ... but that we have taken/are taking the REMEDY for our condition ... and thereby, ... are progressing in our walk with God.

So, it's not that God blames you for your first marriage, ... but the results of that decision is not a fit for your life with God.

I don't know if the distinction between intentional sin ... and mistakes is all that critical ... as the remedy for both is necessary ... and the same.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I'd say motivation matters.

Did you sin in entering your first marriage? Unanswerable without knowing your motivation. Did you make that mistake because - for example, I'm not making any accusations - even though you knew it might not be a perfect choice, you doubted your own worth and thought you ought to take what life was offering you? That might be a sin; the sin that refuses to trust God's valuation of each of us as precious.

But if you genuinely entered into the marriage open-hearted towards your husband, and out of no distorted motivation, then I'd say no, not a sin.

If that makes sense?

Oooh, great insight.

I married him because I felt it was the right and proper thing to do because we already had a child. I was a teen mom, finished with high school, but just barely. (Premarital sex is, indeed, a sin. No argument there.) And yes, self-esteem is also a factor. I did doubt my own worth. I had grown up in an alcoholic household full of domestic violence. The man I had dated before I met my ex-husband was even worse, and is possibly the reason my ex attracted me. "Well, at least he's not as bad as the last one." I probably did think he was the best I was going to get.

 

[Paidiske]

I can relate. Abuse leaves us with deep wounds and tendencies to particular sorts of weaknesses.

Thank God that that is in your past, and healing is a life-long process.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

I can relate. Abuse leaves us with deep wounds and tendencies to particular sorts of weaknesses.

Thank God that that is in your past, and healing is a life-long process.

And Amen to that.

 

[C. J. Berezhnoy]

Good morning.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery.

[

What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

I do not believe that you sinned by marrying your first husband. Assuming you married him because you loved him and sincerely believed he loved you in return, it was by no means a sin. It was an honest mistake.

You are not accountable for your former husband's behavior. To frame your first marriage as your sin is to place the accountability on the incorrect person. You may have missed or ignored the red flags, but that does not a sinner make. At most, I would suggest you revisit the time leading up to your first marriage and identify any flags you missed, so that you are sure to recognize them in any current or future relationships, marital or otherwise.

I understand your current husband means well, but I believe he is muddling accountability here. It is your former husband who sinned, not you. You were never responsible for his misbehavior. Your former husband sinned by abusing you, abusing substances, and betraying your trust.

It concerns me that your current husband places blame on you by suggesting it is your sin that was atoned. I would ask myself if there are any other current situations in your life where your husband erroneously places blame on you for the misdeeds of others, and ensure that those boundaries are clearly delineated as well.

 

[Dave G.]

All pastors don't get all things right all of the time. They do make "mistakes" at the pulpit, they ARE human and do use human understanding . I don't believe either of your marriages is, were ,are a sin, based on your description anyway. But if you have a hint inside of you that feels it is then bring that to God so He can bless you.

If your story is all wrong in Gods eyes and is sin, then so is mine. God knows we sin anyway, the key is bringing it before Him and letting him bring us up out of the ash pit. He blessed David even after David committed murder and had sex. In fact He used three murderous or otherwise sinful men to write certain rather huge portions of scripture, to lead people, to start churches because they knew their faults and trusted God. Yet banished Cain who murdered, because he did that act and then lied to God about it, tried to hide it.

There is a lesson in all that, never hide sin from God but confess it and trust Him with all our hearts, might and strength. It's not about how good we are but how well we believe and trust in the Lord. The devil is very very good at shaking up the roots of our belief, because he knows that is the key to derailing our faith. But God says to focus on Him not the details. We are to trust God, love God, believe God, live with God even if we fall short sometimes and sin. When we bring it to Him He is then just to make our paths straight.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

It concerns me that your current husband places blame on you by suggesting it is your sin that was atoned. I would ask myself if there are any other current situations in your life where your husband erroneously places blame on you for the misdeeds of others, and ensure that those boundaries are clearly delineated as well.

Good morning back. I think if anything it was a bad choice of words. I don't feel like he blamed me for anything, but the comment did get me thinking about if there is a difference between sinning and making a mistake.

 

[RDKirk]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. -- James 1

Sin is a gestation process that begins when a person gives in to any one of the various lusts that are naturally rooted in the flesh.

