Should I live in fear?

[Kees Hogenbirk]

Hey everybody,

I've been struggling with something lately.
I've always been one to feel an immense pressure to do everything in life right, and to feel incredibly inadequate.

Honestly, these last few weeks, for the first time in a long while, I did something that I liked so much it can't compare to anything else, but I feel so guilty and shameful about it.
I don't know how to say this correctly, but I've been trying to mentally 'trust' that everything is going to be alright. There've been small moments when I just kind of 'let go' of my worries and allow myself to trust. Just trust, not in God or Jesus, but just trust in the good of life, and for life to be good. It feels so liberating, like a weight off my shoulders. I feel genuine love and freedom at those moments, matched by no other feeling.

But I'm not sure I should be feeling these things. Because immediately following these moments is always the return of the idea that God is going to send me to hell. After all, I still have sex before marriage and I still don't go to church. And so I constantly feel I shouldn't deserve this peace of mind, and the mental shackles just pop back on, paralyzing me with fear.

To be really honest here, I want to stop trying to live a life where I do things because I'm afraid that God will hate me and send me to hell if I don't do the things he wants of me.
I just want to be free, to feel peace and love, and love am people around me.
But I am just so deadly terrified of God and Jesus and what he will do to me when I want to continue with my thoughts and behaviour. To be truthful, as I write this, I think that I haven't been a good person in my life. I think I've only done good things out of a fear of going to Hell when I didn't do them.

Please help me. Should I allow myself to just trust and feel free? Or am I in the wrong? Please be honest.

 

[mmksparbud]

Hey everybody,

I've been struggling with something lately.
I've always been one to feel an immense pressure to do everything in life right, and to feel incredibly inadequate.

Honestly, these last few weeks, for the first time in a long while, I did something that I liked so much it can't compare to anything else, but I feel so guilty and shameful about it.
I don't know how to say this correctly, but I've been trying to mentally 'trust' that everything is going to be alright. There've been small moments when I just kind of 'let go' of my worries and allow myself to trust. Just trust, not in God or Jesus, but just trust in the good of life, and for life to be good. It feels so liberating, like a weight off my shoulders. I feel genuine love and freedom at those moments, matched by no other feeling.

But I'm not sure I should be feeling these things. Because immediately following these moments is always the return of the idea that God is going to send me to hell. After all, I still have sex before marriage and I still don't go to church. And so I constantly feel I shouldn't deserve this peace of mind, and the mental shackles just pop back on, paralyzing me with fear.

To be really honest here, I want to stop trying to live a life where I do things because I'm afraid that God will hate me and send me to hell if I don't do the things he wants of me.
I just want to be free, to feel peace and love, and love am people around me.
But I am just so deadly terrified of God and Jesus and what he will do to me when I want to continue with my thoughts and behaviour. To be truthful, as I write this, I think that I haven't been a good person in my life. I think I've only done good things out of a fear of going to Hell when I didn't do them.

Please help me. Should I allow myself to just trust and feel free? Or am I in the wrong? Please be honest.

2Ti 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2Ti 1:8 Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partaker of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;
2Ti 1:9 Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began,

 

[Halbhh]

Hey everybody,

I've been struggling with something lately.
I've always been one to feel an immense pressure to do everything in life right, and to feel incredibly inadequate.

Honestly, these last few weeks, for the first time in a long while, I did something that I liked so much it can't compare to anything else, but I feel so guilty and shameful about it.
I don't know how to say this correctly, but I've been trying to mentally 'trust' that everything is going to be alright. There've been small moments when I just kind of 'let go' of my worries and allow myself to trust. Just trust, not in God or Jesus, but just trust in the good of life, and for life to be good. It feels so liberating, like a weight off my shoulders. I feel genuine love and freedom at those moments, matched by no other feeling.

But I'm not sure I should be feeling these things. Because immediately following these moments is always the return of the idea that God is going to send me to hell. After all, I still have sex before marriage and I still don't go to church. And so I constantly feel I shouldn't deserve this peace of mind, and the mental shackles just pop back on, paralyzing me with fear.

To be really honest here, I want to stop trying to live a life where I do things because I'm afraid that God will hate me and send me to hell if I don't do the things he wants of me.
I just want to be free, to feel peace and love, and love am people around me.
But I am just so deadly terrified of God and Jesus and what he will do to me when I want to continue with my thoughts and behaviour. To be truthful, as I write this, I think that I haven't been a good person in my life. I think I've only done good things out of a fear of going to Hell when I didn't do them.

Please help me. Should I allow myself to just trust and feel free? Or am I in the wrong? Please be honest.

25 At that time Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. 26 Yes, Father, for this is what you were pleased to do.

27 “All things have been committed to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and those to whom the Son chooses to reveal him.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

[com7fy8]

I think I've only done good things out of a fear of going to Hell when I didn't do them.

This is not the reason to do what is good. God wants us to do what is good because of love. And >

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment." (in 1 John 4:18)

Should I allow myself to just trust and feel free?

Not if you mean to feel free to sin.

It seems you have found out how you can feel so good for a while after you do what is wrong, but then you get ambushed by the pain later.

