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Should I stay away from my inlaws

Discussion in 'Married Couples' started by LizaM, Apr 21, 2017.

  1. LizaM

    LizaM New Member

    17
    +11
    Christian
    Married
    I am American my husband is from a Latin American country. My husband had an emotional affair denies having sex but he was planning on leaving me and his son.

    I have forgiven and I just have to watch everything he does all emails and text messages

    One side of his family has been rude to me consistently make belittling statements, and his mother for about 2 years even when I was pregnant was very rude to me. It has gotten so bad that I am so paranoid to eat her food I feel like she hates me. I learned Spanish his family understands me my patients and coworkers understand me but when I speak Spanish to her she ignores me and pretend like she doesn't know what I am saying.

    I am not sure if it is a Hispanic thing a few months ago twice I wanted to give her mail that came to her she didn't want to take it from me I gave it To my husband and she took it from him. And the 2nd time I gave her a banana per her request she made a face ran to the bathroom washed her hand I passed her paper towel she didn't want to take it from me I gave it to my husband and she took it.

    I gathered she doesn't want to take anything directly from me. My energy and spirit is zapped when I go over there. I haven't been there in 5 months. I didn't imagine my life being this way an unfaithful husband and crazy inlaws. I didn't know his family was like that I have been with my husband for 6 years.

    Should I go around these people and If so how often. I encourage my husband to take my son over there at least once a week
     
  2. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie

    +1,214
    Christian
    Married
    So.... For whatever bizarre, known-only-to-her reason, your mother in law does not like you. It seems she can't even be civil. Why subject yourself, and her, to continued discomfort and unhappiness? You sound like an attentive, sacrificing wife, and I'm very sorry that this is happening to you. Inter-cultural marriages can be deeply tricky. Possible, but tricky, and often painful.

    Praying for you guys. Christ be with you.
     
  3. Gracia Singh

    Gracia Singh Newbie

    +1,214
    Christian
    Married
    On the other hand... If you do go, don't go alone. Have your husband with you. Perhaps the charitable thing to do would be to go and visit, max, once a month, but again, it's completely up to you..... At least if you show up now and then, they can't blame you for being aloof and unfriendly. I don't know. Prayers, man. God bless you guys.
     
  4. Tolworth John

    Tolworth John Well-Known Member

    +835
    Non-Denom
    Married
    I am sorry to hear of your horrible situation.
    Have you talked with your husband about her reaction?
    If she is not willing to be civil to you why do you allow your son to visit her?
    If you can't trust your husband with other women, can you trust him with your son to return from visiting his mother?

    I would suggest if she wants to see him, then she visits you and if she can't be civil then there are no visits.
     
  5. Hank77

    Hank77 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +5,263
    United States
    Non-Denom
    Married
    US-Others
    This woman sounds very vindictive for whatever reason, it really doesn't matter. I agree with @Tolworth John that you should not let your son visit with her without you there. She will be turning your son against you.
    Don't encourage your husband to take him there. If he is going go with them. Just ignore her bad behavior and don't try so hard. If she wants something let her get it herself or let your husband or son get it for her. Don't let her set you up to be abused.
    Be polite without being her emotional punching bag.
     
  6. *LILAC

    *LILAC Well-Known Member

    +1,255
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    In agreement with the other posters. Don't visit alone or let your son be alone with her. Make sure your husband is with you at all times. And, although you can be polite but don't be over-the-top polite. She clearly has an issue, so try not to take it personally.
     
  7. mkgal1

    mkgal1 His perfect way sets me free. 2 Samuel 22:33

    +2,238
    Anglican
    Married
    IMO---your problem isn't just a MIL problem....why is your husband not standing up for you? It could be (just to give him the benefit of the doubt) that he's grown up with her rude behavior and he only sees it as "normal". This article, in my opinion, comes from a great perspective and has practical solutions:

     
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