There is "drawn away and enticed" (from the will of the Father), there is a "conception" --conceiving in the mind the sinful act to be committed--and then there is the actual act of the sin itself. If the Holy Spirit abides within us, then He will be sounding noisy alarms all along that process, because He's not going to lie silent as we drag Him with us into that act.

I agree with you and disagree with your pastor.

 

[DW1980]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

Hi

I don't think you sinned by getting married the first time. I'm also not convinced that animals can "sin". I have 2 cats, and like you've noticed yourself, they definitely know when they've been naughty! But are they sinning? Do they have a conscious awareness that they are violating God's laws? No. Is the fact that they have destroyed my lovely leather sofa a sin on their part? No. Annoying for me, yes!

You asked is a mistake the same as a sin. This is an interesting question. Maybe a better way to think about it is whether you can or should be held accountable for it. In your case, I am sure your first marriage was entered into faithfully on your part. In hindsight it was a mistake, but not sinful surely. While mistakes have consequences, like sin, can you be held accountable?

Either way, Jesus died to cover ALL our sins. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 4:3-5, "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God."

This, to me, suggests the appropriate way to look at things. God knows your motives, so if you have a clear conscience before God, we can trust him to do what is right. It's interesting that a clear conscience doesn't make us innocent, but Paul seems to suggest that the judgement is based on our motives.

Jesus' death reconciles us to God, as Romans 4:7 says, "Blessed are those whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered."

 

[Halbhh]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

In order for something bad to be counted as sin, the person must be aware it is wrong. I take this as either knowing or feeling it is wrong (conscience - Romans chapter 2, v6-16).

No sin without having awareness --Romans 4.15 and 5.13

But we following Him can and do stumble (as Peter did significantly in Galatians chapter 2), and we need to Then confess sincerely in our hearts to God, and then are forgiven, as John wrote in the first chapter of 1 John. We see confessing, repenting, are part of our journey, when we feel (conscience) we've done wrong, and we are fully forgiven when we do so.

 

[C. J. Berezhnoy]

Good morning back. I think if anything it was a bad choice of words. I don't feel like he blamed me for anything, but the comment did get me thinking about if there is a difference between sinning and making a mistake.

I'm relieved to hear that. Thank you for clarifying. My apologies for misunderstanding.

 

[RDKirk]

In order for something bad to be counted as sin, the person must be aware it is wrong. I take this as either knowing or feeling it is wrong (conscience - Romans chapter 2, v6-16).

Speaking legalistically--that is, speaking under the Mosaic Law--it's interesting that under the Law, the sin technically occurred even though unknowingly, however atonement was not required until the sin was known. This reflects on Romans 7: 7-12.

 

[Soyeong]

Our pastor defines sin as simply "missing the mark; falling short of perfection." It seems to me that mistakes would fall under this category, but as my husband and I were discussing earlier, it seems like willfulness should play some role. You make a mistake by accident. You sin on purpose. You know right from wrong, and deliberately choose to do wrong.

Pastor says that animals, babies, and people with severe mental challenges do sin, because they do things they shouldn't, and that's all sin is. They will be held accountable only as far as they are capable of recognizing and repenting of that sin. For babies and animals, that is not at all. For gradually older children, and for people with mental challenges, it depends on the degree of their capacity.

What prompted our discussion was this: I noted to my husband that today is the 34th anniversary of the day I made the biggest mistake of my life. He knew right away that I was referring to marrying my first husband, and he observed, "But that sin was atoned for."

Interesting choice of words.

My first husband was, and remains to this day, an alcoholic and drug addict. He physically abused me and eventually left me for another woman, so our divorce is biblical on the grounds of adultery. If anyone thinks the divorce and my subsequent remarriage are sins, you're welcome to think so, but I really don't want to debate it. What I'm wondering is, did I sin by marrying my ex in the first place? It was definitely a mistake, but is a mistake the same thing as a sin?

Leviticus 4:2 “Speak to the people of Israel, saying, If anyone sins unintentionally in any of the Lord's commandments about things not to be done, and does any one of them,

Sin offerings were for unintentional sins, while intentional sins are referred to as iniquity.

 

[Shempster]

A mistake is when you think you are doing the right thing but it turns out to be wrong, or a bad choice.
A sin is when you KNOW you are doing wrong and do it anyway.

Same thing as stated above just in my words.