Should Men Shake Hands or Hug?

Kiterius

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Common use lowers value. Rarity and scarcity increase value, e.g, diamonds.

I relational situations, think of someone throws around compliments for any and everything, his compliment reduced in value; however, the value of a compliment from someone who seldom doles them out is priceless.

If that's your thinking, you'd better stop lowering the value of such things. Stop doing kind gestures towards others today. :D
 
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Archivist

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Common use lowers value. Rarity and scarcity increase value, e.g, diamonds.

I relational situations, think of someone throws around compliments for any and everything, his compliment reduced in value; however, the value of a compliment from someone who seldom doles them out is priceless.

Should love be rare? Should we only offer it to a few select individuals? Does loving your neighbor as yourself cheapen the value of love? I don't think so.
 
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Galatea

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Should love be rare? Should we only offer it to a few select individuals? Does loving your neighbor as yourself cheapen the value of love? I don't think so.
Depends on the type of love. Romantic love should be exclusive.

Not that hugs have to be romantic.
 
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Archivist

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Depends on the type of love. Romantic love should be exclusive.

Not that hugs have to be romantic.

No, and I don't think we are talking about romantic hugs in this thread.
 
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jimmyjimmy

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Depends on the type of love. Romantic love should be exclusive.

Not that hugs have to be romantic.

No one said that hugs were only romantic.

What I argue is that hugs should be reserved for some people and some occasions, not all people and all occasions.
 
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Galatea

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No one said that hugs were only romantic.

What I argue is that hugs should be reserved for some people and some occasions, not all people and all occasions.
Of course. I understood what you meant and I agree with your opinion.

I was making the statement that hugs do not have to be romantic in order to stave off someone arguing with me about the nature of hugs, since I made the statement that romantic love should be exclusive.
 
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Galatea

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No, and I don't think we are talking about romantic hugs in this thread.
Yes, I know. That is the reason why I wrote that all hugs are not romantic.

I simply meant that some types of love should be exclusive. Like romantic love.

I used to hate it in middle school and high school when acquaintances or friends would end their notes LYLAS (love you like a sister). They did not mean a sister in Christ, they meant that their friendship was like a sister's. This bothered me, as I have sisters, and friendship love is not the same. It was cheapening the sister relationship.

A hug between people who barely know each other cheapens real friendship.

It all depends on how you view a hug, is it just a gesture of goodwill toward others, or is it a gesture of love between friends?

It goes back to perspective, like so many things do.
 
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bhayes

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My point was not that all hugging is abnormal. In some instances it is normal. In some it's not. It's changed, in a bad way, in that people I hardy know, men and women, hug now, when it was not always that way.

Hopefully its a fad, but it would be nice to return to days when men behaved more like men.


Like you said, its different for your specific cultural environment. So that being said, you can't say that you are more manly than other men in different cultures. Thats a classic example of ethnocentrism
 
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jimmyjimmy

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Yep. You nailed it. The "good" keeps the zombie question going as much as the question does.

A proper casual greeting is a statement, not a question. "Good morning" works well, which, by the way, is the proper answer to "how are you?"
 
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John Hyperspace

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I prefer the simple greeting nod. I've been on my own for such a long time that physical contact with another person is pretty, I'm not sure of the word; surreal? Uncomfortingly atypical? Touch is a powerful thing, and when you're used to it it becomes easy to, forget, how powerful the sensation. But for me, it's a bit too much. I have nothing against the hug, or even the kiss: but both of these are something I don't do; not because I don't love the person; I do. But because contact is so rare that I recoil from the power of it in the same way I recoil from touching an electrical socket.

It has created a situation in which I feel bad for avoiding the contact; many people have been put off by my actions as a sign that I don't care for them, but it's not true. I want to connect in that way, but can't.
 
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Monk Brendan

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I was merely speaking of the etiquette of shaking hands, not wars or women's rights, or the treatment of Southern Belles. You seem to have a bit of resentment toward southerners...thanks for giving my very first post such a warm welcome.

Forgive me. I did not mean to ruffle feathers.
 
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Monk Brendan

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I was merely speaking of the etiquette of shaking hands, not wars or women's rights, or the treatment of Southern Belles. You seem to have a bit of resentment toward southerners

Again, I do apologize. No, I have no problem or resentment to Southerners. My monastic superior is from Birmingham, and for the first year we knew each other, we re-fought the Civil War over and over. However, we ceased doing that years ago. I just use terms like "War of Southern Aggression" to tweak his nose.

I am sorry if I caused you any suffering.
 
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faroukfarouk

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Reading this thread, I agreed with you, yet agreed with others and couldn't figure out my ambivalence. I feel a bit uncomfortable when people I hardly know hug me (except children, that is the exception). I wondered why, since I am by nature a huggy person (with people I know well). I think this post hits it the nail on the head. A hug from someone you hardly know seems to cheapen the gesture.

Many people equate a hug with a handshake now. I think that is the problem, not a problem with hugging- a problem
with making it cheap.
A lot depends on people's culture. Remember the pictures of Yasser Arafat greeting and hugging foreign leaders? this is the custom in many countries. What I object to is busybodies in North America making sweeping assumptions about people from other countries.
 
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Galatea

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A lot depends on people's culture. Remember the pictures of Yasser Arafat greeting and hugging foreign leaders? this is the custom in many countries. What I object to is busybodies in North America making sweeping assumptions about people from other countries.
I was referring to people in the West, not other countries. Even in our country, a hug means different things to different people, as evidenced by the replies in this thread.

Some people think of a hug like a handshake. I recently went to my mother's work party. Some of her coworkers hugged me. I don't know them. I know they were being friendly, so hugged them back, no problem. They equate it with a handshake.

I suppose I am different as I do not offer to hug people I do not know well, it's a step up from a handshake, in my opinion. It is all about perspective.
 
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JackRT

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Refusing a handshake is pretty much an insult. If you are uncomfortable with a hug then I think that you simply do not initiate but accept a hug in good grace if it is offered. We are a multicultural society and standards are very much in a state of flux. I think the rule is to avoid taking offence.
 
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LovebirdsFlying

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People should do whatever is within the comfort zones of themselves and the other person. Someone who is uncomfortable with hugging at all, obviously should not hug. Someone who enjoys hugging should hug only those who are comfortable with it.

It's a good idea to ask first, unless you know that person, or you're in a situation where everybody is hugging everybody else and they're all fine with it. Which, by the way, I don't see anything wrong with. There's no morality attached to it.
 
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Anguspure

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When did the world become so huggy? I've met people for the first time, and they want to hug me! It's odd.

My guess is that the feminizing of culture has led to this current hugfest.

My motto is, why hug when a handshake will do. (stole that line from Frasier)
Men shake hands but brothers, that are Loyal and Love one another deeply, hug.
So I to would find it weird if a person who I'd just met wanted to hug me. But if you're worried about the hug, check out this for a greeting:
th
 
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