Because weakness for foolish pleasure can help to maintain us in weakness so we can suffer pain, also.

What we need is how God satisfies us in His peace to do what He wants. And this peace is almighty to keep our hearts and minds safe and sound >

"the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" (in Philippians 4:5-6)

 

[Kees Hogenbirk]

I don't get it.

So I have to do good out of my own free will, without fear, but I cannot feel free to sin?
So do I do things purely from what I want, or do I do things that I force myself to do out of fear?

 

[tturt]

Suggest / encourage you to study God's titles, names and attributes which will probably take awhile because there's hundreds. Online some resources have the Scripture listed so those are the ones I prefer.. That way I can check it out. Then research who we are in Christ Jesus.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I don't get it.

So I have to do good out of my own free will, without fear, but I cannot feel free to sin?
So do I do things purely from what I want, or do I do things that I force myself to do out of fear?

Neither.

We no longer do the things "we want" to do,
instead completely willingly and joyously recognizing
the Creator Knows Absolutely What is Best and lets us know
we DO HIS WORD,
as Jesus Does Always,
not of ourselves any longer,
but all and all in Him, His Way.
With no fear - as fear involves punishment....
as we experientially realize fully His Love in trusting obedience to Him

 

[splish- splash]

Good thing is you can, open up about each and every one of your struggles and fears to God. Let Him in so He can dine with you, and you'll experience how sweet it is to know Him.

 

[timf]

You are on a path. This path has a beginning;

Pro 9:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.

The end of this path can be seen as Christ-likeness;

Eph 4:13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:

As we explore our freedom in Christ, we begin to see that living in the flesh or for self tends to take us away from our Savior. We can also begin to see that pouring ourselves out for others (as Christ did for us) opens the door to humility (more grace) as well as real love.

 

[aiki]

Hey everybody,

I've been struggling with something lately.
I've always been one to feel an immense pressure to do everything in life right, and to feel incredibly inadequate.

The former typically produces the latter, doesn't it? In light of this, it is...odd how difficult it is to abandon a perfectionist attitude. One would think the bitter sense of inadequacy it produces would be sufficient to prompt us to leave off perfectionism.

Honestly, these last few weeks, for the first time in a long while, I did something that I liked so much it can't compare to anything else, but I feel so guilty and shameful about it.
I don't know how to say this correctly, but I've been trying to mentally 'trust' that everything is going to be alright. There've been small moments when I just kind of 'let go' of my worries and allow myself to trust. Just trust, not in God or Jesus, but just trust in the good of life, and for life to be good. It feels so liberating, like a weight off my shoulders. I feel genuine love and freedom at those moments, matched by no other feeling.

Sounds like relief. Its amazing how strong a sense of relief can be - even when that relief is essentially baseless - as in your case - anchored to nothing but a "letting go of worries" and "trusting in the good of life." And, of course, the addict who yields to his addiction feels relief, too, right? The person laboring under OCD feels relief when he submits to his obsessive-compulsiveness. I don't think I'd say that their sense of relief signals something good has occurred, however. Nor would I in your case, either.

As far as I can tell from what you've written, your sense of relief, what you describe as feeling "love and freedom," rests on an illusion. However wonderful you may feel, your feeling is derived from an amorphous fantasy, a trusting in nothing, essentially. I can't see, then, that this situation will take you anywhere good. The heroin addict may feel intensely thrilled when he yields to his addiction and shoots up, but this feeling, however nice, is actually bringing him closer and closer to destruction.

But I'm not sure I should be feeling these things. Because immediately following these moments is always the return of the idea that God is going to send me to hell. After all, I still have sex before marriage and I still don't go to church. And so I constantly feel I shouldn't deserve this peace of mind, and the mental shackles just pop back on, paralyzing me with fear.

God does not let us carry on in His universe just as we like with impunity. It's His universe made to serve His purposes, not ours. When we act in violation of this fact, as though God doesn't exist, we know deep down we're in trouble. I'm not surprised, then, to hear of your fear of God's judgment - especially in light of your admitted rebellion toward Him. It's quite natural you should feel the jeopardy resulting from your willful disregard of His will and way.

There is peace with God, though, through Jesus Christ. You don't have to go about under the weight of God's wrathful judgment.

2 Corinthians 5:20-21
20 ...we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
21 He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

To be really honest here, I want to stop trying to live a life where I do things because I'm afraid that God will hate me and send me to hell if I don't do the things he wants of me.

Then be reconciled to God through trust in Christ as your Saviour and submission to him as your Lord. Simple.

John 3:16
16 "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Romans 10:9-10
9 that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved;
10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation.

God's not going to back off of His demand that you live His way in His universe.

I just want to be free, to feel peace and love, and love am people around me.

No, what you want is to live your life your way. God didn't make you for such a life. It is actually a life of bondage - to the fleshly impulses and intrinsic selfishness of your own sinful heart. And it will bring you ultimately to destruction. That's a promise from God.

Proverbs 16:25
25 There is a way which seems right to a man, But its end is the way of death.

Romans 6:23
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Galatians 6:7-8
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.
8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.