showing love...

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sleepythesahm

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what are some unique ways i can show my husband how much i love him?

(his love languages are "acts of service" and "words of affirmation")



1. Im stealing your bunny;)

But to answer your question, my husband likes to receive brownies or cookies.I dont know why, but when he gets the tray of something made special for him, he knows I love him. I hope thats not too hoaky or obvious.
 
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Redguard

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Don't cookies fall under the "Gifts" category?

If his love languages are Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, then I would think that he's more likely to be interested in you giving him a full-body massage (naked) after a long day, while telling him what a great husband and friend he is.

Take it from me. I'm a MAN.
 
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seremela06

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yes, but he sees me doing things for him such as cooking or baking cookies or cleaning the house as acts of service. gifts would be more like going out and buying him boxers... which i need to do... but i like the naked massage idea... i told him i might do that for him tonight. but i'm HORRIBLE at massages!
 
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Redguard

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Don't tell him next time.

Part of what makes massages and other acts of affection great is when they're received unexpectedly.

If he's thinking about his upcoming massage all day, then he may start building his expectation levels. Meanwhile, you're anxiety is increasing because you're busy thinking about how bad you think you are at giving massages.

I don't think that most guys look for any level of expertise when receiving a massage from their wives. As long as you do it with a feeling of sincerity and desire to please, it should be good enough.
 
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virtualgirl

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Tuck a note in your husband's lunchbox telling him that you appreciate how hard he works, that you love him, etc.

Fill his car with gas, wash it for him, and clean out the inside. Leave a love note tucked up in the visor.

Text him just to say you're thinking of him.

Make a list of 10 things (or more) you love about him and tuck it in his Christmas stocking.

Make a coupon book of things that are meaningful to him: massage, batch of cookies, choice of movie you guys rent from the video store, etc. Let him redeem them when he wishes.

Hope these ideas help.
 
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seremela06

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the stocking and lunchbox ideas are really good! so is the coupon book! i really like the car idea, and i had a few other ideas to do with that. unfortunately, he has an alarm system on his new truck and only one autostart/alarm thing and another one costs $200+ so i can't do anything like that without him knowing something's up because i asked for the keys! poo! he already knows he's getting a massage. i owe him 2 of them and he asked me last night if he could possibly get one tonight. i said i didn't know. but normally i say i'll do it and then i never do. which is why i owe him 2...
 
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snoochface

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Next time you run out to the store, pick up a Hallmark card that says how you feel about him or how you appreciate him. Write it out and put it in the envelope in the car before you come inside, and then surprise him with it.

If he thinks cooking, cleaning, etc., are acts of service that he enjoys, do them. You might also give him a foot or head massage while you're sitting and watching television together.
 
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If he thinks that cooking/cleaning are "acts of service" and expressions of love, then I'm afraid he's missed it entirely.

My husband's primary love language is also acts of service. That means that according to him, his expression of love for me and our family is to go to work every day. Bull. That's responsibility as a provider. If he lived alone, he'd still have to go to work, it wouldn't mean "love" to someone. To him, this also means that I, as a confessed Messie, apparently "don't love him" when the house is left messy sometimes, or the dishes don't get done. Does that mean then that if I hired a maid service to do it, that he'd feel the maid loved him instead? Those are responsibilities of having a family and a home.

Acts of service are the things that we do for others that are OVER AND ABOVE the necessary things. Things that are not required for life and safety.

I'm sorry, but that really chafes my hide when men (believe me, it really is mostly men who do this) use this as a cop-out for spending actual thoughtful attention to showing love to their wives/girlfriends.
 
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seremela06

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If he thinks that cooking/cleaning are "acts of service" and expressions of love, then I'm afraid he's missed it entirely.

My husband's primary love language is also acts of service. That means that according to him, his expression of love for me and our family is to go to work every day. Bull. That's responsibility as a provider. If he lived alone, he'd still have to go to work, it wouldn't mean "love" to someone. To him, this also means that I, as a confessed Messie, apparently "don't love him" when the house is left messy sometimes, or the dishes don't get done. Does that mean then that if I hired a maid service to do it, that he'd feel the maid loved him instead? Those are responsibilities of having a family and a home.

Acts of service are the things that we do for others that are OVER AND ABOVE the necessary things. Things that are not required for life and safety.

I'm sorry, but that really chafes my hide when men (believe me, it really is mostly men who do this) use this as a cop-out for spending actual thoughtful attention to showing love to their wives/girlfriends.

i'm sorry, but in my case, i have to dissagree... i don't normally cook. and the house gets picked up, but not deep cleaned. so when i take the time out of my day to cook a nice meal for my hubby, it is an act of love. normally we just eat whatever we can get out of the fridge. and when i spend my saturday deep cleaning the house instead of going shopping, i consider that an act of love because it is going above and beyond what is normal. i work a full time job and am in school full time, so when i do these things, my husband takes notice and really appreciates it. but i do agree with you on the going to work thing... that's bull poop! :p
 
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