Okay, I am going to cut to the chase. The root of the problem is that there is a void in your relationship with your current husband. There is some need that isn't being fulfilled and you are seeking it somewhere else. To help identify what your need is, ask yourself what it is about your boss that is drawing you towards him and ask yourself what is lacking in your husband. I highly recommend seeking marriage counseling. I wouldn't go as far as telling your husband about your growing feelings with your boss. I would recommend talking to him about your needs that are going unfulfilled. Until that void is filled, you will continue struggling with this problem. Lastly and probably most importantly, you need to set some very clear boundaries between yourself and your boss. No going out for lunch together, no flirting, ect. If this is impossible for you to do, you may need to find another job.
I almost agree with this, except that I disagree with the presumption that the problem is necessary the husband's fault.
Many times, people expect things from their spouses that aren't legitimate needs or desires to begin with, or are impossible to provide because it's that person himself who has issues.
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