Well, this is how I see this dilemma now:
a., we should not make amends for pre-conversional offenses because we are a new creation in Christ, old things have disappeared (2Corinthians 5:17), God does not count our sins against us (2Corinthians 5:19), and as the Son set us free, we are free indeed (John 8:36). The "vertical" and "horizontal" kinds of relationship are an unbiblical concept, excuse me, Twistedsketch.
b., if a pre-conversional (presently inactive) relationship was relatively harmonious when we last checked it but it was riddled with unforgiven offenses deep under the surface, we should leave it as it is based on a.,. The exception is when the offense involves a major debt (Luke 19:8) as it should be settled.
c., specific sin identification to the offended is only necessary in the above-mentioned exceptional case involving a major debt. Otherwise it's the same scenario as in a.,.
When I first realized that there may be some truth in the teaching that we should make amends for our pre-conversional offenses, I promptly embarked on what I now see as a legalistic, humanistic crusade to ask forgiveness from at least 30 persons (including some ex-girlfriends). Only one or two of these offenses actually haunted me after my conversion in the first place. Anyway, many of these persons left my letter(s) unanswered (if they even knew who I was after all this time). That and the whole process made me feel miserable. I've become obsessed with making amends for a long chain of adolescent and young adulthood quibbles and lies, but I felt that the process is wrong somehow.
Then I came to realize that there's a good reason why we don't find an explicit teaching in the NT saying "you should return to your unforgiven sins from before you were saved". Because, as a general rule, we should not. There's a warning passage in Hebrews concerning apostasy (6:4-6) that is said to be "Satan's favorite passage". I believe this would be his other favorite. He would use it to induce guilt where there is no place for guilt. I for one became a Christian when I was 26. That translates to about 20 years of continuous, unwitting pagan sinning, blundering, lying, cussing on my part. It would take a lifetime to appease this literal guilt trip, as in my experience one restituted offense promptly leads to a newly revealed offense further back in time to form an endless chain -- just as Satan pleases.
So I believe that we should leave our old man's (old self's) ugly legacy alone unless the Spirit bids us to make something specific right (as in Zaccheus). But even if He does bid us, He will not keep us awake at night doing so. His essence is love, thus severe guilt tripping cannot be His way.
(copied from 'new Christians' thread)
Anyone else?
